briano alliano performs on venus party trap




you see welcome to the trap and i had a great night at the poetry slam

where i met this man who said m6y poem was great, well, he liked it

in fact when i didn’t win it, he wanted to heckle the organisers, well, it was

fun, but i like the organisers too, but this man realiy believed in me, ya know

especially when i told him i am putting art in an exhibition

here is my first song, the poem i read at the poetry slam ,here goes

jingle bells oh buddy jingle bells

it’s christmas in july

the party is on for young and old

and presents to make us happy

jingle bells oh buddy jingle bells

it’s christmas in july

party on till next week, man

yeah, celebrate christmas in july

dashing thru the cold canberra winters day

you see i think my reindeers are in hibernation today

because the air is very cold, and it’s a great day to say

merry christmas my good friends in the month of july

jingle bells oh buddy it’s jingle bells

it’s christmas in july

the party is on for young and old

bring out the warm eggnog

and put up the christmas tree, and have santa on a stick

then you get those lollypops, and give ‘em an almighty lick

and give ‘em an almighty lick, my mate

ya see last night at the poetry slam, this bloke said i really sang the last bit with a lot of guts

and determination, and now as i left last night i saw a fight taking place, and i knew if i don’t stare

everything will be alright, and now here is my next song

i am tired, but i can’t sleep, i need to have a siesta, yeah mate yeah

i need to relax and enjoy my life, and have a soft drink yeah mate yeah

carn the swans carn the raiders carn the packers, like that man last night spoke to me for

yeah mate yeah, and now time for, here is my next song, loving friends and loving family


You see when I was young and I always was trying to be cool
I had a family who tried to stop myself from being cool, and I was
So fristrated with that, I said, no I am cool, but I wssn't cool, I wanted
To laugh at everybody and I laughed so loud that my psrents were telling me
To quiten down and this made me angry, you see I got violent and I started to rant
And rave and it took me over a long time to understand that they were treating me
Like a cool kid, but I was young and stupid and it seems like they were teasing me
And giving me a hard time, and i also said that I wanted to be cool and always go out having a good time and getting ****** as a parrot, you see, my voices were putting those thoughts
Right in my head, giving me a lot of problems, making me very very sick of being in this crazy situation, and I am glad I have this amazing loving family and good friends, to help me through any kind of situation.
You see when I try and muck with my father like a mans kid, my brother would say, don't muck with him, he's not like us, don't much with him, no he is not a young dude. Be like us, and be a young dude and be a little shy boy, you try and be oool every day, and you try and give stay up all night while everybody else is going to bed, so you can go, hey to him, but the thing about it is, that it is the fact that he is living in the past.
So then my loving family and loving friends made me feel better about how much I wanted to
Move on and live life to the fullest, you see he will laugh like a man should and then say, heh heh heh heh , i am a cool boy, I am not a little shy boy, I sit up all night, I don't go to bed, you see I am superior, but my mates call me a complete loser.
Because this man is a total and absolute ******, and it makes me absolutely crazy, and this drives me crazy, you know very crazy, but I always call it a loving family and loving friends, I don't need these friends who only like me because I sit underneath them.



here is my next song, titled mashed potato finger nail at the skate park, here goes

You see Jacki Fred Harold Stone was a very cool young dude
You see instead of going to bed with all the other kids
He wanted to go to the skate park and ride the skateboards
With his best mates down there, and it was a very weird effect
You see his fingers smelt like mashed potato and all his mates went home
And they said he was a little shy boy, and Jacki Fred Harold Stone said
I am not a little shy boy, I am a cool boy, who loves to skate
And when I have a rest the mashed potato finger nails come again
To inspire me to keep being cool here at the skate park
You see I did some very awesome tricks, and I had so much fun
But I still smelt my mashed potato finger nails, it was driving me wild
I told all the people at the skate park and they said, your not shy
In fact your the coolest dude out of your family, and none of us want you to leave
I don't care if you used to get teased by everyone at your school
And I don't care if your family teaeed you as well
You see Jacki, I think your cool, and I will never tease you, not ever
I want to sell you drugs, but you don't have to take them
Because your the boy with the mashed potato finger nails
And we'll never ever tease you, we want to be your friend
And we want nothing more than that
So come on Jacki Fred Harold Stone, show us how to skate
You see my name is Jason Lee, and this is my mate Tristan
And we'll be your only friends you will never tease you
Cause at least you come here and ride your skateboard like a cool dude
And after your finished you stay with us and have a joke around
Despite of the times you tell us, your cool, we still have problems with this deal
You see, you are the kid who has mashed potato finger nails
And I don't care at all, your like us, Jacki, your cool, and your fingers smell like a good
Dose of mashed potato, which means your very cool
here is my next song, titled as much fun as it sounds, here at the trap

You see Jacki Fred Harold Stone was a very cool young dude
You see instead of going to bed with all the other kids
He wanted to go to the skate park and ride the skateboards
With his best mates down there, and it was a very weird effect
You see his fingers smelt like mashed potato and all his mates went home
And they said he was a little shy boy, and Jacki Fred Harold Stone said
I am not a little shy boy, I am a cool boy, who loves to skate
And when I have a rest the mashed potato finger nails come again
To inspire me to keep being cool here at the skate park
You see I did some very awesome tricks, and I had so much fun
But I still smelt my mashed potato finger nails, it was driving me wild
I told all the people at the skate park and they said, your not shy
In fact your the coolest dude out of your family, and none of us want you to leave
I don't care if you used to get teased by everyone at your school
And I don't care if your family teaeed you as well
You see Jacki, I think your cool, and I will never tease you, not ever
I want to sell you drugs, but you don't have to take them
Because your the boy with the mashed potato finger nails
And we'll never ever tease you, we want to be your friend
And we want nothing more than that
So come on Jacki Fred Harold Stone, show us how to skate
You see my name is Jason Lee, and this is my mate Tristan
And we'll be your only friends you will never tease you
Cause at least you come here and ride your skateboard like a cool dude
And after your finished you stay with us and have a joke around
Despite of the times you tell us, your cool, we still have problems with this deal
You see, you are the kid who has mashed potato finger nails
And I don't care at all, your like us, Jacki, your cool, and your fingers smell like a good
Dose of mashed potato, which means your very cool
as much fun as it sounds to heckle, i still remember the american dude, but this man last night was a cool dude, buddy, cool man sam


and have you ever been a cool kid to your dad, and had people laugh at you, i felt that last night when i didn’t join in the heckle, but that man

