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This is the last ******* time
I rent you space in my head
I've written about you so much
When I'm done I'm like.... Again

This dudes annoying me, get over
It, she's a *****, what can you do
I never asked for child support all
I wanted was our son to know u

But maybe it's better he doesn't
But it breaks my heart that aches
When his preschool made crafts
On ur dead beat Mother's Day

And he had to make one for nana
And asked me where u were
And now I finally get why some parents say, the dead beat ****

That isn't around had died
Cause I rather that than the other,
Which is tell our beautiful son that
The truth,narcissists can't be mothers

So *******, and this will be the
Very last ****** time
I waste a thought , or a tear drop
On your heartless ***, but I

Still hold pity for you!... Why?
Because I know what you don't
That regret can evolve when u let
Important things left, so I hope

I can hold in the joy, when the day
Comes and your blind *** sees
That our child, your flesh and blood
Has a value, your drugs can reach

A life you made, that you trade
So you can run away but one day
All the pain you left me with will
Find you ***** and it'll eat away

At whatever's left of your soul
Whatever's left of your neurotic
Selfish, ****** up, drugged up heart so black, I reverse oscars, and boycott it

So when psychosomatic Psychotic
Psychosis sets in
And you feel sorry for yourself and
All the time you wasted with him

I will tell him. To make sure he takes
What time is left with u and not
Say what I want to which is, let her
Live knowing, the cost of what's lost

Is being a deadbeat. But sought
Will be knowing if I did
That would encourage the son I love
To lose out so I sacrifice for my kid

Something u know nothing about
And probably never will
But 4 years have gone by so fast
Soon the futures the past and filled

Will be your blinded eyes
Full of consequence disguised
As poor u, self pity, ****** cries
Just like the cries our son cried

As I learn to handle a four month
Old baby boy, but hey .. I did
And you'll never know why sacrifice
And a selfless life fills the void which

We use to try and fill with ****,
Parties drugs raves all the ****
That lead us deeper into the darkness
We thought we escaped and hid

10 years of living for only us
Temptation, inebriation lust
Feeling numb cause sobriety
Brings anxiety in society full of

People who grew the **** up
Responsibility. Purpose stability
The knowledge that pretentious
Isn't being clean, so tranquility

Is real when it's felt rather than
The induced, bile filled puke
That's only half as vile as you
And if you ever see me smile *** u

Is what's meant, as I see now
Why we had to part ways it's sad
You were scared to grow up and that
Will catch up with you but a dad

Was just a scary . Trust me I was
Terrified.. Emasculated embarrassed
The years we spent that i cherished
We're all spent high so apparent

is how sobering up left transparent
Facts that say I didn't know
Who I really was, expect for the one
I was when sedated and I know

Now that there's a difference
In the way your emotions process
And now I maybe who we said we'd never be, cubical Steve at the office

9-5 and ya I get it, got it,
I'm exactly what u hate I know
But one day everything u aren't is
What you will be, but *** this poem

**** the nostalgia the reminiscing
See..... I always end up lost
Cause admittingly I can't get over it
When your eyes stare at me off

The face of our son, the ****** expressions the stubborn head its
All you that I see sitting across of me
And thank u for him, so like u left

Us, I will attempt to leave u
Abandoned in this coffin poem
And hope it doesn't follow me back
Like a horror movie villain to a home

I built without u, stop thinking bout u
It's easier to say
Than it is to do, so with a *** u
I mask the pain the scars gave

To remind me what's behind me
So on the day regrets blinding
This pain will be yours cause karmas
Tour can move slowly but finding

