There's an ick in my crick,
that makes me feel sick,
my insides are taring in two!

I seek some relief,
complete disbelief,
this sickness contracted from you!

I put on my scarf,
am ready to ****,
my temperature rises above.

I'm ready to hurl,
my diamonds and pearls,
lost all of their their lustrous love.

It lays at my feet,
spread out on the street,
I told you that I wasn't faking.

My mind and my heart,
all splattered apart,
my soul lays there now for the taking!

Sailing across a field on a machine of pure iron
He carries your weight as though,
you were merely a fly on his shoulder.
Pulsing in your veins echos the thunder, of each
consecutive hoof as it strikes the Earth in turn.
The wind taring at your skin.
Your eyes water painfully with its vengeance.
The land fly's by in fades of greens and blues
Time stands still and the world tips on end.

©  Crystal Erickson

my female cicada
found way to lay eggs
inside of my nasal cavity
our larvae are
pupating
hatching free
screaming inside of my frontal lobe. maddening me.
and a swarm it swims out
every time that i sneeze
and i ask them to please **** me
with their disease
but they chew through my hyde
(and who knew that id
find the hard way these incestuous insects could tease
til they torture the swallowed man, hollowed inside,
empty,
wallowing,
died
(and now no mind to mind,
so i guess i forgive em;
their mess, as the walls of my mind are lined with em))
yes theyve blessed these
molested and
nested flesh pieces of me
and replaced em with feces and waste:
rest in peace.
guess a curse would be worse,
now i know that my family
makes our home in the earth,
and they take what they give;
they give Death to take birth
and take breath from each other to give to themselves,
and what else?
Fathers Brothers
and Sisters and Mothers
are Kissing cuz thats what lovers
do to lovers
before they enjoy their next meal made of ******.
"Meat i would like you to meet Meat and Meat" cuz thats all that they are to eachother like i was to their second cousin and mother. and she was to me a sure way to become better father and son by means of becoming fully free of this Life, what a wife, giving me family at the same time as taking my life so i dont have to end it by sending a knife through my wrist or my neck, oh and lest i forget: well, i beckon to send you a message, my wife: "im so sorry that i wasnt there when our our kids started ripping and taring your body apart. Love i Swear if i couldve been there idve stopped em and started to chop em and never have stopped. but its over now. lover how lovely itd be if you were singing delicately next to me with your legs and then climbed back inside of my skull to lay eggs in my nasal cavity. the screaming and ravishing, pupating, oh its so maddening not be having these. hacking and wheezing and coughing and sneezing til my nose is bleeding and they can start feeding. i wanna feel feelings of them eating on my brainstem and the rest of my flesh and then hollowing out all of my bones and then make a home as they start to have larvae all of their own which then, they will then start to eat, from my head to my feet, and between, from my elbows and knees, im a death bed of meat which my family needs;
theres so many to feed cuz - theyduplicatein3's...

A love buried in the depth of the earth
skipping the grave that can be lit up
and the bottom of the sea
water billows out of this abyss
netting the eyeballs of the sky.
Then the bottom of the night
was skipped likewise.

Taring the shades of black
there the moon rolls out
in the enchanting half-light.
So it had to be tucked away
only at the bottom of the earth.

Everything the all-inclusive pi  
could pop up from that safe womb there
that carries the weight of the matters  
but never shows up an equating pattern!

The nightingale scurries to the red rose
bubbling on the morning tessera
as if it mined out the treasure of the earth!
Oh it doesn't seem to be the only one scorer
upon the rose a mirror is up in the sky
‘Love’ is in the eyes of the sun!

The best artistry enraptures its creator in a fugue of furious activity that is almost beyond his/her control. They are overcome with inspiration and must follow it. It is the unconscious mind ripping and taring at the fabric of the creators mind, and it is is the closest thing to ecstasy I know.

I want my life back
I want my wife back
Want everything back that I lost
Im willing to pay the ultimate cost
Put my back against the wall and then I lost it all
Wake most mornings sad I gotta face another day
Wake most nights trying to keep the tears away
I have to face the truth no matter what its become
You try and make me wait
You try to say the way its all going to go
That I wont stay but I cant I just cant do this anymore
Its taring me apart, my heart laying on the floor
Im standing at the door waiting to come into my own
My sole laid bare for all to see
But still she cant see me
From all that she read
From all that Ive said
I may as well be dead
Standing rite in front of her yet she still doesnt know me
I cant do this anymore
My heart lying at the door
Its all been a lie and its to hard to try
I cant fix it now even if I cry
Standing out in the cold with nobody to hold
Im all alone with my fears
I cant change the past nine years
I dont want to leave
I have to have some reprieve
From all the pain Ive caused
And now that I see just what your love means to me
I feel that have to run
Now that all here is done.

im falling.
and slowly losing breath.
taking apart everything you ever said.
holding back my fears.
dealing with the pain.
caught in the world.
where everyone's insane.
clawing at the walls.
taring apart my finger tips.
feeling so much pain.
to live or to love.
to laugh with out the past.
to feel the way i wish.
with out a spell cast.