was nice to me, saying he admires me, but i am not gay, i am bradley simmons

Bradley lived in Cowra with his mum and dad and brother Kenneth, and Kenneth was a real mans kid who plays with his friends in the street and then he goes home to watch Disneyland with his dad, and he mainly liked to watch westerns, while Bradley was certain that there is something going on in the air, and went to church with his mum.
You see this wasn't really tbe best family unit, especially when families go out to fun family events, but Bradley and Kenneth's dad was a director at kids town, which is a Buddhist drop in centre, who looke after the daily needs of under fortunate kids, and Bradley and Kenneth were told to come into these centers, when their dad organised some games to brighten their spirits, one game was spin the Buddha, where you get a spinning buddha statue and the kids get a lolly pop if the Buddha spun towards them, and even though they thought it was lame, well you can see it in their faces, Bradley thought it was cool and then said to his dad how about I plan games for them to play, like soccer out in the paddock, or even cricket, or tennis, and one of the homeless Boyd sadism I am too poor to get into Auskick, so can we play Aussie rules, and if I whip your ***, I know I can play for Richmond, and Kenneth who tried to be the cool kid there said, well if you make Richmond, it won't mean you are good, it means you play for Richmond, and Bradley told Kenneth to be nice to him, he obviously likes Richmond, and Kenneth said to Brad, why don't you shut up you stupid old ******* ****, and Bradley said, I am cool, I can turn these kids away from you.
Then Bradley said ok it's time to play a board game and little Ryan said, well what does board games have to do with helping us get houses, and Bradley said, oh no I ain't that powerful, I am just a kid, I can't give you a home, no,,I am here to make you feel that people actually care for you, because I think it would be tough for you having no home to go to and the kids listened to Bradley like he was one of the adults and being a typical jealous little brother started to get very jealous especially when e tried to make a joke, and they told him to get lost, because your brother is boosting our self esteem.
At the end of the day, Kenneth said to Bradley, you are a stupid ******* old *******, playing board games doesn't make them really feel better, what makes them feel better is taking them for walks around, but you are too stupid for that aren't you Bradley, you are too fucken shy to be like those kids friends, you see they all like me better, they just tolerate you, so go back to your bedroom and go and do some underage *******, no you aren't one of us boys, *******.
Bradley was upset with what Kenneth said and went to his bedroom and cried for hours and since then he didn't have inspiration to go back to his dads work to help the kids there, but his dad said, your brother is just jealous, and you should do this if it makes you feel happy, and his dad said, and if you find that Kenneth is proved right, just ignore them, and you can start off by ignoring Kenneth, because really, I wish every kid could have the inspiration that you bring to kids town, don't let teasing stop you for reaching your full potential, Bradley, Bradley decided his dad was right, and he kept on going to kid's town to make a difference in these children's lives, playing games and talking to one another, this was so cool the kids thought, Bradley thought he was growing up, and Kenneth who decided to come in, because he thought kids need to be kids, yes, his dad was doing a good job, but really Kenneth had what the kids really wanted, like he bought his computer and showed him the virtual world, and Bradley said no kids playing board games are fun, and computer games can wreck your eyesight, but the kids decided that Kenneth needed to be heard too, after all he is the other son of the kid's town leader, so they listened to him for a while and instead of trying to play along, Bradley felt hurt and said, ******* all, and went to his room to cry, and all the tough boys said, 'what a cry baby' and then he said his brother isn't an monster, we still like him, but Kenneth wanted to make Bradley jitter, so he now decided to play around laughing very loudly, like he was like us, man or something and Brad was in his room, crying and their dad decided that Brad needed to share his friends and said that he prefers the way Kenneth did things, Brad got really angry and started to be totally mental, by punching Kenneth like a ******, as well as threatening to **** the father that gave him a perfect life as a kid, of course he didn't **** him, but he was an angry *******, you see he was the board games king, while his brother was a computer **** kid, and Kenneth tried to not hurt Brad's feelings, even though, being a kid, he found it hard to not teaee the ****** and Bradley was put in a special school where he made a few new friends, but they weren't into playing board games or anything else with him, they wanted to teaee him, with teachers joining in, because Bradley needed to learn about how to control is temper, and someone tried to bully him, and Bradley stood up to him, and another guy was determined to tease Bradley also, but as he tried to punch Bradley put his hands on his **** and squeezed his ***** real tight, and since then everyone liked Bradley, but not to his dads liking the little cool kid to his dad was suddenly Kenneth,,and Bradley felt he was trying to tease Kenneth the same way, and see how he likes it, but all his friends like Kenneth better, and Bradley punched Kenneth in the gut and his friends thought Bradley was a **** and left the house and another girl at school was making fun of Brads parents and Brad tried to stand up to her,but she said, they never helped me,**** kids town and ******* early to bed and early to rise baby, and Bradley got really upset and from that moment the only young ones who like him were the rougher ones, who hassled Bradley for money,and Bradey became to shy to say no. Which made him a little young dude with no friends, he had family trying to contact him, but he was determined to make their lives a misery.
Bradley was an idiot, with his drinking and teasing and punching people, yes dude, he needs anger management, and he needs it now, but you must want to go, but Bradley made a pact, that he won't get help till Kenneth found a girl and got married and has kids,,so his thought of being teased all through his adult years, wasn't going to happen, and Kenneth married Bridgett Kingsley and they had Toni and Ros, yes, Bradley's little nieces, and he loved them dearly, and the bonding of Bradley and Kenneth grew fondly, while their parents had the old Brad back, he ain't married but he's happy, and that's what Counts in life.


******* that look a lot of wind singing this to you at the venus party trap and when i got home i was told to sit there little shy boy and let your school mates play air guitar, i was happy too, because of sam

at the poetry slam, thinking i had guts tom read a poem and not win, who cares, it’s a fun night out dudes

You see, you are still a little shy boy, and we are still teasing you
So, now you are working, man, come, leave us
And let us muck around, we want to smoke our bongs
As well as drink our bourbons, and drink 100 beers
Yeah we all feel cool, and don't wake up little shy boy
We want the adults to not bother us, cause we are having so much
Fun, we don't want to be adults,and don't want you to worry about us either
You see, all the men, are sitting there, trying to muck with them
Saying tease him, if you want to tease, just teaee him
But at the end of the day, man, we aren't really teasing
We are sitting up all night, being bums and young bludgers
And it's because you are such a ******
We might be making it seemed you are getting teased
But, we really want to leave you alone,,if you leave us alone
Cause, we are drug addicts,,and we want you to respect the fact
That we don't want to work, as long as you think that you aren't a young bludger
Everything will be already, but young bludgers go to bed for work
So mate, just enjoy yourself, and smoke your bongs
And have a good time, doing it
You see, I want to enjoy ourselves doing this
You are now leaving us all on our lonesome
See ya dudes

see you soon, venus party trap, and t

Now since I advised you this Sentiment
Try to apply your Fares with her Mother
And if you win, which is one Compliment
That you use to connect with her Brother
This is just some Counsel from Ben Nevis' View
Hassled to ensure you did the Right Thing
For justly understand this ardent Crew
Is no excuse for Procrastinating
In private this Agent is unaware
For him to barrage out of Deep Respect
Yet keep watch for Feathers dancing in the Air
They turn to Anvils; And hit your Retrospect.
Listen you Two. This is why you will Learn
That Family's knots tied is Best you earn.

Harried, Harassed, Hassled and Hounded-
These are the H-words I work by.

Harpies and Henchmen, Harridans and Heathens-
These are the H-folk I work with.

Hubbub and Hokum and Hurly-burly-
These are the places I do it.

Hoodlums and Hooligans, loaded with Hubris-
These are the clients I deal with.

Heartless and Horrible, Hateful and Hurtful
These are the attitudes around me.

Hopeless and Hapless, Haggard and Helpless-
This is the way I usually feel.

What happened to Happy, and Hopeful and Harmony-
These are the H-words I search for.

Hinder and Hobble, Heckle and Hamper-
These are the Hamstrings that trip me.

Heaven and Harmony, Humor and Honor-
These are the things that I strive for.

Havoc and Hades, Hurt, Hate and Hauteur-
These are the H’s that I have to conquer.

Hope, Help, and Herculean effort-
Is How I will finally get myself Home.
ljm

Thoughts.. You've been nickled and dimed...hassled and crimed...robbed at point blank range...Me too. us The 30 an under...No magic card given by Tom Joyner...We missed out on Odell's, And now get the Owells...institution tuition...constitution divison...We reap what was sown, by the rich and the grown...And given the jobs that our kids should own...Whats 13 dollars when rent is 8 bills...whats flat land when all we got is hills...Nickled and dimed...and their crying for themselevs...greedy money suckers with library shelves..Im you with jingles and bells..protest and yells..that nobody hears..but everybody fears..quaterly robbed...nickled and dimed...as if it was ok to be hassled and crimed..#weinthistogether

you see before i moved to canberra i moved to woodberry, woodberry, a place where

if you have a mental illness you are declared CRAZY, you see i was hearing voices

when my brother was joking around with me, the voices were saying, your a **** and your crazy

you don’t belong in this world, i know i belong in this world, i love life so much, but all the time

i was hearing voices saying you are a yeah mate yeah kid buddy, ya know a nerd, and you don’t belong

anywhere on earth, it was a crazy country town, you see i remember getting a taxi to school, getting bullied

in the taxi, which made the voices go completely crazy, dad kept on saying don’t be shy brian, i never liked that

but in hindsight, he was trying to get me to have fun, you see i used to in sort of a way never telling lies

oh well, that all changed when i moved to canberra, but i needed a way to calm the voices, of we don’t like you

you don’t belong in this world, i know i belong in this world, i am a lover of life, you see i remember hearing that

same bully say to my brother kidnap yourself buddy, cause you realise you are from that family, he just wished

i was aware, but all my life i have been hearing voices, maybe it was me pooling my pants, i don’t do that anymore

you see, what i don’t understand, why can’t people respect me when i say i am a nice guy, and that is what lately people can’t

respect that i wanna move on, i have had more teasing than anyone, i need a break, but as soon as i moved to canberra

the voices left my head, but when they gave me wee and locked me in the storeroom, oh well, the voices started up again

and every time i got teased by anyone, a voice came into my head saying, i might kidnap in a minute, i remember a voice saying

i am going to bash you up, i hated every negative voice that cam into my head, my mum and dad liked how i never told lies but

i needed to get on with my brother, so i played with him, but what i didn’t understand was dad was suffering with my constant yelling

and he probably went to his grave thinking what he was doing back then was wrong for me, i am reformed now, and i am on medication

there are voices in my head saying, take brian’s pension away from him he’s not like me, i said as a joke, and give me superannuation

but i at that stage, very much of a ******, i hate this other voice saying, you are the only one who is getting hassled, i never hassled

anyone like these voices are hassling me, i understand paul berenyi if he is dead hassling, because i was staring at him, i used to stare

at everyone, but i am trying to get reformed, i used to stare at my family as well, and that is why dad lost his cool, saying i don’t want to be cool, how weird is that

you see, i hated being treated like a man to a tease, because it was ******* me, i was starting to think that these voices were just voices, but outside the

charnwood inn some dude grabbed me, i struggled and ran up the stairs, you see when daniel pederson died he got inside my head to make me a big man

too uncoil for his family, but i don’t really like being a big man or a big young dude or a big kid or a different person, you see when i was at school i said

i was different, but that was just school talk, it’s hard being treated like a different person, like tonight, i was walking over to the sink to do the washing up

and i felt fatigued and i felt fatigued when i bought the garbage out and the voices were saying, you are easy to tease, i don’t want to be easy meat

