Hush, don't you cry little child
your mommy will comfort you
Reality will crush you!
believe the puppet masters
they hide the truth from your sweet innocent eyes
to shelter you from the reality inside

Hush now child, dream about dancing faries
and becoming a princess
a princess bride
your Prince Charming will rescue you
from the gunshots and rapists
and thieves of hearts
drunken ******* that lie

Car crashes, gang violence
your savior will protect you!
Just pray to him
and pay your 10% in pentanence

The priest likes little boys
because he is married to god
when his animal instincts awake
You are his outlet

Go to sleep now, little one
Fuzzy dinosaurs will dance with you
and sing lullabys
while Daddy struggles with debt

Alcohol is daddy's friend
Daddy needs to escape this reality
THC in me
Daddy passes out

im hiding in all the places i promised you i would never go again
im singing the lullabys that remind me of old friends
but mostly just you
and your face, that was never blue
only on two occasions i had to see you cry
and i held you lovingly, promising i would never say goodbye
i guess i lied.
that's exactly what i did
im not going to fib
ripping out another rib as the days drag by
slowly, miserably, never by surprise

Hush little Whisper
dont you cry
Daddys gonna sing you a lullaby
and when the lullabys all said and done
Mommas gonna sing another one
and when that songs done and gone
Daddys gonna buy you a dead mockingbird
And when that mockingbird tries to sing
Daddys gonna  stab it with a blade
Then hes gonna go far far away
And leave you to fend for youself
and youll cry youself to sleep every night
and Mommas gonna **** herself with a knife
Hush little Whisper
dont you cry
not everything is at it seems
and one day its all too much
and you whisper to yourself
"Hush little Whisper
dont you cry
everythings gonna be alright

In another day, in another year, in another life."

I see the moon and the moon sees me,
And the moon sees the one that I long to see

I like to wear flowers in my hair and,
Robots around my neck.
They whisper to me stories of places I've never been,
And toxic lullabys when I can't sleep.
But they never tell me where to go,
Or what I should be doing instead.

They tell pretty lies (about me being friendly)
To unsuspecting people,
And assure them (at the very least),
I'm different.
And everyone wants to be my best friend,
Until they realize
It's not a mask, it's vanity.
I'll paint up my eyes but,
I wont paint on a smile.

So compliment my fashion sense,
But watch out for my disposition.
There's a bite to my bark that can leave scars
On places no one can even see.
I'll love you completely or,
I wont love you at all.

Just don't try to make me into something I'm not.
Because,
I'm done pretending that I'm anything else.
I'm a lovely little package with a "fragile" sticker.
But I'm wild,
Don't try to tame me.

Encased in a worrisome path
lead nowhere but the darkest cavern of my soul, you, my light, give more so of a reason to be prosperous and shed my love to a dear heart such as yours.
     The waking of a demon under skin so thick, fear and blame... factors so far and few between.
     Trance becoming nonetheless a fantasy of greater times, you, love, wrap destiny around every hardened fate in this world.
     Amongst the most deathly sins of man, fearing only everything in ones path... safety, where your heart lies.. where I sit and sing sweet lullabys for you.
     And not only a single tear shed, many full of fear, of hurt.. and many full of happiness and laughter.
     You, my muse, are the single greatest occurrence in the small, short life I will live. And for that, you must know that I love you.

I brokedown forth right into this eloquent state
smiles rub my warmth
and I melt harder
and harder
into breathing easily
easier then anything that ever exsisted
easier than the cool winds that blow
through your hair and then in between my sighs

and I sat down and held my knees together
on top of the wet grass where I use to remember
hearing the sweetest lullabys of childhood
crashing themeselves into my body
and I melt harder
and harder
into breathing more so easily

easier then the time I looked into your eyes and your london left its burning letter
and easier then the time I fully built up the
guts to walk away from the building where only the
floor had been built

and I closed my eyes
as I danced on top of the ruins the wars inside of me left behind
I threw my heart into the sky
forgetting the fear of having it fall on nothing
and then giving into something in that
old old world
of nothing

happiness persecutes everything inside of me
and I melt harder
and harder
into breathing more easily

