Pellucid pearls in northeastern
   North America since planetary birth
comprise Lakes Superior, Michigan,
     Huron, Erie, and Ontario
   (HOMES acronym) dearth
largest group of freshwater lakes on Earth
straddle Canadian–United States

   border tethering partial global girth
constituting 21% of world's surface
   fresh water species hearth
total surface equals 94,250 square miles
   And total volume equals
   5,439 cubic miles immeasurable worth.

Lake Erie from Erie tribe, abridged
   form of Iroquoian word erielhonan “long tail”
Lake Huron named by French explorers
   for Wyandot or “Hurons”
   whence they did sail
Lake Michigan likely from Ojibwa word
   mishigami “great water”

   aka outsize gold quail
Lake Ontario i.e. “Lake of Shining Waters”
   shimmering like hammered coat of mail
Lake Superior coined from French

   “lac supérieur” "upper lake",
   an emerald watery dale
   Ojibwe people called it gitchigumi
   medicinal to cure that, which might ail.

These five lakes each reside in separate basin
form a single, naturally interconnected
   body of fresh water caisson
linking east-central interior
   of North America to Atlantic Ocean
   akin to an escutcheon.

From interior to outlet at St. Lawrence River,
water flows via Superior to Michigan-
   Huron southward to Erie to avoid a shiver
finally released northward to Lake Ontario
   as like a well taut archer with his quiver.

The lakes drain a large watershed
   via many rivers as if a united olympic team
populated with approximately 35,000 islands
   this estimate not x stream
the Great Lakes region contains
   many thousands of smaller lakes,
   often called inland lakes undulating

   in cascading analogous to a fluid ream
Lake Michigan the only one located
   entirely within United States
   while the others border between
   United States and Canada
   essentially a liquid manifolded seam.

Lakes Michigan and Huron
   basically comprise a single lake,
sometimes called Lake Michigan
   Huron, combined doth make

   total area of 45,300 square miles (117,000 km2)
   have the same surface elevation of 577 feet (176 m),
   connected by 295-foot deep Straits
   of Mackinac Islands splayed like a rake.

Approximately 35,000 islands extant
   throughout oceanic like sea
largest among them Manitoulin Island
   in Lake Huron brushing up against Goliath knee.

The second-largest island
   Isle Royale in Lake Superior to boot
both of these islands contain
   multiple lakes them
   selves sacrilegious despoliation
   exceed wages of sin, hence
   further discussion, sans sanctity moot.

Extra...extra...Trumpasaurus Extinction

(Only a pipe dream)
Obsolete "FAKE" news
Extra...extra...Trumpasaurus Extinction,
Now Putin Rules As De Facto Leader!

Pastor Of Muppets – shout huzzah...
no mo' Trump he's Gone er re: ya
especially “father figure” for Miss Piggy
-----------------------------------------------------------­----
More'n a ***** dozen deeds done dirt cheap moon units ago
since presidential election took us down the highway to hell  
emotional, social repercussions still reverberate
how reprobate Trump triumphed

graduating magma *** lug head
to become leader of free world
acing highest score (via cribbed cheat sheet)
per Electoral College examination.
noah yam aghast (still feel nauseated) as
Donald trump got nominated president elect,

or more apropos an inept apprentice,
though a teetotaler delirium tremens,
brings corporeal bris
ling foretelling premonition
oven approaching crisis
as one basket of deplorable,

whose shell shocked eggs ess
tints did not peter out
re: fate rigged 2016 election appalled hike con fess
at prospect outsize bully nabbed
most sought after house seat - ugh guess

thine psyche fearful that arrogance, indecency,
pomposity, and vivacity will break ranks and restore Hess
shun militaristic modus operandi crowning himself
King Kong of amerika - applauded
by a *** dread locked Klansmen less
or more, with spirit of a jolly roger intent

shredding sacred documents, and creating a mess;
ages will require to restore righteous, and officious,
amazing gracious steeped ford did legacy
of forefathers and mothers
(against trump driving the country
into wah hell in a hand basket),

which democratic rubric Paine stay king lee
easel lee trampled oh press
sieve lee in sync with missteps
made during on the job training

at national ex pence augments ominous
ramping up of tess toss tear roan,
wherefore if happenstance finds Czech mated express
train tearing down the tracts,
we the people of the United States might vouchsafe
for a veep ping Petsmart prodigy to take over - YES!
-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -
Reince Priebus promises to hold sway,
while hi yam rez hind tune augur
race shin, more than approximately 300 hours ago,
a fate worse than death doth bode

despite hangover lingering effect
unable to shake mice elf sober
despite chugging nary an ale
memory summons back,

hide dashed hoof well-healed poem express
sing reaction while shuttered in me man cave dale
how Democratic Party did fail
to clinch nomination,

thus with measured words this male
wants to air and share his non-rapacious sentiments
others no doubt harbor various
seas sinned reactions that might pale

in terms - their private tear ring expressions
explicitly rant and rail against unexpected
and unacceptable result, where scale
of moderation heavily tilted
toward possible global travail

armaments stacked as thee Barron doth un veil
bombardiers carpet bomb
(whoops....accidentally kilt Trump heathen)
while manning his Taj Mahal casino gun whale.
-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -
-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -
ABOUT ONE MILLENNIUM LATER
-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -
what cha red back in history class i.e. yes...
that traitorous treacherous treasonous tale,
but truth told since time immemorial
whom sever decreed demise
of terrible lizard beasts aye

moost upend long entrenched theory,
and bid good bye
sans foursquare extinction reeks foul,
cuz one pea brained reptilian

o’er shadowed all as fiercest, he ranged free
amidst a cut throat rogues gallery
thee unnamable overlooked
sinister species sought supremacy