i want to reform my brain enough, you see there is a movie group i went to as well as a writing group but i can’t socialise because of the buses and

my blasted voices, there was this other voice saying as i said, i want to be normal, the voice would say be like us then, i don’t want to be treated like my brother anymore

i am like one person and that is brian allan,

robbie roe wanted to read a book

and his mates were ribbing him good

and robbie said leave me alone

his mates said neh, cause robbie you are still lile us now man

robbie roe sat down and watched the news

his mates were ribbing him good

robbie said leave me alone

i want to see the news

and his mates said, they don’t care because you are still like us

robbie wanted to look at the internet

reading the wikapedia about some girl they knew

his mates ribbed him good again

and then this went on for months and months

robbie roe was worried because every time he did something relaxing

his mates ribbed him, robbioe doesn’t want to get ribbed like thus

he wants to learn about who to avoid on the street

when there are new tablets to take for various illnesses

new cars on the market for japan and when an actress has a baby

and it tells you all about christmas being about the birth of jesus christ

how he laid in the manger on christmas day in a holiday inn

it shows through history there are so many stories which sound the same

robbie watched a hospital dramas and his mates ribbed him good

because his mates wanted the world to stay ready for them and leave stuoid robbie to squirm

like the little young dude that he is

you see robbie watched casualty and they had this woman with blood all over her

and robbie said if he was her doctor he will try and figure out why the blood was there

and then operate if needs be

robbies mates just laughed at him and said you are a woosey robbie

robbie said, every time i read a good story watch the news or read the internet

my so called mates laugh and poke fun at him

what was their problem thought robbie, jealous, i guess

OUR LIKE US, BRIAN, ONE OF US


YOU SEE WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS KNOWN AS A LITTLE SHY BOY

WHO TRIED TO LIVE MY LIFE, BUT I FOUND IT HARD, BECAUSE I HAD DELLUSIONS

OF BEING TIED TO A STAKE, AND KILLED, ALL BECAUSE I WAS A TAD SHYER THAN

THE OTHER KIDS, IN FACT, I WANTED TO BE AS NICE AS PIE, BUT I HAD THESE

WEIRD PSYCHIATRICAL PARANORMAL DILLUSIONS, WHICH MADE ME **** MY FAMILY CAT

AND BE CARTED OFF TO THE PSYCH WARD, AS WELL AS GRABBING KIDS LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE

ALL OVER CANBERRA IN THE 1980s, YOU SEE I HATED PEOPLE TEASING ME, AND I THOUGHT PEOPLE

WANTED TO SAY THAT I WAS STILL BEING HASSLED, I DON’T WANNA BE HASSLED DUDES, THEY JUST

WANNA SAY, I AM HASSLING BRIAN, THAT SOUNDS SO RAD, AND DESPITE HOW MUCH HE TRIED, DAD NEVER HELPED ME

HE SEEMED TO GET CRANKY MORE THAN ANYTHING, , THAT WEIRD VOICE OF YOUR LIKE ME AND MUMMY BRIAN

AND YOUR ONE OF THE ADULTS BRIAN, IS FUCKEN DOWNGRADING, DAD THOUGHT HE WAS HELPING, BUT INSTEAD

HE DOWNGRADED ME TO BEING SHY, PLEASE, NOBODY PUSH ME DOWN TO BEING SHY, NO MATTER HOW COOL IT LOOKS

I KNOW I WAS LIKE A SHY HOOLIGAN WHEN I WAS A KID, LIKE PLAY COOL FOR LITTLE FAMILY KIDS WHEN I WAS WITH MY MATES,

I STILL COULD HAVE BEEN CURED FASTER IF DAD WASN’T AS ANGRY WITH ME, BUT HOPEFULLY DAVID AND LISA CAMPBELL

CAN CALM THE SOUL AND MAKE THEIR DAUGHTER A NORMAL KID, AND HER PREVIOUS LIFE OF MY DAD, CAN WASH DOWN

ALL OF HIS OLD FOGIE NONSENSE FROM HER SPIRIT, BUT DAD WASN’T PERFECT, MUMS NOT PERFECT, MY BROTHER ISN’T PERFECT

I AM NOT PERFECT, MY OLD SCHOOL MATES AIN’T PERFECT, EVEN IF I A LOOKING AT KIDS MOO COW AND SHIPS, I AM NOT GOING

TO HARM THE KIDS, I LIKE KIDS, BUT IN THE 80s, I WAS MORE STUPID, THAN 2013, MUMMIE DEAREST, AND I HATE BEING LOCKED

IN A PSYCH WARD WITH THE CRAZY PEOPLE, EVEN IF I HAD VISIONS I WAS A CRAZY PERSON, CAUSE I FOUGHT MY DAD AND TEASED MUM

ONCE I PUT A RUBBER SPIDER ON MUM, BUT MUM AND DAD, WERE HAVING ISSUES, WHICH MADE THEM BE TWO SHY ADULTS, THEY HELPED ME

BUT THEY WERE TWO SHY ADULTS, THE ONLY HELPING THEY DID, WAS GIVE ME A HAPPY FAMILY, BUT THEY ARE NEGATIVE ABOUT MY FUTURE

WHICH DRIVES ME CRAZY, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A JOB, IN ANOTHER CITY, BUT, MUM IS TOO HELL BENT, ON NOT FUNDING, BECAUSE SHE WANTS

ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF, I DON’T WANT THESE YOUNG DUDES TO WIN THEIR BATTLE WITH ME, I HATED THOSE YOUNG DUDES, THEY ARE GETTING

INTO MY HEAD, IN THE FORM OF MY MATE PAT, SO DAD, GO TO WORK ON THE FUTURE AS ELIZABETH CAMPBELL, LEARN DAD LEARN, BETTY

I FELT KIDNAPPED WHEN I WAS ON RISPERIDAL, WHERE THE CHIPS KEPT ME IN OLD FOGIE TERRITORY, AND MY CARER ANDREW WANTED ME CONVERTED

OVER TO HIS WAY OF THINKING, AND I POINTED OUT JOHN THE BAPTIST BEING AN EVIL MAN, HE WAS, BUT DON’T TELL MUM.

I LOVE BEING CREATIVE WITH ART AND WRITING AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINING, AND I LIKED THE COMFORTABLE LOUNGES IN NIGHTCLUBS AS I DANCED

TO SONGS LIKE JOEY FROM CONCRETE BLONDE, MY MATE DITCHED ME, I DANCED TO TINA ARENAS  I NEED YOUR BODY, AND OTHER GREAT SONGS

BUT I STILL LIKED LOOKING AT THE MOO COW AND SHIP FORMATIONS ON KIDS LEGS, BUT I LIKE KIDS

I FEEL KIDS HATE ME NOW, BECAUSE, I REPORTED KIDS TYING THEMSELVES UP ON YOUTUBR, DUDE, THAT CAN BE DANGEROUS FOR THE KID, IT CAN

ENCOURAGE HOOLIGANISM AND PHEDAPHELIA, AND I CARE A LOT MORE ABOUT KIDS SAFETY, IF ANY PHEDAPHILE OR HOOLIGAN, SEES KIDS SUFFERING

AFTER BEING ******* ON YOUTUBE, THEY WILL START TO LURE THE KIDS INTO THEI CARS,

STOP TYING YOURSELVES UP ON YOUTUBE, LITTLE DUDES, IT AIN’T COOL, AND I AM SPEAKING AS THE PRINCE OF COOL

YOU SEE THE REASON WHY I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL, DUDES, IS MENTAL HEALTH SAY I AM WELL, AND I WASN’T GETTING ANY HELP, BUT BOTH TIMES

I ACCEPTED HELP, PLEASE MENTAL HEALTH, I AM WATCHING STORIES ABOUT DELLUSIONAL BEHAVIOUR ON YOUTUBE, PLEASE DON’T FUCKEN FALSE HOPE