Hope has finally ended

And pain into it’s bed once again

It’s more beautiful when the skies finally set its dim

To be reminded that pain was once more real

If ever the valley would sing lullabys

Let it sing once again

Though pain is once and will be lost

It’ll be not as painful as it is before

Sometimes it is bright to see

That even the stars would loose its light

Even birds will loose their flight

And even oceans will never to be sight

open my chest if you want to see the rod of heaven's river, while it strains in its bed,
where the white roses swim…




The hunger for beauty created canyons of longing for a quantum of moment.
Again leaving is telling me thunder as melodeon, quiver of veins and bones,
while I come to Thy meeting embarrassedly hide life's broken toy, buried in human darkness; Alas you know my pains, tears in blood percolated as black pressed grapes
While I swirled in the whirlpool of “I”-s, seeking for the spark of the of Your sight
Remained deaf for the multitude of “THEM”, and the multitude of “US”
The moon is full, the moonlight feeds me while I listen lullabys of Gabriel
To sleep the thirsty souls; the starmist flirts to my appearance as it wishes to drop its mercy, at the pain caused by human poison.
These words are arguments of the Threshold of the other side where the describable forms and the audible voices disappear, and the tongue knotted in nine knots.
The eye is stopping the sight to store its image in my consciousness.
Behold oh…”I” of the “US” while we rejoice within the White Roses and while we lick the pearly dews at dawn, and we smell the distant Neroli at dusk
While we celebrate life as cosmic minute that lasts for eternity and a day more.

She sat in the attic,
Playing with dolls made of plastic
Pretending, they were real,
Moms bruised up,
Dads drunk from his glass cup
And Pain, is all she can feel,
Her doll house is a perfect place
Doll mom doesn't cry, no bruises on her plastic face,
And doll dad doesn't hit plastic mother
Plastic baby never cries,
Fake mom sings lullabys
And the little girl is loved like no other,
There are no holes in the walls
The doll mom, doesn't lie about falls
And plastic dad is always sober,
But now dark is here
Bed time is near
And play time sadly, is over

Crooning, he sang lullabys,
She reached for the ear plugs.

Here i am laying roses at your funeral because i, i am the one that killed you. It was my gun that was pressed against your temple i counted to ten but you see it wasnt any ordinary gun....it was my lips gently pressed against yours that slowly killed you. I was slowly poisoning your body with every lip lock and hand hold.... i could see that it killed you inside to be with me, so to get rid of us you pulled the trigger and overdosed on poison. The doctors said it wasnt the medication that took your life but it was every i love you hushed into existence avoided by your parents and i dont even know why i tried because. ..itll never be the same when i look you in the eyes, when i write lullabys with your eye sockets. Day dreams with your hair folicles and forevers with your angelic smile. Im laying roses on your gravesite because i know they werent your favorite.

why do I feel so empty and why do I feel so low
is earth about to fall apart is life so through and through
have birds stopped singing lullabys has sun gone in for good
time will be the telling point
time to move to hell

will it be so better being underground
dark amongst the devils ..breathing deathly charms
heat from all souls on fire stoaking all their sins
maybe best I dont look down repeateth all my sins

time I looked into the sky and held my head up high
time to fight the fire burn ..fight it with my life
time i blessed the earthy good so rich and close to me
time i lived a brand new life
a life a time be free

Gamble -a risky action undertaken with the hope of success.

Derived from the 18th century English word gamel, meaning to pay games.


Remember the players we left behind…
The strangers who you held one night friendships with on evenings where the sun refused to shine.
Remember the fairy lights. Remember the benches outside of Bodega and the smuggled bottles of wine. People seem so much more friendly when they drink.
But hey, if it takes a glass of poison to make us all less toxic then we can pass out happy…
We’ll creep out of sobrieties bed knowing it’ll be the angriest alarm we wake to as the sun tries to steal 5 of our 40 winks the next morning.
But you know.. Gotta risk it for a chocolate biscuit.
I’ll trade in sleep at the chance I’ll be dealt a more interesting night. Break ice with strangers at hope we both share a bit of over lives.
Trying to to create a story worth telling is a gamble.