(gamut of miniature game pieces
model available at sundry department stores
wherever schlocky plastic model toys sold)
popular trapping of childhood imagination –

imbue vainglorious ventriloquist
inciting fiendish cry
such kiddy paraphernalia
forever a top selling plaything
snapped off shelves leaving allocated space bone dry.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Since time immemorial dinosaur makeshift gewgaws
did cap cha ominous jaws,
and populated fertile land of cave dwellers
whereat swaddled kinder babes bellowed believable
farcically feigned ferocious fabrications foraging bankrupt

foretold foreclosure to espy real McCoy
perhaps assembled from mud, rocks and sticks
noisome predators snatching
voice some innocent prey  -

ripping to tatters and shreds
unlucky victim rarely escaping
in fizz hicks of time – witnessed first hand proof positive
how I came that close (pinch thumb with index finger)

simian snack aye haint fool’n witch cha,
nar doth this medieval troubadour –
spin a yarn approximating
verity of nasty Hobbesian brute

trumpeting fiercely bruited
his bombastic buzz hard
carrion feed small fry to Golgotha donning topface,
could dice in a flickr emulate, and twitter

rang one excited live hotmail riding Pegasus,
while those in his Isis Petsmart warpath
on outlook to avoid get linkedin,
per imp (of the pervert) pale’n maws

simultaneously masticating and able to shutterfly
hither and yon, to and fro rousing
seditious twittering rogues gallery
of reprobate ruthless minions -

ruminants to become  apprenticed
fired up en mass thru the art of the deal
vis a vis venal pet peeves
pygmy male hominids revered
his racially stirred debacle

while straddling as a humungous towering hill,
he pill or reedlike lex Lucifer usurpation,
whence auld dish diehard don nah sore
dominated as demented species,

thus, he didst not perish from this earth
boot yielded rubric of emperor by the peep hole,
four the pea pull, of the peep pill.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
This older ville lad spurs rumor -
more than just food for thought or eating crow
does generate quite a wishful after thought to flow
whence sum divine

wind blown comedic act, an inflow
of furies rise from Dante's hell - don bell low
aye wood pine fate to hammer
sic culled swathed headline oh
brings joy to the world wide webbed land,

where Rob zombie i.e. Ivan Ca Rho
into dustbin of hiss tory;
stuffing of legions of legends
recollection and object lesson to hooligans woe
full derelicts, who might be forced
to cease clowning around like - bo Zoë.

Joyous rapture awoke sleeping animalistic giant:
carnal, feral, gonadal horniness in deed, when defiant

this primate crossed figurative
   paths with a stunning woman
older than a spring chicken freed
   via ma hen nah paws van
jealous (of casual suitors),
when I figuratively crossed urban
paths with delectable dame.

   This hedonistic mwm veritable tan
tin nab buell lay shun caged in rein
   mister experienced euphoric San
ta Claus gifted encounter merely
   approached a female stranger ran
king as absolutely beautiful asper
   Samson recounted Delilah, Qan

i.e. qualification assurance notification
   within this poetic blurb. Pan
dum money yum (does not come close)
   upon entering a nan
oh meter times a gazillion equals
   scope of super sized ALDI's, every man
woman, and child could be housed.

   This supermarket (anchored lan
did at one end of a string of bungle
   low slung businesses conveniently kan
struck ted adjacent to popular stores,
   which aligned buildings a haven come Jan
ewe weary, these newly constructed
   bricks and mortal portals along Ian

eyesed, seen as primary corridor
   i.e. Ridge Pike (linkedin with Han
sill and Gretel recently rural gingerbread
   cookie cutter communities). Gan
a mead by Jove, said affordably priced
   food store noticed as a fan
tass tick location along the driver side
   heading towards Limerick, ean
at dark hours within Pennsylvania).

   This patron (me) of aforementioned Dan
dee nofrills modestly priced franchise
   espied an available card soon after Can
Nudda entered this outsize place
   to buy groceries. Another shopper (a bon ban
Joe plucky strung string apetite
   slip sans attractive gracefully aged gal) anan

entered said market seconds later,
   and dye motioned (to her) as she sigh
lent lee reached same idle sturdy cart,
   which ordinarily requires a quarter to pry
loose from a train of chained property.
   I unthinkingly, reflexively, and blithely my
deferred politesse she took possession of cart.

   Within instantaneous affirmation je
nais sais quais consent given for her
   to load groceries in sought after cart, this guy
noir got fast impression immediately formed,
   whereby visually this chic chica to die
for spurred enticement as very pleasing
   Halloween eye candy, hence desirable allie

madamoiselle in question totally tubularly
   unaware of lovelorn spate. Minutes before
tardy reaction (and perfect comeback
   ex post facto) momentarily preoccupied chore
viz reviewing mental check list, my intent
   to act with courage and acknowledge a door
quick to close.  Her (unbeknownst)
   attractiveness to me. Upon inadvertently
   froze me like Eeyore

glancing at thee beautiful doll female human,
   an aggregate of positivity arose. That four
tut hood toward slender youthful looking chica
   figuratively took my breath away. She galore
re: us lee ranked topnotch on my register
   of aesthetic delight. Thus, while this jackfrosted ****
frosted flake ambled up and down aisles,
   an aim sought to relay pleasant physiology while Igor
Stravinsky – Flight of the Bumblebee buzz

   within every square inch of my anatomy bon jour
quivered with cockiness, covetousness,
   and craveness without resorting to Dumble Da lore
for guidance, hence indecorous, impetuous,
   or idolatrousness loosed rampant as more
consideration asper jimmying bold, daring do
   hounded (Lo and Behold) luck did not ig nor.
A nod in answer to prayer ready set terrific
   wonderful chance arose pondering how to mine ore

and coax a major outcome addressing this ambition,
   which unceasingly pecked, piqued, dirt poor
**** lee  pricked thy noggin about sudden revelation
   presence pretty lady Upon quor
tar number of minutes passed,
   whereat her increasing proximity, an unflagging score
begging akin to patriotic duty and appeasement
   sans uttering a compliment recognized roar
ring optimal (once in a solar eclipse) chance
   to corral, field, and invoke latent obligation that tore
per regaling unknown xwoman a dollop gratutity.
   Whether embarassment ensued possibly war
temporarily shunted aside, cuz if no propensity
   to risk testing cab age comfort zones of yore

if awesome stroke ignored, a disappointment
   toward self would manifest irking conscience.
For the rest of eternity. So without missing
a beat (and reckoning with nary a spare off fence
guess not to turnip ma nose), a apple lick able amicus
   brief pickle this complimentary gents
dare devilishly egged, finessed, gambit regarding
   how gorgeous (a veritable stranger) kents
humed and appealed to me, whence squashing
   regret at a costly emotional ex pence.