Who it's meant to, means it'll get u
So goodbye dead beat goodbye
I hope u drown in the tears u cry
When u see what u trade to be high
Matt Nov 2014
biblondesubgal: hey miss
queenkendraxx: happy turkey day
queenkendraxx: Is it you and your mistress?
biblondesubgal: yes maam it is
queenkendraxx: what are your names?
biblondesubgal: shes kellie im allan
queenkendraxx: She is 25, you are 20?
biblondesubgal: its reversed
queenkendraxx: Do you always swallow the black stud's ***?
queenkendraxx: Lol tell her she should put it in your food so you can have a daily dose Allan
queenkendraxx: Do you have a ***** name Allan
biblondesubgal: allyssa
queenkendraxx: Ask her what she thinks of Allison
queenkendraxx: Allyssa the bbc *****
queenkendraxx: huh?
biblondesubgal: she said she likes allison too
queenkendraxx: tell her she rocks
queenkendraxx: you are her ******* property, huh?
biblondesubgal: yes miss i am her property
queenkendraxx: I do yoga and pilates to keep my body in tip top shape
queenkendraxx: DO you two have pics?
biblondesubgal: no sry
queenkendraxx: mmkay don't wanna share or just don't have?
biblondesubgal: dont like to share
queenkendraxx: that is cool what does Kellie look like?
queenkendraxx: Well I would delete it
queenkendraxx: but I understand
biblondesubgal: blonde blue eyes 5'4ish 36c
biblondesubgal: your first pic was blurry
queenkendraxx: How did you two meet?
biblondesubgal: mutual friend lol
queenkendraxx: was she ooking for a *****?
queenkendraxx: looking
queenkendraxx: What is her black stud's name?
biblondesubgal: not that i was aware of. she didnt get aggressive until like a month after we were dating
biblondesubgal: daquan
queenkendraxx: hehe I will show you
queenkendraxx: pics of my previous and some of my past blac studs
queenkendraxx: How big is Daquan's ****?
biblondesubgal: 8.5 in pretty thick too
queenkendraxx: big heavy *****?
queenkendraxx: mmm
biblondesubgal: oh yes so heavy and full
queenkendraxx: lol ask her if you have a ***** ****
biblondesubgal: she said yes its so cute his little ***** ******
queenkendraxx: ow big
queenkendraxx: how big 5 in?
biblondesubgal: im 5.5 in
queenkendraxx: aww not bad
queenkendraxx: for a *****
biblondesubgal: thank you miss
queenkendraxx: can I talk to Kellie for a while?
biblondesubgal: sure can i watch yall type?
queenkendraxx: yes *****
biblondesubgal: hey hunny
queenkendraxx: Hey Kellie
queenkendraxx: I love your *****, so obedient-- I have one too
queenkendraxx: His name was Matt but I call him Maddeline
biblondesubgal: yeah? was he hard to break?
queenkendraxx: at first wanna see the black stud that helped me break him?
biblondesubgal: yes please. i have my ***** watching
biblondesubgal: dayum
queenkendraxx: gorgeous huh?
biblondesubgal: yes wow
queenkendraxx: I have a pic of his **** too hehe
queenkendraxx: Is Dayquan really built?
biblondesubgal: not like that lol he has abs but his arms arent that big
biblondesubgal: did your man *** you?
queenkendraxx: yes, that is Darius a different studof mine
queenkendraxx: He makes Maddeline blow him--- gorgeous **** huh?
biblondesubgal: yes so big allyssa thanked me for not giving him that big
queenkendraxx: hehe does Allyssaswallow all Dayquan's *****?
queenkendraxx: I wish I could see your pic Kellie, I bet you are so pretty
biblondesubgal: if it doesnt go in his *** and even then sometimes he does
queenkendraxx: he is learning to take it
queenkendraxx: deep in his ***?
biblondesubgal: yes hes gotten 8 in in so far another half inch and we will be ready for thicker lol
queenkendraxx: hehe ever took pics of that and showed ur gfs?
queenkendraxx: lol good *****
biblondesubgal: no i havent thought to do that
queenkendraxx: hehe good idea?
biblondesubgal: i might do that next time lol
queenkendraxx: lol that way he will be your property for life
queenkendraxx: lol he tries to leave you -- you can send them to his friends haha
biblondesubgal: oh he is lol i have him in chastityafter our sessions he goes back in
queenkendraxx: hehe he in permanent chastity
queenkendraxx: lol there is a space in those to *** right?
biblondesubgal: pretty  much ill let him free when hes being fuked or *******
biblondesubgal: yes there is