With eyes of deep and beautiful intent she asked for language not just words. So I replied” What language would you have to elevate your soul and inspire that deep resonating force you call your creative mind. Are you looking for words imbued with force or more flowery and descriptive verse.”

There came no reply so I continued. “Say the word and I will dismember my already mutilated mind to find the right words. Find the perfect purple blossom, fold my soul into its tiny wrinkles and give it to you as a gift.”
Still silence reigned, taring at my deeply sorrow filled heart. For though I was full of affection she was not. Thus I ended” I would see the brown leaf, dried and crumbling, hear the strange music it makes, till fall winds carried the crumbled bits away, or they settled down to add another layer to this life. As a writer you remind me to look deeper into to everything, for that I thank you.”

Her reply was the quiet night. I let the truth settle. She saw no need to reply to me, I was but a broken petal. She was a blooming beauty full formed flower, an artist above my station. So I settled for my own company. A shadow sinking in the corner, with only lovely words to keep me company.

Man bore a child to rise from a storm
to reach the heights of Godly form
Thus came from the vital womb
A crazed man; Fear he never knew

Pawnee, Pirate greatest Mountain Man
his soul journey, to tame a savage land
On a trail to the grounds of fertile water
he leads many to walking pelts of gold
when thunder from the mountains
shatters is bold heroic soul
Taring from the flesh, extracting from bone
the king of the wild from many stories known
Lashing of teeth settles on tough leather skin
eyes vanish back; Fear overtakes his men
When the violence departs by a well placed shot
the sulfur clouds like fog lift and float with the wind
Two men sit guarding their leader and friend

Death wavers over his soul like a black cloud
calling to take him to the darkest unknown
Fitzgerald and Bridger long ago they did depart
taking everything but the will of Glasses heart
Rolling to a rotting log, giving the maggots a feast
relieving him of infection, revealing scars from the beast
The greatest journey now unfolds months of crawling
return to the wilderness that he calls home

let me hold you, let me love you.
unconditionally, non traditionally.
i could give you a love that people die for.
a love that the gods of fate would cry for.
the suns love to shine, we would put to shame.
for my soul is a fire, and you are the flames.
i burn for you more passionately then all the stars in the sky.
your my reason to live and my reason to die.
your smile is what anchors me down,
your smile sends me straight to the clouds.
i want to give life to that light in your eyes,
let the friction of flesh slay the pain from inside.
how you shine so divine.
how your beauty leaves me blind.
not another moment can past, without showing you my heart.
its yours for the taking or taring apart.
this honesty's from deep in me,
your name laces the air i breathe.
at dusk you dance through my sweet dreams.
i love you so internally, eternally, i yearn for thee.

She walked on the outskirts of society
In a whimsical fashion flowers intertwined in her hair wearing a vintage crocheted dress taring  underneath her sleeves
barefoot and free ..
she smoked a joint , laughed at life..
and continued down the less traveled path..

I close my eyes and there you sit, my mind never seems to quit
I remember your touch, oh the body rush
I remember your taste, without you my times a waste
I remember your laugh, your voice
In my mind the sounds rejoice
I remember your smile, your face
With you is my only place
I will never forget
Not a time in the world i could ever regret
If i could do it over again id fix my mistakes
I would have never ran
If you could only feel my heart
Without you its taring apart
If only you knew, my words were true
In my chest i feel pain
Without my girl i always see rain

Hope's love lost.
The weight of the universe.
In a four letter word.
Words are meaningless.
Eyes bare the soul.
Eyes lie in depths.
Deeper feeling,
Deeper regrets.
Killing noise
With substance.
Solitary confinement.
Vines bind us.
Taring deep into wrists.
Leaving a plethora
Of white slits.
Unwanted.
Thrown out.
I'm a black plastic trash bag.
Filled with red solo cups.
A whisky lullaby
On display.
Wax paper escape.
Goodbye,
Adios.
Falling down the rabbit hole.

Her beauty is unattainable
As I stretch myself taring at
The thin ****** strings that hold me back
The visor painted completely black
The horrible buildup of ear wax
And the ****** brown wash rag mouth gag
That makes me deaf, blind, and mute
While killing my sense of humor and hope
in one fell swoop to boot

I LISTEN TO THE WORDS OF THE PREACHER
    BUT I ONLY HEAR MY SINS
          CRYING, LAUGHING, PLACING ME ELSEWHERE.

I WONDER WHERE I WILL END UP?
     KNOWING GOD ONLY KNOWS
          I HAVE TO CHANGE, I HAVE TO STOP IT...
                                         END IT.

"The Lord confides in those who fear Him; He makes His covenant known to them." ~Ps. 25:14~

I SIT UPON A ROCK OF LIES
     AS I WATCH THE SUN SET DOWN
          I NEVER WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN,
                   NOT EVEN ONCE...

IT DID AND I THOUGHT IT WAS LOVE
     TRUE LOVE, NOW I KNOW DIFFERENT
            I SEE AND FEEL THE DIFFERENCE
                     THAT WHICH BEFORE NOW...I WAS BLIND TO.