(my fashionably late xmas greeting
could long foster for this century 21 a meeting
of thee poetic minds pleasantry sent once
   boot not worth reap peat ting).

up in the air
mine barrel sized girth
   sloshes with cheap beer
wishing many strangers

   happy holidays and good cheer
making me suitable
   as santa claus and his team of rein deer
chewing gum to avoid

   popping in both left and right ear
yet the rickety sleigh
   may not become air borne I fear
landing ungracefully
   scattering presents and gear

if wooden contraption alights,
   a horrendous crash many will hear
no doubt instigating
   children and adults to jeer

comparing this jolly fellow to king lear
yet running for the hills
   as this mad man gets considerably near
the madding crowd,

   who expected a more
   healthy saint nick to a pear
with healthy physique
   instead of the trademark outsize rear

which cause for observers
   to guffaw and sneer
whereby my trademark suit
   will seemingly tear

and reveal that this clown
   wears frilly under wear
prompting me to avoid
   accepting this role for next year.

prior to this day March 13th, (Friday) 2018,
     the local climate (here in Schwenksville,
     Pennsylvania) did accord
with weather more aligned

more apropos with late winter so summery spike
     of Mercury thermometers
     for those of you old enough to remember
     (Careful NOT to chomp

     on fragile slender tubular glass),
     whence silvery liquid metal would poison...
     like sting of a scorpion, anyway
     (regional forecast by meteorologists)

     attested by the outsize
     outside electronic bulletin board
(situated on the property
     of Perkiomen Valley High School)

     where space doth a ford
to envision a spectacular sight, this gourd
jess scenic tract, nonetheless registered
     over eighty degrees, and hoard

of wives, sans special treasure re: bond
     courtesy viz Mother Nature Spring time bounty
     on the verge to yield ample harvest
     to fill cornucopia horn of plenty

     Omaha lore dee Lord
ah...the picturesque setting found me eyes moored
thus temptation pitched perfect game of LIFE
     where fauna and flora sub woofing audio-
     logically roared, and this **** Sapien

felt his psyche scored
with the golden radiant sear ching,
     transcendent, transparent transient rods,
     whereat thy face turned toward

cerulean vault - a cathartic, electric,
     and fantastic panacea to ward
off lingering late winter moody blues
     as many a lan yard
flush with excited children of a lesser god.

Fred Trump taught his sole son Donald to how to steel the leading way into more ***, though no hint given, nor prediction forecast in his growing up years, that would foretell, thru base anaphylactic cronyism, egotistical gall insidious kleptomania call, malodorous Machiavellian offal obnoxious quintessential skullduggery, unfair wicked yikyak zeal to wield selfishness, a mean mogul with brass, who would unstintingly live up to his sir name, and trump every law in the books of jurisprudence
and crass bend avast set of constitutional laws to feed his ferocious fealty to the all might dollar flaunting, fleecing, and flipping  the welfare of those (he deemed must serve him his insatiable hunger) to connive, dictate. and expedite his hell bent assiduity for an empire fit for a King, who felt no aversion to mollycoddle, peddle, and wheedle any zealous contractual obligation (immediately abrogated), and concoct fabrications
vis a vis, a visa versa MasterCard his American Express shun re: the art of the raw FitBit (if necessary browbeating, depriving, forfeiting meting out legally obligated pay (whenever an inconvenient truth awoke in his noggin reneging fiduciary promises (to the risk-taking, moon shining, toiling citizens ala Indian giving per many an unfair deal exuding crass with especial treatment to withhold wages for his (held in check) Polish laborers, who built his city on rock and rolling
stock – so a Starship emblazoned with the outsize ego of an exploiter with no pay to his backbreaking Polish construction motley crue nor even moo cho grassy us for erecting his empire now ranked in the billions of dollars unfairly pointing a finger to berate, dictate and finagle foreigners (illegal immigrants, he would now boot out of this country) to carry out drudgery
with hungry stomachs growling at slave wages, lamentably plodding since any other employer might question their vlsa status, hence anger boils within this generic human enraged that his wealth squeezed from every last drop of said craftsman, now if still alive old and broken men crushed by the mighty self proclaimed dictator of the proletariat, whose hollow being blind sides those he stares down, yet beware all that glitters is not gold!

A written account (that incorporates some
self directed hyperbole) of this veritable stranger
now appears before your screen. Soon
after reading this message, the neighbors

might discern a blood curdling series
of (hyena-like) shrieking screams.
No worry. That would be the mating call
of the hairy Harris mama bear.

Ready! Set! Click!

A scary reflection greets me whenever
I summon up enough steely courage to take
a sneak peek into the mirror. Before
spider lines start to appear across the
shiny surface and subsequent cracks

and fissures dissolve the glassy surface
these deux hazel colored, myopic be
spectacled eyes quickly absorb a most
frightful countenance and visage.

That near legendary and trademark feature
of longish, wavy and brown straggly hair
seems to fill the entire view. Hidden among
avant garde rhapsodic bohemian, Cro-Magnon,
Neolithic, non-every-man style of un-styled
non dread full locks (interspersed with silver follicles

indicative of acquired worry fighting off
garden variety prehistoric creature) can be discerned
a brutish, nasty and short proto-human with
high forehead, which allows, enables and provides
more skin surface to bang against wall when frustrated.

My somewhat outsize ears and longish neck
(I swear exist, which contrary to popular myth
never seen by living persons) support this egg shaped
(fried or scrambled some might argue) head.

A mostly flat and hairless chest attests to a regular
regimen of light (self-concocted) chest-pounding routine.
Exercise (as well as meditation) a vital part of my
daily program to deal with the ordinary stresses
of primitive existence. Coffee happens to be the

sotto voce sole vice, which exotic brews provide
helpful jump-start. I sometimes even chump on cup
kept teeth sharp. That unproductive habit came
to a screeching halt after breaking every pearly white.