queenkendraxx: nice, his *** must be gettting nice and loose
queenkendraxx: does he cry when he is being ******?
biblondesubgal: lol not as loose as maddies. he cries like a baby  because he doesnt get fuked easy
queenkendraxx: lol u know Maddie is such a bbc ****
queenkendraxx: you know all about my Maddie, huh?  hehe
biblondesubgal: lol with the *** you showed me she cant be tight lol
queenkendraxx: Do you tell your gfs all about Allyssa?
queenkendraxx: I stuff my ******* in Maddeline's mouth as he is being pounded in his ***** ***
biblondesubgal: no lol ive been thinking bout having a ******* party
queenkendraxx: taking pics
queenkendraxx: or a video of him
queenkendraxx: So you are toned and fit like me Kellie?
biblondesubgal: your tummy looks better but im not to far off
queenkendraxx: one of ur gf's ******* her mouth while the other has her ***
queenkendraxx: you have a great body too
queenkendraxx: how tall are you?
biblondesubgal: im 5'4 you?
queenkendraxx: guess from my pic
biblondesubgal: hard to tell without comparrison. 5'6?
queenkendraxx: ya
queenkendraxx: 5 '5 and a haf lol
biblondesubgal: i was close lol
queenkendraxx: Did you have your first bbc in college?
biblondesubgal: highschool
queenkendraxx: mmm yay me 2 I was 18
biblondesubgal: i was a cheerleader so i got and *** i wanted really lol
biblondesubgal: i was 16
queenkendraxx: hehe bad loved to see
queenkendraxx: how the black studs plowed over
queenkendraxx: the pathetic white guys?
biblondesubgal: what? sry that was confusing
queenkendraxx: well when I went to football games
queenkendraxx: I like to see how the black men tackled
queenkendraxx: the sorry white guys
biblondesubgal: lol i fuked a basketball player
queenkendraxx: lol one time Darius hit another white guy so hard he sent him to the hospital  
queenkendraxx: nice in college?
biblondesubgal: in highschool lol but he went to college on a scholarship
queenkendraxx: nice
queenkendraxx: you a freshman now?
queenkendraxx: or sophmore?
biblondesubgal: im a freshman
queenkendraxx: nice what you study
queenkendraxx: Does Allyssa do well and spoil you?
biblondesubgal: business i want to own my own store like vic secret
queenkendraxx: lol I make Maddeline shop there
biblondesubgal: she doesnt make a ton of money shes a secretary
queenkendraxx: lol a secretary for a woman?
biblondesubgal: yes lol
queenkendraxx: does she wear her ***** *******
queenkendraxx: to work?
biblondesubgal: and cute dresses heels hose wigs makeup
queenkendraxx: lol what?
biblondesubgal: and a chastity belt
queenkendraxx: they let her wear that?
queenkendraxx: not to work lol
biblondesubgal: yes lol its not like slutty but cute
queenkendraxx: do all the women laugh
queenkendraxx: tease her?
biblondesubgal: they think shes actually a girl
queenkendraxx: heheh yayy
queenkendraxx: Do you make her kiss Jayquan's ***?
queenkendraxx: Is she on estrogen?   Maybe you could research that
queenkendraxx: She will grow soft *******
biblondesubgal: daquan lol and yes. i started crushing up estrogen and making it in his food (i sent him out for a second)
queenkendraxx: My Maddeline has such useless little *****--- Does Allyssa have a little ***** sack too?
biblondesubgal: yes it sags and small *****
queenkendraxx: (hehe is she gone)
biblondesubgal: yes i dont want her to know im turning her into my real life barbie  doll
queenkendraxx: One day do you plan to have it removed and be there to watch Kellie?
biblondesubgal: idk lol ive thought anbout it im not sure i can do that to him though
queenkendraxx: lol so cruel
queenkendraxx: a simple snip hehe
biblondesubgal: simple that costs a lot of money lol
queenkendraxx: lol maybe down the road
queenkendraxx: lol I know its cruel but
queenkendraxx: their ***** sacks are so useless
biblondesubgal: hehe hes said how sensitive his ******* are
queenkendraxx: I hate how their ***** goo is so clear and watery
biblondesubgal: why you think i need a black man lol
queenkendraxx: lol u have one
queenkendraxx: lol like me
queenkendraxx: not like you ever have *** with him right?
biblondesubgal: any way you can resend that first pic? it came up blurry.
queenkendraxx: ya
biblondesubgal: lol very rarely
