"reconsidering" poems
I had built a wall
Layer by layer
Mortar and stone
Until it was so high
And so strong
I thought no one could break it.
But I overlooked something
Because when I was done
There you were.
You just slipped right past my wall
Without even noticing its presence.
I was too surprised to push you out.
And then a funny thing happened
I was happy
And at peace with the world
And reconsidering my wall
Reconsidering
What I was protecting myself from.
I didn't have much of myself
To give away
But I gave you some of what was left
But not so much
That it would destroy me
To have to take it back.
Because I'd been though that before
I gave away so much
And still most of it is gone.
I've been hurt into being
More cautious with my feelings
Than I used to be.
And it turned out to be
A good thing
A blessing inside a curse
Because when you gave that piece back
It hurt
But I knew it could have been worse.
Because you can't break something
That's already been broken
By another.
There wasn't any part of me I gave you
That you could destroy
I didn't give you that.
I keep my heart close to me
Because it belongs to another
You were only borrowing what I had left.
So I will be fine
Because I've been through worse
And you are not my Kryptonite.
Oct 20, 2011
Oct 20, 2011 at 12:54 AM UTC
I'm not like the other guys.
I can't escape this it always finds me,
I try hard to stop it but there's no stopping.
I can't fight it off because it's not of my control,
It's how other people think and I'm just a fool.
I can't escape what others percieve me as,
I just be myself and I guess I'm an ***
I don't understand why I keep getting pushed down,
I am the nicest guy I know and yet I'm being like all guys around.
I try hard to be the best and the opposite of the others,
But it seems like in the end I'm just like my twin brother.
I'm nothing special and I'm just an idiot,
Don't feel bad if you've called me that I'm used to it.
My dad would say I'm a failure at life that I need to just see,
I tried to block that out but that's exactly what others have shown me,
I'm nothing special and I'm just like the others why even try?
It's like every girl I come across would be better off if I die.
I'm the guy that will cry when I'm told something wrong,
It's probably because I've held all my emotions in for so long.
I know there's great times but then there's the bad,
and when those bad occurs it just makes me really sad.
I'm not lying when I say I try **** it I try really hard!
I don't want to be that ******* of a guy that ****** in peoples yards!
I try not to be that horrible guy that plays 2-3 girls,
I try not being that horrible guy that's ***** rules his world!
I know that I think with my brain or atleast I say I do,
I'm sorry to all if I've ever hurt any of you.
I'm reconsidering what I've thought from the first time this happened,
I might just delete this account and that's just going to be the end.
Please don't be mad or sad, don't tell me to stay.
I'm probably going too anyways,
I'm just trying to smile for once again this is my escape,
But how can your sanctuary be something that's worse in a way?
I love you so much, I love you all I'm not lying.
But I can't stand the girls that turn their backs on me,
Because inside I'm really dying.
I'm not an emo so ***** all of you if that's what you see.
I'm just someone confused with this site,
Who can't stand all the fights,
I want this to be the place that's right,
But soon it'll take over my sight.
If you want me to stay, then show me that im diffrent,
Make me know, im not like the others,
I want to show guys here, that im diffrent.
Tell me should I stay?
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 4:25 PM UTC
foam floral caps, work of wet hydrangea,
or pulse of caucasian lilacs in a sky-relieved frieze.
cambric pennons swag reconsidering
margins of wimpling burn,
wherein the stars…twiring stars,
the declining stars, moon and planets
turned--
purchase light with morning-hands:
green-bedizened;
amber trammeling bud.
absolve qualm suffusing tyre,
violet’s violent leniency--
and feel, o’bask! in velvet
flume of veins,
as beams of conspiracy raise
to post and lintel,
crutching a young god’s legs--
and feel, o’supplicate! bathe in
day’s anatomies,
til greave deposit in lacunary sleeves,
and a genuflecting sun bow eternally--
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 6:38 PM UTC
Staring at the night sky.
Back to the asphalt,
waiting.
The stars are dimmed by a thin cloud smattering
hanging above relentlessly,
the result of a windless evening.
Only here on a lampless island
could you see through to the stars.
The water laps rhythmically against the dockside.
Consistent.
Reassuring.
It seems I’ve been out here forever
awaiting my shooting star.
Irritating clouds matched with crisp night air,
make the search troublesome.
It’d be irrational to wait much longer.
Reconsidering.
Then she tears across the midnight sky.
Brilliant and promising.
Perhaps the brightest one yet.
I’ve never been a man for wishes,
but I have an urge to make one right now.
Nov 17, 2010
Nov 17, 2010 at 7:38 AM UTC
Stocked up, locked up
In my sanctum ********
Got *** and cigs and cheap wine;
For me that makes a quorum.
I hope no friend comes by
Acting all hale and hearty.
They're not inside a moment
Then they call up Dial A Party.
Then suddenly my place
Plays host to all the bums
Who have nothing else
But the strength to come
And just sit on my couch
And then eat up all my food
Drink all of my *****
While slurring words like “Dude!”