ESPECIALLY IF I HIT BIG TIME AGAIN, AND I WILL, I ALWAYS WANT A CASE WORKER TO KEEP ME OUT OF THE CRAZY PSYCH WARD


H       E       L       P       M       E        D        U       D      E      S

Bradley Simmons is a cool kid to his dad, and now he is happy with dad





Bradley lived in Cowra with his mum and dad and brother Kenneth, and Kenneth was a real mans kid who plays with his friends in the street and then he goes home to watch Disneyland with his dad, and he mainly liked to watch westerns, while Bradley was certain that there is something going on in the air, and went to church with his mum.
You see this wasn't really tbe best family unit, especially when families go out to fun family events, but Bradley and Kenneth's dad was a director at kids town, which is a Buddhist drop in centre, who looke after the daily needs of under fortunate kids, and Bradley and Kenneth were told to come into these centers, when their dad organised some games to brighten their spirits, one game was spin the Buddha, where you get a spinning buddha statue and the kids get a lolly pop if the Buddha spun towards them, and even though they thought it was lame, well you can see it in their faces, Bradley thought it was cool and then said to his dad how about I plan games for them to play, like soccer out in the paddock, or even cricket, or tennis, and one of the homeless Boyd sadism I am too poor to get into Auskick, so can we play Aussie rules, and if I whip your ***, I know I can play for Richmond, and Kenneth who tried to be the cool kid there said, well if you make Richmond, it won't mean you are good, it means you play for Richmond, and Bradley told Kenneth to be nice to him, he obviously likes Richmond, and Kenneth said to Brad, why don't you shut up you stupid old ******* ****, and Bradley said, I am cool, I can turn these kids away from you.
Then Bradley said ok it's time to play a board game and little Ryan said, well what does board games have to do with helping us get houses, and Bradley said, oh no I ain't that powerful, I am just a kid, I can't give you a home, no,,I am here to make you feel that people actually care for you, because I think it would be tough for you having no home to go to and the kids listened to Bradley like he was one of the adults and being a typical jealous little brother started to get very jealous especially when e tried to make a joke, and they told him to get lost, because your brother is boosting our self esteem.
At the end of the day, Kenneth said to Bradley, you are a stupid ******* old *******, playing board games doesn't make them really feel better, what makes them feel better is taking them for walks around, but you are too stupid for that aren't you Bradley, you are too fucken shy to be like those kids friends, you see they all like me better, they just tolerate you, so go back to your bedroom and go and do some underage *******, no you aren't one of us boys, *******.
Bradley was upset with what Kenneth said and went to his bedroom and cried for hours and since then he didn't have inspiration to go back to his dads work to help the kids there, but his dad said, your brother is just jealous, and you should do this if it makes you feel happy, and his dad said, and if you find that Kenneth is proved right, just ignore them, and you can start off by ignoring Kenneth, because really, I wish every kid could have the inspiration that you bring to kids town, don't let teasing stop you for reaching your full potential, Bradley, Bradley decided his dad was right, and he kept on going to kid's town to make a difference in these children's lives, playing games and talking to one another, this was so cool the kids thought, Bradley thought he was growing up, and Kenneth who decided to come in, because he thought kids need to be kids, yes, his dad was doing a good job, but really Kenneth had what the kids really wanted, like he bought his computer and showed him the virtual world, and Bradley said no kids playing board games are fun, and computer games can wreck your eyesight, but the kids decided that Kenneth needed to be heard too, after all he is the other son of the kid's town leader, so they listened to him for a while and instead of trying to play along, Bradley felt hurt and said, ******* all, and went to his room to cry, and all the tough boys said, 'what a cry baby' and then he said his brother isn't an monster, we still like him, but Kenneth wanted to make Bradley jitter, so he now decided to play around laughing very loudly, like he was like us, man or something and Brad was in his room, crying and their dad decided that Brad needed to share his friends and said that he prefers the way Kenneth did things, Brad got really angry and started to be totally mental, by punching Kenneth like a ******, as well as threatening to **** the father that gave him a perfect life as a kid, of course he didn't **** him, but he was an angry *******, you see he was the board games king, while his brother was a computer **** kid, and Kenneth tried to not hurt Brad's feelings, even though, being a kid, he found it hard to not teaee the ****** and Bradley was put in a special school where he made a few new friends, but they weren't into playing board games or anything else with him, they wanted to teaee him, with teachers joining in, because Bradley needed to learn about how to control is temper, and someone tried to bully him, and Bradley stood up to him, and another guy was determined to tease Bradley also, but as he tried to punch Bradley put his hands on his **** and squeezed his ***** real tight, and since then everyone liked Bradley, but not to his dads liking the little cool kid to his dad was suddenly Kenneth,,and Bradley felt he was trying to tease Kenneth the same way, and see how he likes it, but all his friends like Kenneth better, and Bradley punched Kenneth in the gut and his friends thought Bradley was a **** and left the house and another girl at school was making fun of Brads parents and Brad tried to stand up to her,but she said, they never helped me,**** kids town and ******* early to bed and early to rise baby, and Bradley got really upset and from that moment the only young ones who like him were the rougher ones, who hassled Bradley for money,and Bradey became to shy to say no. Which made him a little young dude with no friends, he had family trying to contact him, but he was determined to make their lives a misery.
Bradley was an idiot, with his drinking and teasing and punching people, yes dude, he needs anger management, and he needs it now, but you must want to go, but Bradley made a pact, that he won't get help till Kenneth found a girl and got married and has kids,,so his thought of being teased all through his adult years, wasn't going to happen, and Kenneth married Bridgett Kingsley and they had Toni and Ros, yes, Bradley's little nieces, and he loved them dearly, and the bonding of Bradley and Kenneth grew fondly, while their parents had the old Brad back, he ain't married but he's happy, and that's what Counts in life.

The music's best on the dark
side of town, I heard. It seemed miles
from home, after waiting in a long traffic jam
But the lights finally changed
from glamorous shining to dull neon, covered in smoke
drifting up from drifters outside the Black Cat.

By the fluorescent green sign, a cat
was painted, its fur dark
as the alley I stood in, engulfed in smoke.
The cat perched atop Miles
Davis's trumpet. Bums hassled me for change
and a few drummed on buckets, jamming

with a harmonica player, synched as jam
and peanut butter. I stepped into the Black Cat,
and from the facade saw no change.
The lights turned low, the club dark
as the alley outside. A Miles
record hovered through the smoke.

The people chattered like bees, smoking,
waiting for the players to jam.
At last, the bass player laid down a line miles
long, the drummer chinked in, and the cats
began to groove. They chilled my bones with dark
melodies, pounding through spooky chord changes.

Soon sunbeams shone through the storm, they changed
to an upbeat swing tune. The horn smoked,
hitting riffs unheard, astounding the dark
faces gazing on in awe. They jammed
endless as the ocean. The cats
started to play a popular Miles

song.  The crowd hollered in Miles'
memory as the horn steered through the changes
with the skill of the legend of the Black Cat.
The band, nearly invisible through the haze of smoke
thick in the air, strawberry jam,
soon faded to dark.

Miles Davis’s ghost flowed through the smoke,
awakened by the chord changes, grooving to the jam.
The hippest cat alive or dead, now he plays in the dark.

04:14 and the shadows are long
A boy pressed into a rail-side bench
Raises his arms to shelter himself
From the cloudless sky
He ticks off seconds with the twitch of his left knee
And the jump of his unhinging jaw
He falls
He falls nowhere
But flat, back, motionless in his seat
Hands cocooning head like a heavy day’s work
And then digging up and pressing down
Trying to rid himself of the sounds
Which splice him like glass shards
Or screaming shrapnel
And mutilate
His view of a pretty English station
And a blue steam engine
Beaming like the moon for which it was named
04:18 and he sets himself straight
Like ***** shoelaces
Or cards on the mantelpiece
Winds a bit of string
Around his wedding finger
And croons
As a man inside a toddler
Re-wired refrains
Lick his lips like soup stains
       Pack up your troubles…
                Long way to Tipperary…
        In your old kit bag…
                                 I wonder who’s…
                My heart’s right there…
                                 Kissing her now…
         Smile, smile, smile…
And from my compartment
I watch him fade like
An ink blot from a pillow case
While a boy who looks a lot like him
Turns with purposeful avoidance
And takes the opposite view
Of a pretty English station
He soothes the angry creases
Of his forehead
Of his uniform
And smiles
Smiles
Smiles
And mutters to himself
And they said it would be over by Christmas
04:14 and the shadows are long
A boy pressed into a rail-side bench
Jogs his knees
With the obligatory poppy
His mum pushed into the zip of his winter coat
Drooping like a hangnail
He is busied and hassled
By the phone in his palm
It plays an odd kind of game
Where those who die
Are allowed to come back
And press *Retry

Howling Gale of Winter moment
Blossom pink from cherry tree,
Driving snow which blankets all
Hot Summer sunset glows for me.
Parched and hassled hens in shadow
Scratch the sand to find the cool,
Starkly solid ice in blueness
White and freezing skating pool.
Green and turquoise in the sunlight
Brilliant hills of verdant shawl,
Autumn tones cascade in colour
Silently the dry leaves fall.
Surging surf parades the beaches
Roiling up the shelly sands,
Lightning strike on green pine reaches
Baking sunshine warms and tans.
Windswept on the dry Sahara
Silently the tree ferns drip,
Alpine streamlets splash in torrent
Hot and parched dry grasses flick.
Honeyed scent in orange blossom
Fills the morning air with bees,
Pollen on the air carousing
Noses twitch and often sneeze.
Globally the seasons vary
Hemispheres of colour thrown,
Glorious in shade and texture
Flavoured by aroma’s own.
All enticing motes of pleasure
Each engaging jolts of joy,
Layerings of seasonal treasure
Mother earth’s artistic ploy.