queenkendraxx: I just really wish I could see you Kellie
queenkendraxx: ?
biblondesubgal: idk still blurry
queenkendraxx: you can post it on pic paste if you wanted and choose to show it for just thirty mins
queenkendraxx: and it will be gone
queenkendraxx: Mmky I trust you to keep them private
biblondesubgal: i will miss
queenkendraxx: I don't usually send my pics to people
queenkendraxx: this is Kellie?
queenkendraxx: you can just call me Kendra Kellie
biblondesubgal: yes it is ok lol sry im kinda submissive too
queenkendraxx: hmm its ok
queenkendraxx: can you please put your pic
queenkendraxx: on picpaste?
queenkendraxx: You are submissive to women and bi?
biblondesubgal: ill put one on display is that ok?
biblondesubgal: yes
queenkendraxx: sure, lovely
queenkendraxx: cool I love women too
queenkendraxx: The first time Maddeline was ****** in his ***---I spread his cheeks open
queenkendraxx: It was so hot to see all 9 inches buried deep inside my ***** ****---- it got me so wet
biblondesubgal: mmm i love to watch it go in slowly until its burried
biblondesubgal: you see a pic?
queenkendraxx: My Maddeline is here with me on the bed
queenkendraxx: not yet?
queenkendraxx: try again
biblondesubgal: on display
queenkendraxx: we could be like sisters lol
biblondesubgal: lol yeah?
queenkendraxx: we look similar I think
queenkendraxx: you coud model if you wanted
queenkendraxx: My Maddeline is 5.5 too
queenkendraxx: lol ***** ****
biblondesubgal: hehe thank you i wish lol
queenkendraxx: have a pic of your alyssa?
biblondesubgal: sry i dont
queenkendraxx: its cool
queenkendraxx: wanna see maddeline on display?
biblondesubgal: hehe love to
queenkendraxx: what do you think?
biblondesubgal: i dont see
queenkendraxx: it is
queenkendraxx: on my avatar
queenkendraxx: on the convo window, see now?
biblondesubgal: no accept my friend request
queenkendraxx: ur on my buddy list already hmm
queenkendraxx: should I just put it on photo share?
queenkendraxx: DOn't save her pic ok?
biblondesubgal: i wont save it
queenkendraxx: She told me she is sensitive about people seeing her, I know you won't
queenkendraxx: she wants to know what words come to mind  when you see her face
queenkendraxx: if you think she looks femme
biblondesubgal: yes maam
queenkendraxx: ol Kellie
queenkendraxx: you can be a lil submissive
queenkendraxx: it is cute
biblondesubgal: im sorry lol kendra
queenkendraxx: you are impressed by my gorgeous body, huh?
biblondesubgal: i love it
queenkendraxx: I am Miss Perfect hehe
biblondesubgal: hehe well i cant argue that
queenkendraxx: what do you think of the midde one?
biblondesubgal: looks cute you dont have him in a wig nd makeup do you?
queenkendraxx: no he wears anties though
queenkendraxx: think he would look cute in a wig?
biblondesubgal: hehe you should fully dress hi
queenkendraxx: think he looks femme
queenkendraxx: and radiant?
biblondesubgal: i think with some make  up a wig hes be a very pretty girl
queenkendraxx: yes
queenkendraxx: think he has a femme smile?
biblondesubgal: yes maam
biblondesubgal: shyt kendra
queenkendraxx: lol I have a pic of his ***** **** too
biblondesubgal:
queenkendraxx: Do you have others lovers besidses Jayquan?
queenkendraxx: so you love to shop at victorias secret?
queenkendraxx: what do you usually get there?
biblondesubgal: its daquan lol
queenkendraxx: where did kellie go?
biblondesubgal: i dont shop there often to expensive lol
biblondesubgal: i am kellie lol the man is dauan not jayquan
queenkendraxx: ooh I see
queenkendraxx: lol my bad Dauan
queenkendraxx: lol my bad
queenkendraxx: lol u will laugh when you see Maddeline's ****
biblondesubgal: its ok your cute enough to kmake up for it
queenkendraxx: u2 love your smile
biblondesubgal: awe thank you
queenkendraxx: want to make him your cuck hubby one day?
biblondesubgal: i think hes basically there
queenkendraxx: lol nice
queenkendraxx: maddeline goes to a 35 yr old female therapist
queenkendraxx: and she tells her all about feeling inferior to alpha males
queenkendraxx: and wanting to be a woman, lol
biblondesubgal: hehe you did that to her huh
queenkendraxx: yes she cries
queenkendraxx: in front of the therapist