Now, I'm not anti-social
But I am not Donald Trump
Who has plenty of cash
To entertain these humps.
If they only brought something;
A six-pack or some ****
I'd find an excuse for them;
Some lame reason or need.
So, these days I read
And keep the stereo off.
I don't turn on the lights.
Hell, I don't even cough.
I hide out in the bedroom
Just me and Sam *****
Seriously reconsidering
The kind of friends I've made.
Aug 23, 2016
Aug 23, 2016 at 10:38 PM UTC
Without Peace We All Know Where We're Headed......
Give peace a chance, will those of nobility declare
Intelligence of spirit, who could ever compare
Valiantly fighting the evil in the world, unwilling to fail
Earnestly helping those needy, without ever becoming frail
Peacefully sacrificing time and energy without ever reconsidering
Endangering themselves to constantly make a difference
Antagonizing the establishment for an instance
Coming home with battle scars to wear and none to share
Emphasizing they are not heroes, only that "they care"
Angering all others, for showing they disagree
Considering the options with nowhere to hide
Hiroshima and its aftermaths, would never subside
Attempting to disrupt, what those warmongers insist
No necessity to justify, the results do persist
Coming full circle does our world continue to exist
Ending in oblivion, if we don't learn how to desist
Jul 24, 2015
Jul 24, 2015 at 8:50 AM UTC
Never considerate about my thoughts how I feel
Now you're reconsidering my hard work efforts
Overlooked now being looked for opportunity
Been ready sitting on the back burner
Learned to be sure of myself better than not know
Showing more emotions instead of waiting about to go off
Not listening to teens not listening to Thor who have a vote of no confidence
All the haters hate them self trying to make me feel the same way
I don't do that anymore stop trying to bring me down with you
Fighting in this struggle too my hypocrites talking please shut up stop talking
Sometimes you can't make it move aside be inspired by the ppl moving up
Stop hating trying to keep them back
Mad because they found someone should've treated them right or they wouldn't be with someone else
Apr 25, 2013
Apr 25, 2013 at 2:50 PM UTC
I'm really reconsidering the sentence 'I Hate You'
It's meaning was once very difficult and complicated to me but now it's very clear
Hate is Darkness
It is Power
Evil
Bliss
Some say it's bittersweet
I say it's a ******* warm embrace
Some say you shouldn't let it consume you
Well I say it feels really good in my heart right now
Jul 4, 2010
Jul 4, 2010 at 2:56 PM UTC
Consider consider consider reconsidering
Listen to every single word I say, don’t look at the facts
You’ll be under my wing, sweet little singer
Reverse reverse reverse reversing
Laughing at the television that infects brains with little bugs
Teaching your baby mind how to control your arms and legs
Walk this way, and believe these things are your relief
Talking to drugs, ask ‘em about the way they control the world
Taking over, we’re under over the years
Dec 29, 2013
Dec 29, 2013 at 10:29 AM UTC
While I worked hard,
it came easy to her,
While she was a natural at it,
I had to grind my way to it.
A thought crossed my mind,
It’s unfair,
I had no flair,
no natural gift to spare,
for it’s meant only for the gifted,
and the blessed.
Upon reconsidering,
I wasn’t impuissant,
I had the vigorous tool of all–
belief in myself,
a clear path to achieve the goal.
Although rudimentary,
still, the one to fetch happiness.
It might take longer,
it might get harder,
but certainly is doable,
for it’s not about the gift, but grit.
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 5, 2018 at 3:08 PM UTC
Sylvia didn't waste time
She kept time
In a bell jar
On her nightstand
Next to the blissfully whirling blackness of eternal oblivion
All in the hopes it might one day grow wings
And lift her beyond the owl's talons clenching her heart
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 2:20 PM UTC
i’m reconsidering
what it means to
eliminate the space
between two people
Apr 21, 2015
Apr 21, 2015 at 8:43 PM UTC
Sometimes I look at people
as something disposable.
It's never how they said it'd be.
Nothing ever is.
I have my moments
but I know I'm
just a big coward.
Everyone has their moments
but we all know we're
all just a bunch of cowards.
Selfish.
Grandiose.
Narcissistic.
Afraid.
All this freedom is dangerous.
Left free and we're
reconsidering
analyzing
questioning.
If there was a better way to go
we'd have found it by now.
Come close, I have something to tell you.
I'd give up everything I've got
for just a little peace of mind.
Jan 15, 2017
Jan 15, 2017 at 2:06 AM UTC
Caution
Dynamite
Here lies Pandora's box
Not quite a curse
Not quite a dark pit
But a diamond
So sharp
It will open up your wounds
Just by looking at it
Open with caution
Open with care
In fact
Consider not opening the box
Consider that the brightness
Is as sharp as the edge
Consider reconsidering
Re-reading your journals
May 28, 2020
May 28, 2020 at 9:20 AM UTC