Marshalg
@theCoalface
Victoria Park Tunnel
13 April 2010

the 3 mental health conditions i have



depression, when i lose my jobs, and  when i lose my way in life, i go into a deep depression

or it could be anxiety, like like i go out, but when people treat me like one of their mob, i go into

a shell, saying, i am not a hooligan, i am a family person, and i would winge about this for days

i was thinking that other people, were trying to fight me because i am trying to be a street person

and the voice was saying you and your brother ain’t like us, you see, i always have been teased

by other poor people, because i am poor too, and i remember in the bar, i wanted to go to the bar

to have a beer, and these men wanted me to play with them, i was too young to understand, that they

were just using me, and i felt i was getting hassled, day in and day out, by the working class, it doesn’t stop

me from helping them, but i prefer to help the homeless, or disadvantaged at common ground, and

i look at common ground plans, and it could be how i visioned, when people yell at me, i go, leave me

alone, mate, i am a family person, i felt people were taking my job away from me, every day, i know now

that they weren’t, but i felt people were saying, i am sorry, your not cut out for helping us, today

i was really crazy, i implied to this man, who was doing the washing up, that i wanted to do this

he was upset, maybe, it is not depression, it’s me being anxious to help people, with my past, voices

saying don’t muck with brian, saying he is still a shy person, and despite all the good things i did

i left them, but the reason why i did, because, i was paranoid, that, i was being put in a little situation

by the people at the rainbow, like me being *******, in the craft room, i remember that note very well, i was

very uneducated about this, and i was trying to make it up to my mum after yelling at her and dad when i was young

and when i was drunk, and i wanted to be nice to everyone, but my kindness could have killed me, like i was

arguing with everyone, getting defensive so to speak, and i ate a lot of food and nearly died of obesity. well

i could say, i did die, of obesity, i am getting voices, every time i say i want to **** me when i was young, when i mean

the evil streak in me, the voice says, don’t, i liked that little guy, and he really did like that little guy, it could have

been created from the simpsons, there was a problem when i was working at the rainbow, i gave into temptation, where

i mucked with people who mucked around, but i still did my cooking and creative writing, and now, i have so many stories

to share with my youtube generation, but i was making mum and dad relax around me, and that is all i care about, and

then the crazy delusions i was getting when i killed my loving family cat, delusions were coming into my head, at first

i thought it was cool, i was hearing old mates and all my family, all gathering and the voices were great, and i tried every time

my parents got cranky, i tried to calm down, you see my parents would cry over spilt milk, literally, and then wondered why i

got cranky with them, i made a joke saying dad, don’t cry over spilt milk, dad got cranky and said, implying he was a clean person

and we should feel guilty about dropping anything on the floor, i said to dad, accidents to accure, and dad said, yeah but you need

to be more careful, and i wanted to escape my parents, because they were such projectionists in everything they did, and i found

out that leaving my house in a mess, was my way of playing cool for them, maybe in 2004, they were cleaning my house for me

before i went to hospital, but, i found mum and dad, as i said, real perfectionists, everything had to be perfect, i found it hard to

understand that my house if messy could spell eviction, but i was living in the backyard, yeah, mum and dad help, but i find a little

too much, i was doing fine when i moved in my new flat in hawker, i cleaned it every day, until i went into hospital, but dad

still wanted to be a dad, and i wanted him to be a friend, because, him and mums way wasn’t helping me, i understand where

it should help me, but it flaming didn’t, ya see i hated that little situation, where dad and mum were treating me like a 4 year old boy

so i brought back the memories for dad, saying why don’t you smoke again dad, saying, you seemed happier when you smoked

because, dad said, don’t argue with me be a BUDDHIST, i am a buddhist, but unlike christians, buddha allows a bit of teasing as

long as it is done in a peaceful, dad is dead, and now dad is betty campbell, but i want mum to one day understand this, because

i feel she is dwelling in all this, and she is worrying about me, but, i prefer the life of enjoyment, and i like community spirit

you see i liked and still like how men used to say i am doing a wonderful job, i was visioning dad turning off me, like he was

dwelling in the past, i told dad that his father is macauley culkin, but he actually is ryan clark, and mums dad is macauley culkin

i know this cause i am cronus, i liked when men said to me, keeping busy, mate, keeping out of trouble, mate

because i liked helping in the community, but mum and dad, i feel, were treating me like an old fogie, when they were complaining

about me doing volunteer work, i liked volunteering, every job was fun, mum and dad just worried about me, but in hindsight

i didn’t want them to worry, ok i never liked all that being my mums son, nor i hated being a little kid, i sit there and let us big adults

muck around, i liked how i was feeling down in the dumps, and i rang up dad and mum and we’ll doing the same thing

then i heard dad say, i am not mucking around in cool kid groups with brian, like a real **** would say, you see i was being an adult

i hated how dad tried to be like the in crowd, there is nothing wrong with that, but he looked like he was worried, i felt like saying

STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SON BRIAN, AND RELAX, i tried to get him to relax by asking him to watch the cricket

and other shows, he refused, and now dad is dead, he is betty campbell now, but dad obsessed with doing everything perfect

if ya wanna copy dad, fine, but, i want to have better people around me, ok, to have PARTIES, dudes

rather than just doing it with mum, i am saving for adelaide on nye and the carols in the domain as well in sydney

PLEASE BUDDHA, BRING DAD CLOSER TO ME, ON TV, i miss him

Where was it I left off? Oh yes, the rebellion of a slave to its master

I Believed my deceitful heart knew the way, but the way to disaster

As the days visited me and went, the colder I grew, and the more beauty fled

I scratched, I punched, I kicked, I hit the doors to try to break them open... and continuously I bled...

My eyes grew white and blind... so I could not see the destruction I was causing to myself and around me...

I was so certain that this hall was the hall where my life would unfold, where I'd find everything I could ever need...

Skin chipped away, muscles scrapped slowly down to the bitter bone...  I refused to have anything heal

I made a blood pool mess of pride at the entrance... along with a few puddles of a broken deal...

My God did not leave me though... He was there... but within spirit... but I denied it...I didn't care about my loss of purity

"Do you not have trust?" A young blonde servant whispered, kneeling to my level of insecurity...

"Why continue to make your self suffer when you can rise again?"

"And what reason would I have to rise? My desired fellowship will never amend..."

I intended to be rude to show her kindness and words were not welcome here

"You sound as if our Master is unfair... You doubt him.. you doubt his decisions, His choices, it's that clear..."

"You must be in His favor... To be so hopeful and life filled... Do you even have the slightest taste of suffering?"

Her knees laid in my pool of blood, her blue jeweled eyes stared into mine, my mind constantly puzzling

Closing those sapphires, and reopening them brought forth a vision of her past or tormenting love and tears

" Foolish girl... You're selfish to believe you are alone in this feeling... I was ONCE lock in your cell... Trapped by fear"

"And there are more down another hall who would know that pain all too well... Please... arise and come with me..."

"Why?.... What's the point when I have already fallen and failed and there is no possible better beauty..."

"They can answer your doubts and questions since they have had the same shoes..."

".... but I'm too blinded to even see my self... all I see is strangely you.." I tried to look down... but pain wouldn't allow me to move

"Then I guess you have no choice but to trust me... Do you think you can treat your wounds if you can't even see your own body?"

Anger irrupted inside of me... Only because I know this Blonde was right. So with her guiding hand, I rose to my feet

My soul screaming and shouting... Begging to rebell... but how could I? My body was dying and in defeat...

One warm white skinned arm wrapped around my brittle waist to guide me to the other side of the castle

A trail of blood footprints followed behind me... As I felt the connection between my flesh and the beaten door hassled

Trying to carefully slip away... I could feel the strength in her arm... there was no escape

So off me and this Blonde went... Leaving behind the hall that I want and also, or so I thought, the Hall God had planned and shaped...

Grown askew
Patched a few
Pricked by thistles
Thick in vine
Crawling out to see the light
Shivers at the break of night
Torn and hassled

Burnt, burnt

Wick is silent,
Witness none.
Crying out,
The deed is done.

Cold and conscious, lying still
Breathe in, breathe in.
Wisps that link the frozen ****
Deep and snowy candid gazes
Bursting flames,
Revealed in traces.
Chilled, chalk cold white touch
Remnants of  the old one's gruff.