Now to that locale known as the trumpeting ****
pull stilts skin. Although the unseen forces of biology
and genetics dealt me an itsy bitsy, tiny *****
(which serves as the but for fellow Apes to taunt

and tease) such anatomical feature offers little
value as the worthiness of ****** prowess.
This palm pilot sized gluteus Maximus offers one benefit.

Ease to squeeze into tight spaces without getting stuck.
This tiny ***** accompanied by a vestigial and
teeny-weensy ****** schnitzel of a phallus, which
undersized **** a doodle do doth bulge into

an erectile state within shooting distance of
coveted warm, wet and wooly private world
property of each and every woman.
A pair of skinny (flamingo like) legs (covered in
adequate hair) now completes this general character sketch.

George Washington and Abraham Lincoln
   mythologized commanders in chief
 epitomized supreme martial mien
   and vocalized special flair
talents summoned    

   from their native heart-land motif
 in Modus Operandi of bootstraps dare
acquired evanescent mythic reverence
   extant within bibliographic brief
   and closest role to God like air.

Said first and sixteenth president
   storied figurative bookends
   stood side by side
 honored on anniversary of their birth,

now renown across divers
   places far and wide
 over this one in a million (or billions)
   cosmic entities known as planet Earth

for courage and strength which forged
   that unique American sense and sensibility
   in tandem with prejudice pride
 forthwith esprit de corps touched,

   when above named
   epitomized, , eulogized,
   exemplified strapping youths
   vigorous lifestyle wrought washboard girth
   kindling psyches,

   and lit fires within homes and hearth.
These outsize personas held ephemeral dream
   where fledgling American state
   acquired sterling reputation

   wherein this country
   under aegis of Democracy
   became a winning team.
Among the legends and lore

 surrounding each of these great men 
 their stature grew more and more
 cult like benevolence these paternal figures
 United States can never ignore.

Ach'n (ache Ken) Existential Struggle...

(NOT by Bellini, Paganini, Rossini...
Eeny Meany Miney Moe - si,
nor the three stooges tee hee hee)

twill never end till...this oft writ trend
of mine will never end,
only when...mortality
ike'n no longer defend!

Thus...once again, (or...as per usual),
this poem iz a boot
ruminations about bout,
who else except this ole coot
at das receiving end ******
lifetime role, and goot

raw end of deal, sans docks side of
moon efficient intervention
(teachers never gave a hoot)
as they appeared oblivious,
how moost all classmates did loot

mine emotional account, viz
cheap trick super ***** ping coot
tees reviled, renounced,
and wreaked havoc as root
of all misfortunate previous

to mine existence,
as iced (sic culled) hood
reaper remained mute
and scythe lent,
while (cue in dolorous)

melody issued from
Mose Arts magic flute,
whereat serpent (also known
in political circles as
Sally Salamander Newt

Gingrich) charmed goaded,
and relentlessly needled
Eve with snake hushed snoot,
thenceforth viper got ramrod
rigid taut as jute

of course this a fallacy as
just smore hove my fruit
fully "FAKE" pre fabric hated
discombobulated trumpeting ill suit
head prevarications – more

offal than glute
tee us expulsion, donned
as invisible faux poetic
apparel clothing with astute
cheeky effects,  thus allowing,
enabling, and providing

adapt tub bull usage as zoot suit,
or as space age jumpsuit,
when I travel (with my cute Malamute
outsize prairie dog like fine home
companion) to the outer limits

of the twilight zone,
which groovy farout signals
detected by vodafone
and desperate plea made
to aliens to abduct me

(receiving an affirmative
digital binary tone)
similarly couched courtesy of publishers,
unlike the negative responses,

predictably forecast, no complex koan
but clear as day -
inducing a slight inward moan,
which figurative slap in face

finding yours figuratively prone,
hence...a recurring well known
fantasy regarding plucking
this chicken (198920) heart lee
moss see rolling stone.

(visit https://www.aol.com/?ncid=
crosssellusaolc00000003 - for further details)

Courtesy rare derecho
killed four people
nearly forty eight hours ago
power outage affected more than
half a million people
in mid-Atlantic states.

Residents in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
(the poet's hometown)
smack dab within swath.

The storms raced across
keystone and garden states
moving eastward at
over 80 mph at times.

Thus yours truly rendered incapacitated,
(albeit unable to access,
excel as word wizard)
to craft his trademark poetry.

How grateful (before being dead)
to write reasonable rhyme
galumphing within mine head
nsync with zeppelin comprised of lead.

Analogous giddy sensation
ascending stairway to heaven
or metaphorically kneading
figurative dough that doth leaven.

Great appreciation regarding
strapping size men/women,
whose hulking size rivals (or surpasses)
legendary Paul Bunyan,
who gingerly plucked fallen timbers
as outsize paws casually flicks

(think game giant size pick up sticks)
testing restored power outage easy
as ordinary size folks sticking toothpicks
into homemade apple pie
assessing readiness of just desserts
scrumptious piping hot pie à la mode.

Labor of love
meant abandoning taking shelter
'course donning protective suitable gear
'n trumpeting hallelujah
no matter motley crew
drenched with perspiration

imagining myself just
watching cutting crew
would find yours truly to swelter,
when veteran technicians
successfully troubleshot gridlocked
downed wires strewn helter skelter.

Despite Mother Nature's perilous whims,
whereby meteorologists issue stern warning
high severe winds risk taking innocent lives
hazardous falling limbs threaten to damage

property courtesy debris flying to and fro
hither and yon trapping unsuspected victims
wracking in my opinion impractical jokers,
(perhaps someone like me)
not necessarily strictly

being literally immobilized
more so figuratively
limiting basic activities
(think hermit administering his

necessary morning ablutions)
to daylight hours
additionally consuming comestibles
at frozen or room temperature.

Essentially western civilization
dependent upon flow of electrons
imposes quasi human *******,
especially when meteorological

or global warming necessitate
creature comfort of air conditioning
impossible mission to function otherwise
during hazy, hot, and humid dog days
blackout or brownout prospect ratchets up!