And I feel sorry for people who fall asleep at half 11. Seems like such a wasted day.
Like if life composed of options and outcomes there must be a better way. I slay the idea that each night we have 8 hours of sleep debt to pay. Because in those wee hours of the morning, those are when demons make music videos, those are when normally vacant balconies play host to the half drunk couples finding comfort in each others bodies. That’s when the parties get quiet. When the humans have intoxicated themselves into lullabys and start softly singing their lives into the ears of a friend willing to listen and I will bet you have something I wanna hear, and I bet I'll have soemthing to give back, and while you and I are here we'll keep betting. Each syllable is a chip on the table. Each sentace is an opportunity to double down. The bar will not close, the roullette will keep spinning and we'll grow a little ritcher with every new story we share.

I make bets with time and breath.
And if you spend time with me then you will to. You the few who have paid you admission fee into my conciousness. You who throw dice with me on the empty streets where street lamps themselves begin to sleep. You who I will one day come to love.
It's risky. Risky like petting stray dogs. Risky like telling your loved ones that you've been seeing demons in the mirror. Risky like getting one knee and offering your life to someone. It is risky.... but that's fine.
I will teach you how to gamble.

I was defended by the soothing tones of his voice
I can no longer hear the surrounding noise

Only the memories of cherubs
singing beautiful symphonies
In his lies
Those infections tones
Would pacify my heart
Like the sweetest of lullabys

And I could no longer hear clearly

I would selectively
Hear his words
To upease my reality

Because at night
As I would lay by his side to sleep

I could no longer hear his heart beat for me

Her name is an oceans wave
Or a tree that creaks when it sways in the wind
Its the church bells chimming together in sweet harmony from a distance
Its the singing songs of wildlife in the depths of the unknown forests

Shes a girl with brown eyes with golden specks.
Long brown hair always kept straight at the ends.
A body that everyone dreams of having, when you see her you can hear the crowd catch thier breath as she walks into the room.
All eyes on her.

She has the voice of the lullabys your mother sang to you when you were five.
She has healing hands, just as Snow White she makes everything come alive
Each footstep she takes you can see the grass grow greener and the flowers turn colors rather than black and white.

She makes sunsets look like rainstorms, and mountians look like hills.
She has laughters filled with grief and sorrow printed across her teeth.
She has this blue cloud radiating from her body, you can feel her when shes not even touching you.

Her cries are filled with dread, all the thoughts that swarm her head. Death seemed like a way out, but she couldn't bear the pain of her mother at her funeral.
Her grandparents died in the beginning of sixth grade, she said to me that one day they will come knocking on the front door saying they had a lovely trip.
She sees them in the butterflies that fly and the trees that spoke. She sees them in herself.

She has cuts on her arms and three on her thigh, i remember asking her why.
I graze them every now and then, but she doesnt seem to notice, my heart burns and breaks each time i see them.
She has eyes that sparkle but heavy bags that show her pain.
I never got an answer to my question why, just a shy smile and shake if her head.
Shes always been mysterious, never speaking the whole truth. But never confessing to a lie

She is beauty in a sunrise and she is beauty in a thunderstorm.

With flying fingernails
And black beards
I can be your rebel.
Sparkly sunshine
and hatted rain.
Shaded feet
With grass stains.
I love you dearly.
With eyes as dark as the
Evergreen bark
The ecology of us
Mixed like the oil paints
Seeping further into my rug
Burn marks
You have become my bower
The knell to my lark.
The moon strikes power
Into my deteriorating heart.
I think that ****** it up.
...wait there it goes.
O'halloran sing my lullabys
As he sinks into my pelvis and thighs
That wasn't ****** I swear
I just thought you were aware
That when you love another
*** becomes inferior
I feel you and
that is what it remains
I love you.

I saw you that day when
the end of you was the only thing in your way.
Your undulating wrinkles softened the rocks, and I caught sight
(maybe just a glimpse) of music gingerly stroking your neck,
and you were beautiful.

On the Cliffs of Moher you stood two feet calm
atop a fire you had built as a pedestal for yourself
and all your wantings.
The time was droll, playing ribbons up the backs of your knees
and as I watched you ( me, wide eyed and heart so full of wonder it hushed itself to cease to beat)
I cried.