THE LIFE OF THE ALLAN’S IN WOODBERRY




YA SEE I WENT TO CHURCH, AND MY MUM USED TO BOUNCE ME AROUND

TO SAY, WE BOUNCED YOU ON OUR BACKS BACK THEN

MY BROTHER WAS A BOY, WHO WAS OUT TA HAVE FUN

YEAH I WASN’T ISOLATED, NO, I WASN’T OH NO, I USED TO CRACK JOKES

CAUSE WE ARE A TELEVISION LOVING FAMILY

YA SEE ME AND MY BROTHER BOTH HAD FONZIE JACKETS

AND I HAD AN IMAGINATION TO SAY FONZIE GOES INTO DISGUISE

MY BROTHER SAID FONZIE DOESN’T HAVE A DISGUISE

AND DAD SAID, THIS FONZIE DOES, BACK THEN

I WASN’T A FRIENDS BOY AS SUCH, BUT I ENJOYED LIFE THOUGH

I ALSO TOLD MY FAMILY THAT WITH MY RADIO, I WAS TALKING TO DALE BUGGINS

THE MOTORCYCLE STUNT MAN, AND MY BROTHER SAID, NO YOUR NOT


I SAID, I AM KENNY EVERETT, BUT MY BROTHER WANTED TO BE A MANS KID

BUT I HAD DREAMS TO BE FAMOUS, I THOUGHT I WAS PLAYING MUSIC IN MY DREAMS,

I WAS THE ROCKER JIMMY BARNES, AND THE JIMMY BARNES YOU SEE

IS THE FAMILY LOVING JIMMY BARNES, AND I DRANK A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH ON STAGE

I REMEMBER ALL THE TEASING THAT ME AND MY BROTHER DID TOGETHER

IN HINDSIGHT, JUST FUN TEASING, LIKE NORMAL KIDS DO

MY BROTHER WATCHED COWBOYS AND INDIANS

AND I WENT TO CHURCH WITH MY MUMMY, CAUSE I LIKED THE THEORY BEHIND RELIGION

BY KEEPING PEOPLE WITH THE HEAR AND NOW

BUT I GREW TO HATE RELIGION WITH PHEADPHILE PRIESTS,

AND IF I KNEW MORE ABOUT THAT, DUDES, I WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MY CRIME

YA KNOW I HATE TERRORIST ATTACKS AND STUPID CULTS SAYING GOD SAID THIS

AND MOHAMMAD SAID THAT, I WISH THE WORLD WOULD END RELIGION

BUDDHISM IS A RESPECTFUL RELIGION, I AM LEARNING, HOW TO RESPECT WITH VOICES OF DESTRUCTION

I WANT TO SAVE THE WORLD

AND EVERY TIME I WATCH YOUNG GUYS ON AUSTRALIA’S GOT TALENT

I SEE MY BROTHER IN THEM, MY BROTHERS TALENT, INSPIRED ME

TO BRING MY IMAGINATION OUT THERE, I AM NO WOOSEY

I KNOW HOW TO USE A COMPUTER

I KNOW HOW TO WRITE A STORY

I REMEMBER MY BROTHER JOKING, SAYING MY BRAIN BEING CHOPPED OFF

WE WENT TO THE SHOW AND BOUGHT SHOW BAGS

WE WENT ON A LOT OF RIDES

AND WE ATE FAIRY FLOSS, OH YEAH

AND EATING DAGWOOD DOGS

OUR FAMILY WERE A HAPPY FAMILY GOING TO THE BEACH

WE HAD EARLY MORNING SWIMS

DAD AND BOUNCED ME AROUND ON THEIR BACKS

ME AND MY BROTHER TEASED ONE ANOTHER, IT WAS COOL

I WANTED TO WATCH MUSIC SHOWS ON TELEVISION

MY BROTHER WANTED TO WATCH BANABA SPLITS

SO MUM AND DAD BOTH PUT A TV IN OUR ROOMS

MY BROTHER WAS GIVEN A COOL KID CREDIT FROM THE COSMOS

TO PICK UP WAGGA TV, AND I DIDN’T, SO I WATCHED IT WITH MY BROTHER

MAYBE MY BROTHER DID EXACTLY WHAT THE COSMOS WANTED, AND I DIDN’T

I HASSLED MY DAD, AND MADE THE COSMOS VERY ANGRY WITH ME

WE WALKED AROUND PRINCES PARK IN CARLTON AND THE MCG

THE PEOPLE WERE NICER IN CARLTON RATHER THAN THE SNOBS AT THE MCG

AND WE WENT TO KIAMA, AND HAD A WOW OF A TIME THERE

AND WENT TO VISIT NANNY AND GRANNY IN NEWCASTLE AND MAITLAND

AND I SANG SONGS WITH MY COUSINS, REBECCA DAVID AND MICHEAL

WHICH TURNED THE ADULTS HEADS, IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

DAD AND SUE WERE TWO SCHOOL TEACHERS TALKING ABOUT HOW TO DISCIPLINE CHILDREN TOGETHER

I WAS COOL, BUT I WANTED TO SIT UP AND WATCH TV

WITH THAT VOICE, GO TO BED BRIAN, EVEN ADULTS OR YOUNG DUDES GO TO BED

BUT I AM A PARTY DUDE WHO LOVES WATCHING TV, AND NOW YOUTUBE

i am a little cool kid looking at my little thumbs

you see i might look timid but i ain’t that dumb

you see i hate people trying to rob me, i am terrified of that

you see if someone hassled me on the street

i will be naturally scared oh yeah

i don’t like trusting people because they scrub me off

you see my little thumbs are going eeeeee like the fonz

maybe i was teasing my father thinking that is what family people do

i really like my father because he protected me oh yeah

i was scared of dogs and it drove my brother mad

how i never passed the dog, even if it can’t jump over the fence

and when i tied myself up because i was scared of being kidnapped

i know i was big but i don’t want people to want to fight me

when a kid said i was his mob and i tied myself up on family

but i ain’t into being kidnapped because it is horrible ya see

i was a little cool kid, never told a lie

that was because i wanted to hold my hand on the pie

you see i asked a man to kidnap me and i stopped cars

to get a ride, to nowhere in particular just so i can feel i have been taken

but my little thumbs and little fingers

sit around the coke oh yeah

i have always watch cool shows dudes like you can’t do that on television and the young ones

and neighbours yeah

and i watched a lot of movies and had popcorn too

i went to Jamison water slide to swim with the kids

and then i go to the belconnen mall and have a puffin donut yeah mate yeah

but if banyone who fought me i would try and say, i don’t believe in violence

cause the world ain’t ready for my eternity things

i know just one thing, fighting doesn’t solve anything

you could win one battle and they come and rob your house

and you look at the ship marks on your legs and then i will shy right up

i know i like being safe in my own little home

drinking a coke saying with my teeth clenched,i am a little cool kid

because i had lyle as a friend, i tried to be a cool kid

flashing my little thumbs up and down

that is how i was a little teenager

I know that you are well
drill educated,
but my love don't need
to pass out any test ,
your degrees must be
higher thn me ;
and I spread my knowledge
in free .
If you feel that
by this knowledge
you deserve to judge
the arrogance ,
It's sign that you're
so far from humbleness .
I care for your happiness ,
you should Do the same ;
in return of my obsess .
You don't deserve
my memories in your chest
my image in your head,
your rudeness taking me
towards my death .
I know you're vexed ,
annoyed or may be hassled
from Me ,
I.know you're full of guilt
of giving me more chances ,
I know , I do that such things
that you hate
does not mean
I am illiterate ,
but if you really think ,
I APPRECIATE .

The List:
carrot, eggplant, arbi,
capsicum, green peas -
press one for more options -
apples, new list apps
applesauce and ketchup
not Heinz but the cheaper one,
a new pressure cooker because the whistle doesn’t work
And with each tweak it tizzles out more,
theek nahi hai, yaar  
no matter how many times you take it in,
it’s just jugaad again,
a permanent temporary fix,
so we need a new one, stainless
steel and big, bara
to cook all of your dreams.
grand total rages against your wallet,
paper thin but it’s digital,
anyway,
your eyes glaze, blaze
as the bag boy, too tired, too hassled,
too underpaid squishes the eggs
beneath the cooker
the shells quake in your eardrums
the smell of something rotten
beneath all those discounts.