queenkendraxx: wonerful, huh?
biblondesubgal: you want to get her clittlky a real ******
queenkendraxx: hehe well
queenkendraxx: she has thought of having her ***** sack removed
queenkendraxx: she even told the therapist she said
biblondesubgal: hehe you ruined her that makes me wanna kiss you lol
queenkendraxx: heheh I totally own her
queenkendraxx: beautiful, huh?
biblondesubgal: it is so beautiful. allyssa wants to know if ill let her back
queenkendraxx: hmm maybe in a bit
queenkendraxx: wanna see Maddeline's ****?
biblondesubgal: please miss
queenkendraxx: lol 5.5
queenkendraxx: she said she took it with her ipad
biblondesubgal: its so cute
queenkendraxx: that is why there is a weird angle
queenkendraxx: so small, huh?
biblondesubgal: yes well my girls the same size i  think yours is thicker
queenkendraxx: isy bitsyteenie tiny
queenkendraxx: hehehe
biblondesubgal: hehe can i finger?
queenkendraxx: do you do that to her alot?
biblondesubgal: i dont have one yet i have one on order
queenkendraxx: hehe I do
queenkendraxx: a bbc *******?
biblondesubgal: its black like 10in pretty thick
queenkendraxx: I got her an 8 in brown one too that vibrates
queenkendraxx: mmm will **** her so deep
queenkendraxx: yuuummmmmm I have been with him!
biblondesubgal: vibrates? shoot use that on me
biblondesubgal: wow are you loose? lol
queenkendraxx: lol it was a whil ago but
queenkendraxx: mmm love him
queenkendraxx: ehe you look up to me
queenkendraxx: huh kellie?
biblondesubgal: i couldnt even get that in my mouth
queenkendraxx: how much can you *******?
biblondesubgal: 7.5 in
queenkendraxx: oh mi gosh
queenkendraxx: 7 4 me hehe
queenkendraxx: I sometimes make maddeline practice
queenkendraxx: on bananas
biblondesubgal: hehe that guy almost made me puke
queenkendraxx: when she is not practicing on BBC
queenkendraxx: cause Maddeline is so ugly?
biblondesubgal: i make alyssa practice on my ****** after i use them
biblondesubgal: no lol the guy i deepthroated
queenkendraxx: oh
queenkendraxx: hehe I know they *** soooo much
queenkendraxx: I love it soaking my face
queenkendraxx: yummmmm
queenkendraxx: lol I am making Maddeline practie
queenkendraxx: practice
on her banana now
biblondesubgal: hehe hot my ***** is peaking at me through the droor crack
queenkendraxx: lol *****
queenkendraxx: you two have your own place
queenkendraxx: are you at a college dorm
queenkendraxx: or apartment?
biblondesubgal: apartment
queenkendraxx: I should make Maddeline
queenkendraxx: ******* her banana
queenkendraxx: on cam for you, haha
biblondesubgal: oh my gosh id get so wet
queenkendraxx: let me get her, and you can speak to her for a few mins and she can put on a show
queenkendraxx: would you enjoy that Kellie?
biblondesubgal: i would love that miss kendra
queenkendraxx: I am so wet too
queenkendraxx: I have my little rabbit vibe
biblondesubgal: hehe im just using my fingers
queenkendraxx: she is getting the banana one sec she is coming
biblondesubgal: hehe she a good girl for you
queenkendraxx: Hi Miss Kellie
queenkendraxx: This is Maddeline
queenkendraxx: Should I keep writing in this pink?
biblondesubgal: hey girl you dont have to call me miss
biblondesubgal: yes its a good color for you
queenkendraxx: just Kellie or what?
queenkendraxx: I feel like I am being disrespecful
queenkendraxx: I saw your pic and you are so gorgeous
biblondesubgal: you can call me kellie its ok. thanks i wanna eat your girl out
queenkendraxx: yes my Mistress
queenkendraxx: you love BBC
queenkendraxx: like my mistress?
biblondesubgal: yes are yougoing to show me what youve been practicing with your bananna?
queenkendraxx: uhh yes
queenkendraxx: may I touch my ****
queenkendraxx: as I do it?
biblondesubgal: well ask your mistress
queenkendraxx: she said for this show you can decide for me
biblondesubgal: lets not do it right now
bi
Raggae tonic Nov 2014
When I was small enouf to **** da ****** of me mother (13),
I found da great sensation of da *****,
Me uncle Batius make me a sandwich every day,
He know dat I like a da strong cheese,
So he put it in everytime,
I did not know dat da cheese was gangja smoke til much lata,
I neva undastood wy it make me so happy,
until