Akin to significance my eldest sister
felt toward her “*******” –
until she became a tweener
(totally tubular fuzzy bendable contrivances
analogous to an outsize pipecleaner)
my Mattie Mattel Doll meant the world
(circa mid 1960's), the whirled wide
webbed world on the horizon
with promise of much greener
virtual Oculus pastures once found
amongst Carib ******
indigenous tribes.

Any child with creative artistic bents
(minus this scribe, whose innate abilities cents
less limited me drawing stick figures, more so dense
macabre satisfactorily applying
   beard or mustache ala events
magic marker to pictured printed (faces forged into fences
of famous people popular
   within culture club), both gents
or gals, whose retouched photographs
   beggared ****** pents
sieve hair loom of men and women,
   while simultaneously rents
sing preoccupied to access
   excel lent glue, devoid of common sense
household padding material,
   and short scraps from circus tents
of yarn for do whit your self based artisans
   into trash bin of history project wents.

Even than orange ranked as the new black.

This abhor ridge gin null snippets
   red + yellow colored strands
atop kepi twas pseudo hair,
   sans manufactured eunuchs adorned head lands
with avast linkedin fingerhut dishabille curls),
    could easily construct grandstands
a similar facsimile re: globular molded,
   incorporated, glommed, errands
contrived head (vis a vis Plaster of Paris
   overcovering NON GMO
   gluten free partially hydrogenated brands
inflated balloon) to affect trademark

     globular fuzzy noggin dry as Awklands.

The simple plain plaything included
   a fitbit lifesaver size plastic ring.

Said small circular loop perfect
   to get jammed below first knuckle
of index finger affixed to a short string  
   (when pulled to extent tub buckle
of tether) activated moonfaced fixed bugeyed
   blank stare to utter garbled syllables  
  asper one who did suckle.

Despite the drabness, homliness,
   laquered pated trapped
xyst Yarmulke cheap flatness,
   I loved ragged slapped
around, and still iconic schlepped treasure
   (uber voiceless with rapt
zealous application bridging elementary
   functioning gizmo), initiating mapped
jabbering lock lipped prattling. Sometimes
   well worn action hero lapped
exhilaration, (got tossed in the air, booted
   as football, succor silently accepted flapped
sear sucker punches from robed buck
   after favorite fictitious "brother" chapped
accompanied my scrawny body at bath time) to adapt.

None the less, this adored billed idol kept me secure, especially
on rare occasions that found this contemplative, dutiful, fun
loving kid under the weather, or hospitalized for minor adenoids removal.

Oh yes, this non gendered plaything (non descript featureless
sewn seems showed zero differentiation, no matter to tell this
August, cherished, fondled kiddie piece de resistance lacked ****** identity.

Absent reproductive organs (eh, nada so significant omission)
cuz, this seemingly resistant quirky plaything, who unfairly re
ceived punishing physical indiscriminate treatment), yet still
connection omnipotent bond existed as if goofy guise happened
to be extended part of mine kempf.

Upon reflection, asper this childhood memento (nary a clue
what triggered remembrance of things past yesterday comprised
true value), an aha moment awoke to attempt to cap cha vague
essence about pretend friend designed in 1955, and based on a conceptby Mattel co-founder Elliot Handler. The character “Matty” derived from the name Mattel.

The nom de plume a concatenation of sortsderived after founders,
Harold Mattson and Elliot Handler. A brainstorm session
yielded concurrence viz the hybrid name of Matt + El (short for Elliot).

gluteus maximus left and right half moon cheek

re: byte size buttock attached via usb
  
(uniform firm behind) to this freak

with bowel movement
  
incontinence + gas filled gut evoking contortionist
  
frown stretching to lowest peak

perched upon porcelain goddess

   where elimination did jut held captive hostage
  
atop toilet seat for many a week

exertion to expel rock solid **** required utmost effort

to force jammed bowel movement free

inducing excruciating abdominal cramps really hurt

plus sharp jabbing spasms within high knee

innards rent asunder
  
obstruction as canon gun size ***** did spurt

lodged ***** matter refusing to budge from me

caused by severe constipation

   whereby prayer a waste delivered only increased

   sphincter muscle to scream

for ****** relief this mortal man faced

a worse fate than death, he would deem

since demise would allow alimentary misery to cease

versus remaining in this impasse for what might be years

unless perchance **** lubricant or special grease

would bust loose abominable
  
constriction in arrears finding me unable

   to pay rent or renew lease

best prospect of remaining stationary

   with words to wax

poetic found a glimmer of luck

when a kind wildebeest

   delivered this message via fax

to help this male in dire per situation getting

   pam purred **** unstuck with outsize mug of exlax

to help unclog ****** muck

access to get expunged to the max

but once expulsion occurs

   DO DO PLEASE DUCK!

How refreshing to experience
     a reprieve from sultry weather
when hazy, hot,
     and humid warm front
     unleashes a very short sweaty tether.

Man hat tin dar overcast skies
     hint potential rain on the way
perchance avast dastardly
     flickr ring instagram

     kickstarter linkedin shutterfly
     Taurus headed soundcloud
     skidding across celestial
     (span hushed) rink

     surprising forecasters by yowl
     ling whimsically, unexpectedly oye vay
training (laser like),
     Asian outsize dark cloud

     climatological frontispiece
     randomly making next stop Old
     Rotten Gotham's Greenwich Village
     zero wing in on

     Poor (Chuck Keys) Uruguay
neighborhood possibly confidently
     foretold by meteorologists today
pointing at map showing

     cold air mass as it doth sashay
July twenty first 2018, though
     Mother Nature defies pre
     diction pulling out all (busted) stops,

     vis a vis via "her" quay
zee bag of tricks nay
saying trained forecasters ****
hush all self importance

     also to humble those mere mortals
     getting paid a handsome buck
by anthropomorphizing viz cluck
king in tandem with duck
billed Baritone Horn
     Trumpeting "FAKE" luck

trotting out obstreperous
     Sunny Rays, who doth beam
with radiance a
     diametrically opposed extreme

over zealous call for precipitation
     instead raining one after another quanta
     bright blinding meme
outsmarting the seem

ming airtight (cat in the bag)
prediction leaving once supreme
vouchsafing without a doubt forecasters
     left holding the empty bag
     large enough tuff fit the whole team.