IT'S SUNDAY AGAIN...I LISTEN TO THE PREACHER
     HIS WORDS FALL UPON MY EARS LIKE A DRUM
               BEATING LOUDLY
                           TARING OUT MY HEART.

THE MUSICAL NOTES FROM THE CHOIR
              GENTLE, CALMING WORDS OF PEACE
                            IN A SONG

THEIR VOICES BLEND TOGETHER, SOOTHING MY PAIN
     SETTING MY EMOTIONS FREE
                   TEARS FALL LIKE RAIN FROM MY EYES

TEARS THAT ROLL AND DROP
     ON TO THE OPEN PAGES OF MY HYMNAL
                SLIGHTLY BLURRING THE CONTENT

"Let's All Pray Together on Our Knees"

I'M NOT SINGING
     FOR MY SOUL IS IN DISCONTENT
                  THE DEVIL'S IN MY MIND AND HE WANT TO GO

MY HEART, ON THE OTHER SIDE, WANTS TO STAY
     IT IS SAYING, STAY...LISTEN...LET HIM GO~

Jennifer L. Lowman (C) 2017

the skin around my music
Is peeling off my body
The skin is wearing thin and taring
Falling off and rotting

If I glue it back on
Will I be a song.

The music has many colors
The music is black
I cant see through the music
It's a cataract

Broken fields of faultless dreams,
Filled with chaos and taring screams,
Sinister laughs with bellow cries,
A shattered idea can haunt lifetimes,
For what is dreamt can be turn't,
Twisted into nightmare; A curse,
For if it fall's unfulfilled,
A dream can cast a flurry of nil's,
Of broken regret, path's and live's,
Of what could have been and what has died.

Yet of those dream's that shatter like glass,
New idea's spring from the past,
A brighter light from your bulb,
Define's a new dream that you'll behold,
For yet a broken thing doe's indeed hurt,
Wound's do heal, though not disappear,
We build on idea's to make life clear,
So hold your heart through the cloud,
And live life proud and aloud,
For the start that you will find,
Will help another with their lifeline,
For dream's give hope of better new's,
Step up your glass and think of you,
For you, the star in your own story,
Dream of life and your found glory.

Many are the vagrants who roam
The streets of my mind
They knock on the ceiling of my scull
As I ponder their plight
Restlessly climbing into my human emotions
Taring at the twines that bind us together
As they mercifully hold on to the strings
Frantically crying out
Please forgive us... forgive us
And I did

My heart is
a hungry beast
beating,
and growling
for something,
needing feeding
of primal desires.

It is white shredded bits
of paper
preparing
for the taring
and sharing
of ash
as it burns fast,
consumed
by the embers
that rise
to fires in the eyes
of those
we long to touch.

When I awake
and quake
the tremors
of ecstasy
seeing my sweet fantasy
coming to life
the beast’s
urgency
slowly recedes
and I am free
to be
a rational me.

Until,
the hunger returns
for the next in line
of eternal
sequels.

Walking away
From every brick I layed
A new wall I must build
One that might keep me safe
Safe in a world hell bent on self
Destruction

My how this world has changed
Things will never be the same The world has gone insane
Who do you think is to blame

History of man they want to change
Taring down monuments like they are to blame
Just what is that suppose to change

Racsism is in full bloom
Thanks to a few who thought they knew
So many games they play
Of our government ------

Taring my temple apart and laying it down at your feet. Emotions, heartaches, anger, happiness, love, desires all laid down in simpler paragraphs. Giving you my final chapter for your last chance to understand me.

At night my sister and I
Stared at those plastic stars
That have been plastered on our ceiling
Since we were young
Wishing that the warmth of our love
Was enough
And she didn't have to look for more
In the wine glasses filled to the brim
Coming home late at night
Screaming knives into my heart
Taring me down into the little sparkle
She claimed to see in her eye
But now I just wasn't as bright
They say drunk words
Are sober thoughts
So maybe that's why it hurts so bad
Or maybe its because
Your parents are supposed to love you
And when they don't
Can anyone really?

The best artistry enraptures its creator in a fugue of furious activity that is almost beyond his/her control. They are overcome with inspiration and must follow it. It is the unconscious mind ripping and taring at the fabric of the creators mind, and it is is the closest thing to ecstasy I know.

L | oving girls
E | ven if people object
S | taring into each other’s eyes
B | eing together
I  | n a world where love is love
A| nd you’re accepted for who you are
N| obody can tell you to be someone else

why are these options beginning to weigh in my head?
options of the End, is that all it means now? is this where I end?
what do I do?  why am I trying? what is happening? what is going on?
where do I go? who do I turn to?


there's nothing to me, there's nothing here anymore
there's nothing there anymore
there's nothing happening
nothing inside of me
I'm a fake
I'm a fraud
I'm noting
what's happening why did this all go on?
always the answers: either a video of my insignificance, a slideshow of who and what I shadow, a faded memory: I don't want to fade out, unrecognized, unrelated, unchanged willing walking,
worrying worthered, friendlessness friednliness inside of a bull's tube: some drowning little parts that rely on a friction fission twisting taring tubes andn paper, turnout, turnabout, realizes relinquishes hearted life, likelaugh, no love, lifelast, when you're heartless.