I *** yo  *****
mike Feb 2013
knockknock
whos there?
doorsalesman
doorsalesman who?
doorsalesman in a paradox.
we're all in a paradox, you benign ***.
howr we all in a paradox?
because we're alive, now get out of my doorway before i **** you.
how is it a paradox to be alive?
do you have a family, mister?
no
ok
what does that mean?
get the *** out of here
but
(bang).....(riiiing...riiiing)
"hello"
"hey, joey?..i need a favor man.."
"wuts up?"
"i uuhhh...i uhh.. i need something from you.. a favor"
"wut the *** is it?"
"...hhh..i uhh..i need you to help me get rid of a body"
"........who?"
"doorsalesman"
"doorsalesman who?"
"dude...dont even start. just commere and help me out"
"ok...gimme a minute..im reading a book about paradoxes"
"no ****..ha!"
"yeah. i never really thought of it but its technically a paradox to be alive"
"yeah, i kn
"cuz, i mean, you need something alive to make something living. and where did life begi
"HOLYSHIT! JUST FUKKING COME OVER! NOW!!!"
(CLICK)
**** SON
I see your name glisten, your heart races
And with this multikill you will reach high places
scream aloud and build up the streak
Listen to fggts as they critique
MLG m9, Don't play if your noob
hardc0re the only way we do
1v1 m3 if your so tough
Il nock you out, im 6ft and buff
**** dont even try to stop me
Im a genius, im pro, im to mlgee
The more you boast, the harder you'll crash
*** off m9 your just jealous of my ca$h
******* HACKER
******* scrub you dont even lift
Hubris and Pride, condemned and forsaken
Act like a god, treated like Satan
The game is over, you've won and congrats.
I'm sure your more of a man after that.
mlg for lyfe
yeah right
onto the next game because you're alone
and need people online to call your own
I expect you expect an explanation. That's why I'm not giving you one. Kudos to Jarvis.
i smoke the ******, people take a wiff
i cant tie ma shoes but i can *** yo *****
i walk that streets wit my boombastic reggae styl
we go to ma doops bungaloo and he says *** and stay a while
we find some bittys wit a fat *** and tell them theat they fine
they say we're creeps witout jobs we say they need some wine
turns out they werent down to *** like an assembly line