YOU SEE LAST NIGHT I WENT UP TO SPACE

TO THROW METHANE ALL OVER DAD

TO GET RID OF HIS IKD FOGIE, MAN

AND I SAW MY OLD SCHOOL MATES

WHO DECIDED TO THROW METHANE ALL OVER ME

TO GET RID OF MY JITTERING OLD FOGIE

MY MATES SAID, IF YA LIKE YOUTUBE BRIAN

GO ON YOUTUBE, NO SKIN OFF MY MY NOSE

JUST DON’T FIGHT YA HEAD, DUDE

I KNOW IT;S FUN TO TOSS METHANE ALL OVER DAD TO IMPROVE HIS NEXT LIFE

BUT WE NEED TO GET RID OF YOUR SHY YOUNG DUDE, BRIAN

ESPECIALLY IS YA LOVE YOUTUBE, AND YOU WANNA HAVE SOME FUN

YA NEED TO GET RID OF THAT ALIEN THAT IS CAPTURING YOUR FEET

YOU SEE MY MATES ARE SITTING IN THEIR CHAIRS

THINKING THEYVHAVE THE PERFECT JOB

THEY WANT TO AVOID BEING LIKE DAD, THEIR WEIRD

I HATE THESE MATES, THEY ARE ****** HOOLIGANS

I LIKE THEIR FANILY PERSON, BUT MY COOL KID DOESN’T LIKE THEIR SHY YOUNG DUDE

THERE ARE VOICES SAYING YOUR FATHER ISN’T AROUND ANYMORE ANYMORE, BRIAN

OR YOUR BROTHER ISN’T AROUND ANYMORE BRIAN

I SAY TO THEM, DUDES, I AM STILL AROUND, I AM COOL MAN

YA SEE, SOMETIMES I AM FIGHTING MY DEMONS

LIKE BY SAYING, I  WANT TO BEAT THIS YOUR STILL A YOUNG DUDE VOICE

BUT I CAN’T STAND GETTING HASSLED, I SAY TO MY OLD MATES WHEN THEY SAY

I DON’T WANT TO BE COOL, I SAY, WELL, DON’T BE COOL, SIT THERE BEING MY DADDY

CAUSE THAT IS MY LITTLE GAME, TO TAKE YOUR HOOLIGAN AWAY

AND PUT YOUR LITTLE COOL KID TO A TEASE BACK INTO YA

AND WHEN I SAY ANYTHING TO YA, YOU WILL SAY, I LIKE GOING TO BED WITH YA

YOU ARE A **** CHICK BRIAN, THIS OLD GUY SAYS

IM TELL HIM, THAT HE IS STUPID, BUT HE REFUSES TO LISTEN

CAUSE HE WANTS TO HASSLE OR TEASE ME, I CAN’T HANDLE THIS

I AM DOING MY TAPESTRY, WHILE YOU ARE SITTING THERE SMILING AT ME, LIKE A LITTLE TEASING KID DOES

YOU ARE TELLING ME, I WAS TOO SHY TO BE LIKE US, BUDDY

CAUSE, I WANT YOU TO TRY AND BE LIKE ME NOW, BRIANY

YOUR NOW, MY LITTLE BRIANY, YOUR DADS DEAD, YOUR NOT YA FAMILY’S LITTLE BRIANY NO MORE, YOUR MINE, ALL MINE

YOU SEE HE WANTS TO TREAT ME LIKE A HOOLIGAN, LIKE THE LITTLE TINY COOL KID, THAT HE IS

I AM A PERSON, WHO ENJOYS LIFE, I WANT YOU TO DO A LITTLE DANCE FOR US, PATTY

CAUSE, YOU PAT, ARE A HOOLIGAN, I AM A FANILY PERSON, WHO WANTS TO P A R T Y DUDES

YA SEE EVERY TIME  I ACT COOL, LIKE ACTING COOL, SLEEPING ON THE COUCH

MY MATE JUMPS INTO BED WITH ME, LIKE HE WAS GAY OR SOMETHING

CAUSE HE IS A GAY *******, I CAN’T STAND GAY MOTHER *******

TREATING ME LIKE A CHICK, I WAS BORN A GUY, THIS MATE, IS A HORRIBLE OLD FOGIE’S KID

AND HE IS AN OLD FOGIE’S KID AS WELL AS A DADDY’S BOY, BUT I LIKED HIM FOR THAT

HE SHOULDN’T WORRY ABOUT THAT, I KNOW I WAS A LITTLE COOL KID TO ALL THE FAMILIES WHEN I WAS YOUNG

AND I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS A LITTLE COOL KID TO ALL THE FAMILIES

I AM A COOL KID WHE I FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH

BUT PATS TIPS 24 KEGS OF METHANE ON ME, SAYI NG WE;RE TRYING TO RID YOUR OLD FOGIE

CAUSE HE AIN’T A DADDY’S BOY

BUT I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE A DADDY’S BOY, CAUSE HIS DAD WAS LAZY

MY DAD ON ON THE OTHER HAND, WAS A WALKER, AND A SWIMMER, AND A VERY SOCIAL PERSON

I WALK FOR THE SAME REASON DAD DID, TO KEEP MYSELF REGULAR AND FIT

I CAN UNDERSTAND MY MATE DOESN’T WANNA BE LIKE HIS DAD, HE IS LAZY

MY DAD WOULD HELP A LOT OF KIDS, AND ALSO DIGS THE WEEDS UP BETWEEN THE CRACKS

AND I KNOW, I AM NOT AS MOTIVATED AS HIM, BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE LAZY

I LIKE DOING THINGS CREATIVE, CAUSE MY MATE, IS A JEALOUS OLD ****

YA SEE, I KNOW HOW TO GET THE VOICES OUT OF MY HEAD

BY MAKING THIS VOICE JITTER, I HATE THIS MATE

CAUSE I THOUGHT, THAT CANBERRA UNDERSTOOD I LIKE EXERCISING MY CREATIVE DUTY OF THIS EARTH

AND THAT IS WHAT I AM ABOUT

The oppressed

It was twilight mist hung over the valley when I saw the big horse
on a knoll was a warrior, a charger, looking toward the east.
I mounted, and we flew to the land of hatred, the mount neighed
stamped its hooves ready for battle.
When the soldiers, who're moral had become rancid, saw us two,
they throw weaponry away fled to the silent fortification and wailed
in terror,  for the first time in 70 years there was peace.

The store- keeper soul, of the enemy of concord, wasn't happy there
were murmurs in the ranks, they had wanted a higher percentage.
I was standing by a yellow sandstone rock, dreaming the impossible,
it is the only future the hassled people have, for now, but are patient
and will never leave their beloved land

being hassled by the local drug dealers

and downtown shows- ***** fights

from drunken bozo’s

escape never no never escape

escape from downtown at night

people go crazy

I go crazy in a midnight bar with

others that surround me

I feel like throwing the chair at the window

the beer is not working

bars and clubs and people and city’s and buildings

take em’ all down

we don’t need them

we need quiet and peace sometimes

some never get quiet and peace until death comes over

I feel for them

I'm haunting myself
I leave strange notes carved deep
To await me when i wake
In a vain hope
they will evoke some meaning for my sake
The scene that greets me the next day
Is alien and weird
I don't recognise myself
It is just as i feared
So i haunt myself
When the penny drops at midnight
and the demi-gods are in sight
I'll leave a reminder
I hope to find
In the rising of dawn
But when i'm reborn
with a yawn
I find nothing but questions
Dark reflections
In a puddle of beer
and stark rejection
I muddle to clear the rubble and troublesome struggles i near
in my direction
So i haunt myself
I barely remember writing
Never remember feeling
and as soon as i get close to whats real then I turn away reeling
I figure it out every night
But drunk eyes give short sight
and the brain rotten
so as soon as i strain to recall the next day it's forgotten
Amnesia is pleasing when the reason I'm feeling this daemonic screaming is cos it feels as real as the ceiling
Then it subsides for a second
or a minute i reckon
Before the darkness beckons once more
I'm haunting myself
and unsure
I'm scared of the person
I was the night before
I'm host to a ghost
that revels in the terrible things
that cost me the most
Battling with the shadow it casts
hassled by the past like tassels on a cat
Me and the fiend in the glass staring back
I'm haunting myself

being hassled by the local drug dealers

and downtown shows- ***** fights

from drunken bozo’s

escape never no never escape

escape from downtown at night

people go crazy

I go crazy in a midnight bar with

others that surround me

I feel like throwing the chair at the window

the beer is not working

bars and clubs and people and city’s and buildings

take em’ all down

we don’t need them

we need quiet and peace sometimes

some never get quiet and peace until death comes over

I feel for them

You see I was looking for beautiful woman to snuggle up with but nobody wanted to be with me, no matter how hard I tried I could never get the perfect woman, so I decided to
Make up a whole woman out of my mind, and everything turned out well until it became time for the woman to meet the parents
And this was the hard bit
Because I didn't want to bring a new woman in forcing her to pretend to be by lover because
Things could get ****** weird
And at that moment in time I was too shy to find the perfect woman and one guy told me
If you want a woman to keep for your very own join an internet group, you won't be hassled or anything because most of them
Just want companions and they can't find companions in anyone they see around them
And I said how am I going to do that because nobody wanted to be my companion
I am a regular guy
I like having fun
And I like sports
And partying to cool music
It's just that I like my own style
Of partying
I don't want people to gatecrash it
I also like doing art
And I know there is a woman out there for me
But I find it hard because I don't
Want any hassles
So I find my made up woman is better even if I could appear a tad shy to try something that
You heard could  be dangerous
At least the made up woman doesn't judge you
And doesn't make fun of you

D.T.:
Why does everybody
Always want to see
My tax returns?
If I could have a secret,
It really ought to be
My tax returns.
Inflating values to get your loans:
There is really nothing to it.
Deflating values to lower taxes:
Doesn’t everybody do it?

Why do prosecutors
Want to have in hand
My tax returns?
I don’t think it’s fair
That they can all demand
My tax returns.
When you’re rich, doesn’t that mean
You should get a little break?
I’m in trouble mainly because
I give far less than I take.

I’m being hassled
‘Cause I want to hide
My tax returns.
Judges are stupid
To say I must provide
My tax returns.
If they say I committed fraud,
I’ll say that’s just fake news.
If they try to make me talk,
I will simply refuse!

I know that my fans
Don’t give a hoot about
My tax returns.
I can cheat and they’ll say that’s okay.
Winning means having all the right tools
To maneuver your way around the rules.
I’m *******
Because I have to show
MY TAX RETURNS!

-by Bob B (2-26-21)

Its two thirty a.m.
or maybe later,
as she lays there
on the outer limits
of the small town
gas station parking lot
just off the highway exit,
trying to sleep as safely
as she is able.