(revamped, retooled, and reviewed for the mad council).

Admiration and kudos to quick as
greased lightening witted language
mongers gifted with means to deflect,
stave off, or thwart venemous, sacri
legious, pompous,et cetera lethal
impacts delivered chiefly to ***
*** in ate character, degrade, ex
Cory ate, where deliberate hefty
insult bruited viz zit head via bit
ting acrimonious gloating by some

trumpet ting twelfth knight, Mar-a-
Lago dwelling, Don Juan, Cassa
nova interloper ideally to be met
and taken rite off guard with cutting,
fitting, and incriminating scythe leant
taste of bitter pill as bad medicine
measure for measure, which earns
repartee deliverer at the least (cut
ting to, the quick principled litter
a chore thieving magpie klepto

maniac maven anyway) raising
the bar, per how can eye whip up
a creative reply to ward psychic
bruises as would be confirmed
by an x-ray evidencing sharp black
Amy Lloyd Barbs lobbed my way.  
Plight reiterated and described again re
phrased as mine good humor hum
dinger mew zing ct-scan reveals
(outsize funny bone) pinpointing

tiny thesaurus sim card firmly
permanently embedded, where temple
(my Mansfield) binds as the Great
Chaim Yonkle yiddish alt pun stir Perry
Como crooning se yammo, a friendly ****
mum exchange (minus jet lag) oye vay,
boot how novel, if I could wit
ness (or personally experience) quick
lightening rod quips would come to me
rescue (supercalifragilisticexpialidocious),

but generally, honestly and indubitably,
this flustering rhymster, who with bluster
brownian movement attests and accepts
slow moving cogs and wheels of his
aging noggin normally, notoriously
and nominally NEVER nsync with
nearly top notch national scrabbling
Facebooked bountiful brigands, this
will never happen to utter trail blaze
zing, nail biting, and hair raising awe

some adage, badinage, and/or  persiflage
more likely than not, mum hindlacks
proper cerebral mechanism to dream,
and get linkedin exactly at  prime time.
An absolute beauty of a doozy, flapping
like a ******, hypothetically intimated be
totally tubularly groovy, man and find
me a bit woozy with flickr ring shutterfly
twittering wii zing hacking, joyous, and
kindling euphoria asthma sign us would

go thru roof of mouth boot opportunities
foregone to daydreaming after serious
lapse of time, yet speculatively, and in
sum re: prime tete a tete would spring up
to parry, defang, and blunt puncture of
mine  psyche (imaginatively zinging red
zinger, would be one for the record books),
sans right on cue, rapier jabbing (yet art
fully crafted), an unusually timely resip
rick cal sparring touché (leading com

petition, by my itty, bitty ditty), witty
award winning smart riposte would a
rise supremely after incidents arose from
circumstance, yet twin next opportunity
passes, the critical moment will slip,
away suspecting sanctimonious sham
rock leprachaun spiritedly skewered
lucky charms finding me wishing the
means existed to conjure an instant replay
all to often when recipient of unkind word,
taken aback sans ideal return synaptic salvo.

Innocuously incubated kindled
imperceptible dire strait
restlessness like tinder
with pinterest Deutsche agitate
barreling like a freight
train running so much
faster than an eight
track uber twittering,

rumbling, quickening and inculcate
dissension among dissolute
rabble rousers, who
do obediently initiate
rank and file will not abate,
boot re:reed out (bus) soon,
thence coalesces into ablegate
insidious encroachments

no longer patiently await...
ideal conditions to hatch
schism within parched
soil perfect for hate
mongers of democracy
breeds anarchy to facilitate
chaos, which quickly spreads
like kudzu, or wildfire Arson

Welles immediately forcing leader
of free world to abnegate,
(heard to trumpet "FORGET
THE WALL" mate),
(despite being caught in his
pink frilly underwear), to late
for Mar a Lago escape, where
formerly great wealth did

pool lightly coagulate
elite class heard faint stir of echoes,
then earsplitting clangorous louder
than an ICBM din (er bell)
rent asunder forcing
freedom of "FAKE
MEDIA" to abdicate
all the while pointing beringed

index finger to accentuate
his Taj Mahal ululation
interspersed veni, vedi,
veci stopping for spate
to coif (died in the will)
hirsute and aerate
said wind swept hairdo
pausing every now and again to snap

selfie portraits, plus
instagram loved ones to alleviate
that pompous, outsize,
and humongous ego fast deflate
ting into a shriveled up POTUS
float hissing boilerplate

hot airy premature ejaculations,
he would not capitulate
(sooner be rocketed
to Pyongyang and cell bate
good times with Kim
Jong-un to emasculate!

I now absolve myself
that aforementioned jest,
a tongue in cheek diatribe belies
my means to predict any forecast,
yet if any resemblance

of chance events
materializes between
my pablum childishness at best
there could arise fruitful market
for kitsch sheen collectors items
high as Mount Everest!

Bonafide catatonic doggedness,
nevertheless this stubborn stoic poet writ
afore and another feeble effort courtesy
exhaustive mental effort
he brewed den - brought about divine visit
analogously to solve mystery pinpointing
within suspense unveiling whodunnit.