Your stories of arms threw hyacinths to the ebbing tide,
and the breathing of the earth was left impatient.

For a moment you took to dreaming,
and your eyes filled with alabaster love.
You remembered your brother, a radiating mass of
muscle and joy; how you once vowed
to save the world together. You remembered her, your pearl,
your human nightingale with wings in her mind, how she used to steal the wind
and hold its sweet smell hostage to sing your baby lullabys.

I saw you that day.
I Saw you that day.
I saw You that day.
In your face there was a secret and I knew it to be remarkable.

The Hum of your pumping lungs set my fingertips dancing from
the Drum of your aching prayer.
The Hum of your smiling skin left me breathless and heaving through un-clenched teeth to the beat of
the Drum to your star fixed gaze.
The Hum of your words reeling through the cracks in the sky to tune the wind with
the Drum of your hands on your chest.

And in this song you moved. A manmountain in the shape of pieces.
The world lept from its axis and ran to your side. "Oh! " you cried.
"Oh, for just a lapse in the root of time. I don't care for the meaning
of it all, I only want back my rhyme!"

I was still as you dripped into the cliff. You fell
knee, knee, hands to your head and head to your feet.
In this moment you were incompletely complete.
And I saw you,
and you were beautiful.

Eyes gone dull, receding into comatose
Fingers full of dirt and hope, spinning sunflower
Power and lack thereof, the perception of those above looking down at the masses
These clashes seem to me, a supply chain theory, I want what you got, bombs pour out
Military industrial ore, we pour out the lifeblood of our children for soil
Foil snake, famished toil, ****** boils your tea
Three, one two many, send me space bound, no suit
Acute, angles I'm not seeing, the masses are fleeing, into the commonplace complacency of creatures of comfort
Watch the fort burn down, all your pretty ideas, replaced, rejected, genocides neglected
That's a bet, kid, I seek, you hid, cheese slid off the ******* jack pop snap
Lapdog lullabys, sticky morning crust in our eyes
Swatting at radioactive flies, landing on my lips and your hips
The road dips and tumbles, rumble strips and gravel licks
Rifle clicks on empty, nobody sent me, I came here on my own, mobile phone to the dome locked lengthways
Stingrays and hot water, burning protein venom
The waves are crashing down but the swell is just beginning

I'm losing my mind.
Trying to find a will to survive.
I've made it 27 years
Forcing breath
To enter and exit my lungs.
Maybe I'm someone
Destined to join the 27 club.
Morbid as ****.
Im just tired.
Beer bottles.
Whisky lullabys.
******* lines.
Shots to survive.
Pills eating away my insides.
My chest ******* aches.
Love is by far
The worst ever pain.
I'm becoming dull
And numb.
Falling down the inevitable
Rabbit hole.
I've already lost my soul.
I'm gone dude.
Black skies.
Black eyes.
No ties to my former life.
**** all of you.
*******.
I'm done.

‪after all the pain you caused i still long for you when my days are long
and my nights are longer
because i always slept better in your arms because your snores were like lullabys
and youre arms were like a swaddle
and im a new born baby once again
and youre holding me until i no longer want to cry
and even though our love was short
i have memories of your face that will last a life time
because even though youre gone
knowing that i once had you as mine brings my darkness to light
because if i want i can love you forever and still pray that you’ll think twice about saying goodbye‬
i wish we could meet again

For everyone I’ve left behind
And all the things I’ve left to find

For all the times I’ve laughed and cried
For all sweet and off-tune lullabys

For vocals lost and voices found
For plush green grass and frozen ground

For all the things that caused me fear
And all the things that keep me here

For every sight yet to be seen,
We welcome the year 2018.

omission of truth
blundering white
jagged black

tears falling
with blatant
breath

i see you
though
answering yourself

congratulations
are in order
well done

well done
seared skin
****** within
lies

even your truth
is a lie
because
you try
to conceal
who and what
you
do not deserve
to be

twisted
lies
caught like flies
in your web of
deception

one two three
how many more
are thee

a forked tongue speaks
twice
writes in triplicate
sings lullabys of deception
a hundred fold

the little lambs wool
you have pulled
so they cannot see

i pity thee

crocodile
serpent
bad wolf

liar