Couldn’t be
more than
twenty-three
with a fully loaded bike,
and body tightly curled
under the cover
of her safety vest
of bright colors.

She smothers herself
under bright streetlights
cause at this time of night
or morning the lights
offer some limited sense
of security.

A concerned security guard
tries to wake her,
mistaking a mam for sir
drops a bottle of Gatorade
for her to drink later that day
and a sandwich.

He tells her
the gas station attendant
called the police.
Then to ease
his concerns
passes a couple loose ones,
leaving when he is done
getting a short explanation
of where she is coming from
and where she is going.

This is where the narrator’s
lines end but leaves him
wondering miles down the highway
if the police hassled her
or left her undisturbed,
so she could get
a few more hours of rest
before the hot day
forced this girl
back on the frontage roads.

hi dudes



today i went to a healthy eating class and they said, that i have been eating unhealthy

well, i have been drinking lots of coca cola and lots of strawberry milk, ya know large bottle

i have been eating loads of chocolates and chocolate desserts, but i do have salad with

steak with mushroom butter, oh how tasty as, you see i need to go for more walks and cut down

on what i eat, so i can lose weight, even if your feet are sore, you still have to walk, but i haven’t been

walking all the time, i just let my fat pile up, so what i learnt, if i can get off the couch more, and

go for a walk and stop eating chocolates and chips and desserts and coca cola, and this is what

i will do, every time i feel like eating a lot, i will go for a walk, even if it kills me, you see i met a girl

not mentioning names who fights her body when she feels like eating junk food, and i feel inspirited

by that, you see, i might fight my legs being so tired, and go for a walk, because if you look at it

it won’t **** me, because, back in the 1990s, i was really fat, fatter than i am now, and i walked from

page to hawker and page to florey and page to the mall, and i didn’t know it at first, but i lost a lot of weight

you see i ain’t ready to die yet, i have a lot of things to do, but instead of moping around, i am going to do

something about it, it might look like i am living in the past, but i am not, i am going to try and keep my walking

up every time i feel like going to the shop to buy chocolates and strawberry milk and desserts or coke

even if my legs are really tired, i don’t sit down, i will just sweat it out, i haven’t been doing that lately but

even if i don’t inspire people, i still want to push myself, so i can look young and feel good about myself

you see i was running and mum was saying that, the medication was leaving me through sweat, well maybe it did

but i was healthy, well in my body, because when i was running, i was yelling at my voices, which gave passers by

the point i was being hassled, but i was running away from my voices, but i really want to return to that healthy weight

again, so, when i feel like buying strawberry milk and chocolate, etc etc, i will go for a walk, sometimes i could walk at 7.30 pm

after my television shows, because i will be healthy again, and maybe i can become involved in a lot more cool stuff, because

i don’t want to die of diabetes, i just like strawberry milk, and besides which, i haven’t got much energy to walk or do anything

but i am going to fight my body, make sure i go for at least two walks a day, but i don’t want to become obsessed with it because

obsession isn’t quite good, when i was running, i was shafted off to hospital,(psych ward), on a night where i was being tortured by my mind

to go down to hawker shops steal a coke and then drop $2.00 on the ground, to help the poor people doing it tough, but i didn’t do that

actually i went to the psych ward where i was told that i wasn’t helping in there, mind you, i tried, but i wasn’t, and i want to go for more walks around

the suburb of hawker canberra, and occasionally around the lakes in canberra, and stop drinking coke and strawberry milk and stop eating chocolates,

well i might get myself to an healthy weight, mind you if i relax and do my art, my legs shouldn’t be tired next time i go for a walk

i know, this feels like bullying, but it’s not, it’s just trying to get my body back to the 2013 weight, and i need to keep taking my medication

i should pretty cool, dude

My graduation was a smashing success and my diploma looks good on my wall. Now I have to wake up when ever my boss decides to call. Sleeping in is not an option, I am always on the clock. I wanted to be on my own, now I wish I could go back to school. I studied for 4 years and only partied a little. I thought it was only 9 to 5 but its more like daylight to the next sunrise. I never see my friends anymore, they have their own lives. My old roommate has twins and has forgotten what it is to sleep. I am not far behind because I work just to eat. So when I do get a day off, my parents want me to stop by. My mother has a dozen errands for me and my dad wants me to mow the lawn. I think I will just go back to work, at least I get paid for being hassled there. Who new life would be so hard, oh wait I must have missed that class. Welcome to reality my dad once said, yeah pop its a real blast.

Can you imagine what it feels like
To live in fear at night
And even in the daylight
Worried about getting hassled or shot
By local or state cops
Just cause you got
A brown pigment in your skin

Darting about in the water of a stream, following cool water into a vast deep lake, swimming in a vast school or exploring the secrets of a deep ocean, oh to be a fish who only needs to swim. I would lose all of my fear of water and jump for joy above the waves. I would hide under a cool rock and sit while the water rushes by me. I would have a simple life uncomplicated by the things that men and women are hassled with. I could spend a day exploring an underwater cave seeing what treasure a pirate might have left behind only to flick the glistening gold with my tail because it is worthless to me. My journey would be fascinating each day if I could be a fish, what fun that would be.

We came down to a pond-
the stem of the **** was bleached
but brazen and bold.
                                   Chidden about the air
was a peppering fury of care,
and a wavering strand of gold, but darker and darker
(what tantrums the landscape threw!)
by the dangerous edge of things, we shouted it out. We’re through!
Tears grew.
                  We spoke
in that murderous murmur that even the sedge
refuses to voice when choked and hassled
by hustling wind blown over, its edge,
we spoke –
                    but only wild birds awoke to our “haven”
of heaven-hell-roped.

As I looked outside my window
While trees and poles went whirring past
The train I was on seemed to to slow down
As I saw people walking fast..
The children though were having their moments
As they saw everyone scoot and scurry,
They probably wondered why on earth
Were all these people in such a hurry!
They peered at the long tail of wagons
And thought of it as a huge snake
And when mother hassled them to make it quick
They pretended to walk fast for her sake..
I couldn't but notice their amused look
Though it had a tinge of fear
Maybe the thought of entering this snake
And sitting on it made them cling on to mother dear!
Getting onboard was one big fight
With everyone getting at it at once
The little people were at their wits' end
As they struggled to hold on to their guns.
I wondered how they would manage to board
The leap of faith would they have taken ?
All that agony , fear and pain
Just for a ****** seat forsaken !?
Just then I caught sight of them
Stepping inside with a deep sigh
Just as they looked around in a haze
I caught them in the eye.
I signalled them to come and sit
Across from where I sat
They took my offer and jumped at it
Without an eyelid bat
Suddenly they realized it was not what they thought
The great  big monster to be
And just like me, the whirring trees and poles
They too began to see....

I am not an alcoholic
I just want to drink
But everybody is pushing me not to drink
I know that I said I was an alcoholic
But I didn’t want to be as evil as I looked
But the natural fact is I am not like
Those other alcoholics
Because they fight I don’t fight
Because I am a nice person
I just was trying to express myself
But people kept wondering what is wrong
With me
I was trying to say I am fine
And there was nothing wrong with me
But I fought my dad
Why not, he believed in strong discipline
That I didn’t like it
I loved to party with the guys
Over at Belconnen high school
And going to pubs
And playing pool and dancing to all the
Greatest songs that I grew up liking
I was nothing like my fucken dad
I know he was nice but
I just didn’t understand why he hated
Me being like my school friends
Which I liked because they respected me
And drank with me but one stole from me
But mate I cut down because I wanted him to leave me alone and not because I was an alcoholic
You see I loved drinking with some friends
They made me feel cool
But what about the friends who rob from me
Who call me Woosey
Who try and run me down
Who try and bash me up in the club
Who tease me as they walk past me
Sitting in the pub
I just wanted to party
Get down and boogie
But everybody thinks they were in the right
But I was alright
I was fine
I know I was a tad violent
But that wasn’t the alcohol
That was other people
I gave up alcohol and tried Coca Cola and chocolate and it made me hypoactive
And I could drink it at family events
But I should’ve stuck with beer
Because of the toothaches
And being judged for doing that
I ain’t an alcoholic
I am a nice man who wants a drink from time to time
I am only having a champagne to toast my good times at art
But I am not an alcoholic
It is other people who hassled me
Over nothing that is important
I am Brian Allan and I ain’t an alcoholic
It is just other people hassling me
How would you feel if you felt you couldn’t explain yourself to people you love
About who is to blame the alcohol or the
People
The people is my vote
They just wouldn’t leave me alone
Drinking was my friend
Not like other people
I was being teased it was horrible
Woosey being run down by a car
And being yelled at of being nice to a kid
Laughed at inside a club
Money stolen by stretching it out
I HATED IT ALL
I am no alcohol
It is those people who need to change not me
I couldn’t even my mum saying I wasn’t like happy drunks
But she had to deal with an alcoholic father it isn’t her fault
I was like the younger friends
I even drank at the sports events
I had fun there nobody hassled me
But one player hated my comment
So I thought I won’t do that
But I am no alcoholic just a man
Who needed a break