Whereat your true
plane vanilla author's creativity
admittedly drastically did decline
bawling and crying
caterwauling putting any feline,
to shame, hence abandoned grandiose design,
cuz he suddenly contracted

(think fabricates)... what else
flesh eating bacteria unfavorable sign
finding me body stone cold supine
(courtesy brainstorm that went awry)
inducing purgatory nauseating
sensation to *****,
nope not at all feeling fine,

hence literary dream subsequently mine
ambition tanking (think
kamikaze nose diving
minus parachute life line),
sought spiritual guidance ministered
severe existential nihilist crisis
(an understatement)... zip,

absolute zero, and nein
never to witness, nor
restored vigor and vitality,
(sob... sob... sob) ha how asinine,
hence garden variety germane pine
wood coffin evidenced
resembling somber funereal yahrzeit

(/ˈyärˌtsīt,ˈyôr-/) recollecting late mother
helped beget kith and kin of mine,
than as now buzzfeeding appetites decline
possibly courtesy bloodily splattered
white laboratory coated
donned Victor Frankenstein
mister monster master's

repurposed cadaver delivers kosher eats
fancy feast grubhub groaning
outsize maître d' makes beeline,
nsync with anonymous canine,
corps speedier than any airline,
unbeknownst to yours truly posthumous
fame will inevitably yield moonshine.

Fast forward approximately
twelve hours later recuperated -
aide de camp resolved impasse with
partial writer's block slayed
attempting to continue quasi theme
i.e. avoid typing with fingers delayed,
albeit no matter unconscious

editing automatically peremptorily made
suppressing crude, fiery, ignominious tamed
loathsome offal rot earning F grade
securely unceremoniously waylaid
lurid outburst blandly diluted into staide
yawningly tedious figurative walled barricade,
when lo and behold atavistic beast erupts

fresh sortie attempts peppering enfilade
anew ideally unadulterated, unedited,
unexpurgated material ought be displayed
to allow, enable, and
provide raw emotional blackest shade
to resonate within mind
of unsuspecting reader,

who might take
objection with primitive grade
communication, and blatant
scathing writer somewhat afraid
to air unrefined sentiments
may cost popularity,
uncontested where cadre of

unseen followers thence evade
once popular rising star,
whose emergent fame
(even if only limited edition
to cyberspace) will fade,
yet methinks loosing
stream of consciousness obeyed

fealty on one metrical foot
metaphorically uncorking
deep seated primal angst laid
bare like bleached bones
existential crisis oft times
gussied up to avoid tirade,

whereby woke parlayed
gut wrenching splenetic self degrade
ding soul bearing vile eruption
considerably quieted, stoppered, tamped...
courtesy linkedin, symbiotic maid.

Ya wanna count bajillion sheep,
but tween gluteus maximus powerful
natural gas explosions during sleep
(*** suspected source) – courtesy missus
she served me lentil beans piled outsize heap

sinister been off fish shunt ploy
spouse I may no longer keep,
cuz dream house went up in flames
reduced to ashes smoldering (Uriah hit) heap
an feeble attempt made to extinguish courtesy

urination which suddenly found me awoke
moments ago groggily awakened out deep
slumber out requisite snooze,
cuz I bean dog tired exhausted fuel
driving one clunky body electric jeep

wee hours way after midnight night owl
in case ya give fig yore hot heave hoot
blasted tremendously nonstop
rendering air to smell foul
while my little chickadee evinced similar
disposition, she too did pepper her muttering

with expletives, and did growl
snarling evidenced yours truly espied scowl
unrepentant and threatened to apply dowel
well, I need not specify, "a" specific vowel
one cheeky spouse,
would find yours truly to howl

no pretty picture me bean
while slowly turning unnatural green,
henceforth rushed to emergency room
whereby team of alien specialists,
who casually did primp and preen

mistaking convincingly verdant colored
hue man as martian ready for Halloween,
and said practitioners loathe to intervene
reckoning yours truly -
with other worldly mien,

would conveniently scare bejesus
among any hooligan tween
ready and willing to cause mischief
while prowling for methamphetamine,
or other drug of choice

one motley crew member seen
dodging, evading, fording... police
eventually cornered unlike Steve McQueen
(the late actor), who escapes behind screen
of smoke unscathed unlike

formerly acquitted, alluded mean
and aforementioned hoodlum
who suffers gunshot wound
rushed to same hospital
lay disabled fugitive ruffian took lead
fired into buttucks bullet punctured

evident by derriere oozing bloodshed
as self, both us nearly dead,
asthma doppelganger wed
did in sweat upon abdomen,
now aching pain in *** spread red
hot poker radiating throbbing inside

excruciating did quickly thread
into noggin i.e. fifty shades red
dully permeated gray matter
inducing severe agony with head,
though mustered energy to scrawl

obituary envisioning said
on same page as op/ed
gallows humor sought instead
of relief courtesy synthesized drug,
thus laughter as best medicine

linkedin chowing down unsuspected bean
dish licked plate sparkling clean
mental note made to avoid
eating flatulence inducing food

prepared Das daring "frau" faux Queen,
though I certainly also enjoy keen
wah filling up growling hungry void,
and... appealing to this bonafide android
gluten free textured meals direction I lean.

Born shackled with globe sized
yoked millstone around my neck
rivaling the world Atlas shrugged,
or outsize boulder Sisyphus

eternally obliged to toil uphill
steepest mountain side
in concert with
Battlestar Galactica pièce de résistance
ear splitting discordant cacophonous din.

Simultaneously analogous twin tower
of Old Faithful geyser
Googleplex times Mariana Trench
aqueous oceanic chasm amply housing
Rhode Island sized fountainhead
constantly spewed vitriol

out subterranean mouth
scalding yours truly
with deadly skull king poison
(parenthetically), metaphorically, hyperbolically
approximates, nee aforementioned
actually an understatement

how whit sir yours truly
psyche dashed, manhandled, whipsawed
post parturition mine birth
subjected to class sic

biochemical, environmental, neurological
pummeling, oft times the cudgel
inherent, latent, salient...
genetically scripted torment.

Case in point
constitutes psychosocial (mine)
extreme introvertedness,
painfully shy reticence
exiled within zapped

writhing, wrenching, wracking
emotional, physical, spiritual isolation
plaguing mein kampf,
a worse fate than death
experiencing brutal and
nasty schooling as outcast

never feeling linkedin among peers,
nor family of origin
particularly latter years
minimally functioning just squeaking
to advance from one grade to the next

hidebound by invisible manacles
weighted heavily with severe anxiety
debilitating, paralyzing, unrelenting
panic/ anxiety attacks.

Scattershot employment track record
poor credit rating
the bane of misery
bias, discrimination, prejudice
throughout hand to mouth existence

impacted two innocent grown progeny
the eldest unforgiving,
no matter this papa coped
with demands of child raising
the missus easily overwhelmed

deferred domestic duties
birthday party arranger,
chauffeur, cook, homework helper,
summer time planner,
medical appointment scheduler...

I began crafting the following words
late morning eating me whey and curds
never able (though quite willing) ugh
for constipated excretory system to...
function optimally and make turds.

In highland manor convalescent home
ideal to buzzfeed subconscious with a
long catnap until... free animal equality
i.e. meaning declaration of indepence
encompassing all creatures great and

small, whereby each breathing, living,
cohabiting with kvetching **** or
lesbian sapien as well other organisms
gifted to roam across terra firma all
their natural unfettered existence.

Damp and cold spring weather purr fect fur mice elf
when yours truly (me oh), a stray cat in previous life,
with cheesy mouselike timidity, stoutly readily avow
outsize feline family members, experienced powwow
among fodder, when boxed in corner, I litter lee mutter
against feral general instinctual lionized in mane know

wing, (albeit audacious, ferocious, vicious...) tigress
calling me hey you Eufrates cat, chicken sh*t, getting
browbeaten meekly accepting, I brought humiliation
bowing passively giving up feebly accepting furry us
kickstarting, ripsnorting, urinating madding crowd,
nor standing proudly on all faux pas inept descience

non verbally communicated threats how sissyfuss me
best be declawed locked & linkedin and with lucky dog
effeminate mystique (er... rather mistake) born as runt
plainly evincing, categorically jackknifing, trending
embarrassing brother and sister near kin courtesy mine
unpardonable finicky behavior catnip never endowed

deserved more egregious than petty file within glorious
historical annals regarding Felis Domesticus, therefore
deeming unacceptable "fake catatonic" diagnosis allow
wing no holds barred, all barred holes la cage aux folles
assignation, designation, integration... imprisoned with

aforementioned outcast species, and/or repurposed cow
feed since unanimous conclusion no snowball chance
in hell (low kitties) decreed by none other than Morris
nsync with animated commercial starring Sylvester both
though ostracized caving into rich money deals cash cow
role their saving Grace (and private Ryan) neither well

received (more so treated) outkast within immediate family
nevertheless everywhere taxidermists experienced affection
despite catalepsis poised to strike stance, and highbrow
folks entombed themselves with selfies and roaring whisk
herd manner of nine kampf existences exemplified heyday

courtesy of each special fearless cate, whose track record
boasted untold unfortunate victims comprising killing
fields, thus wimpy creature regarding chance Matthew
Scott Harris never honored as dignified compared to how
his brethren and cistern forever appraised with to meow,

prey tell savoring flesh as tender vittles kitty chow chow,
which genetic fate automatically cost first of nine lives
(mine) lovely bones feeble, who wanted nothing more
than to curl himself in a ball and sleep blissfully,
eternally and merrily dreaming about Lady and *****
poe' wit out making sense and sensibility doth lean.

Attorney General William
Barr black marker in hand
kept promise to censor vital
details of Mueller Report
swift as Usain Bolt candidly,
grandly, lustrously, roundly

youthfully blocked out more
rapid than an elegant eland
vibrantly, regally, magically,
and gracefully skirts borderland
which favored topography
constitutes grassland or woodland,

far more pleasing to observe,
than reading adulterated brand
of aforementioned compilation,
distillation, edification, fortification
zeroing questionable activity
upon head of trumpeting brigand,

whose arrivistic, bombastic, caustic,
demonic, electric broadband
outsize ego still convinces
me, thee commander in chief
delegated one or more chargehand
perhaps while delighting as

gourmand savoring chateaubriand,
where his best buddies imagined
themselves in seventh heaven cloudland
every so often taking siesta sans repast
or golfing with grisly handicapped clubhand
non verbally communicating,

in viz sub bully taking a peas zing
cues from presidential high command,
which coterie (i.e. den of thieves)
manipulated social media with nefarious,
insidious, deleterious, et cetera
analogous to "FAKE" contraband,

maybe even milking innocent cowhand
unwittingly planting GMO electronic
bugs amidst future bovine fodder cropland
to allow, enable, and jackknife demand
that moost every eligible voter tricked

induced by virtual reality dreamland
with sinister motive for thee "Apprentice"
rule his kingdom, and expand,
realm asper Medieval days
declaring himself chieftain of fatherland
and/ or North American motherland

where naysayers guillotined
by uncontested firebrand,
who without provocation
very likely bomb into Stone Age
formerly edenic, lush, verdant
geography into flatland

rendered hostile, poisonous and uninhabitable
nonetheless radiating for miles with gangland
forced labor tilling barren, desolate, fissured
landscape erecting unsightly grand
standing room only (cause he know Shylock)

terrain (reign) vast highland
manor as poobah, and husband
to his only heiress, the former
a kooky monster from foggy bottom marshland.

November 3,2019
2:00 AM Eastern Standard Time.

Seasonal affective disorder clinical woe,
albeit depression associated,
edge of nightfall
dark shadows grow
most pronounced late
autumn and winter

outer limits of twilight zone
impinge psyche status quo
said phenomena doth
not affect this bro,
who believe me
you relished mucho

more hours without sunlight
think allegory of cave courtesy Plato
Socratic dialogue titled "The Republic,"
inferences intimating occupants
housed inside grotto
to speculate external environment,

they can never know
conjectures predicated courtesy
shadows moving to and fro,
hither and yon across subterranean walls,
albeit exaggerated sinister show
shape shifting humongous,

monstrous, riotous... silhouettes hello
kickstarting, instagramming,
flickering... torches diabolical
phantasmagoria make cameo
forked flamed tongues
evoke towering inferno

superstitions defeat braggadaccio,
no matter atheistic, cynic, stoic...
atavistic fears including vertigo
nausea, adrenaline... analogous

psyche unstrung like mama's yoyo
thankfully yours truly no
well coward as outsize claws...
plucks me to daylight
courtesy steely mettle, viz Geronimo!