tired i go home down tha empty reggae street
i light tha ****, i light tha spliff till i cannot feel my feet
a car puls up i drop my cup they say to get in the backseat
im ****** about the cup it had my last brew and i want to drop a **
i owe them money i have none they brake ma kneecaps what fun
they throw me out the car, away i scurry
she got a big ***** so i call her big *****
Ja feel?
vanessa fonseca Sep 2014
oh, wow, im screaming on this rock at sunset
im screaming about how much im in love with life
which is confusing to me because i am also yelling about how i want someone to shoot me in the chest
is this what being alive feels like
i dont like it
last night i had a dream that my friend was dying
but in a slow and visible way

call me and play 50’s music into the phone
or dont whatever
the cold weather will **** me in time anyways
Joseph Childress May 2014
And she said…

I luv you,
?
Where’s the

O-v-e-

R
we truly
Over?

Or just yet
To begin?

Well, *** u

It’s convenient
To shorten words
To speed the converse
But love
Should be handled
With delicacy
You’re lack of concern
Brought
“I luv u 2”
In return
You’re more mathematical
Than poetical
And I accept our difference
But your indifference
Once I brought it
To your attention
Is well worth
The “*** you” aforementioned
Maria Imran Sep 2015
I'm so obviously obsessed with you--
that's what the pain is about.
Brandon Walus Nov 2018
I met a girl today
Well, I was busy doing some stuff and my phone…told me…I met a girl today.
It said “Ring, ring you have a match. Say hey!”
****, I remember swiping right on her last Tuesday.
How you been?
You see, I live my life window shopping women 5 pictures at a time
Jenny is 7 miles away
Mary wants no strings
Sarah’s sick of *** boys

And Tinder says were all a perfect match!
And now that we’re messaging
And I committed your profile to memory
I remember my reasons for not wanting to be here in the first place

But still I cast out some witty one-liners
Acting as an angler angling for your affection
by employing instruments of artful articulation aimed at ever increasing your awareness of the me
I’m projecting to be.

Because in my head I’m a jack of all trades.
I can change my oil, I can change a diaper
I can make a 3 pointer, I can make a cake
I can build a house, I can build a family
I can make you forget about your last man, I can make you forget about the tears you cried when you were 12.
I can make you feel ****, I can make you wet.
I can make you feel loved and I don’t even love you yet.

Because I haven’t actually met you
I’ve asked you about your favorite book but haven’t had the honor of being told your daddy issues actually come from a guy friend freshman year and that’s why you won’t wear another man’s sweater.
You know my favorite ice cream. But haven’t born witness when I whisper my history of five formidable years of foster care and how that made me the man that I am, and the boy I am not.
You see, Tinder put us in touch but keeps us apart.
With every hour between messages we have ample opportunities to build each other up in each others mind.
But I don’t really know if the me I gave you is the me I see with my own eye or the I I hope you see when we first meet.
And I don’t know if the you I’m getting is the you you’re selling when I buy our first dinner or the you you see when you take your make-up off at night.
That’s the us tinder never brings to light.

So maybe I prefer to have met you in person.
When your personality cannot possibly be poisoned by the internet’s preferred first impressions.
Because in person I can count every freckle on your forehead and kiss every mole down your back.
Because in person I can see firsthand how your nose creases crinkle when you snort instead of laugh.
Because in person I can do so many things that I just cant do with 5 ******* photographs.

So maybe I want a love that wasn’t born from my phone.
Maybe I want to cross paths in real life
Maybe I want to get that feeling you get
Where I look at you, you look at me and cupid starts stirring our chemistry set
My heart begins bubbling beyond the boiling point
Because I saw out of the corner of my eye
Your eyelids flutter.
One of which is worth more than all of the swipes and all of the matches


Maybe I just want to be old fashioned, like an archaic kind of light
Maybe I want to meet you someday and never have to swipe right.
PK Wakefield Jul 2013
America is ******'
a bit its lips
are

America is
its tongue
the slippery
and sublime

it
so deeply feels
its throat
tight to fill pretty

her eyes
rolling wonderful
the whites
roundishly
enervated pink
with

a bit of sharp
a bit
of
glass
smoke and
pipes

her lipsfull
the meat
of "****"
and

when you
push between their parting
emits
the frailest squeak

but
*** er
the she
wants to
please *** er
the fucc
er lips
the cooly mess
er cheeks
damson stained
and puckering to

kisss
dennis drain Aug 2016
Man... I'm so sick of this ****, taking like a politician, tryin ta act like a different person.
Even when im wrightin an gettin twisted.
Stayin up 3 days without sleepin even a second.
I feel like I abandoned my mission, of relatin to the worlds neglected children.
Started spitin **** that  made me sound like a *****.
but the truth is im still white, high, wearin black hoodies and  refusin to accept what I don't like.
Didint notice I was writtin any different I was just hella trippin on the white ****,
sittin up all night on hello poetry half dead, can't remember half of what I said. Just remember i wasn't making sense,
finly went to bed and im back again...

Finley Wearin all black again, bandana ironed in my back left again, but even on my brightest days i was born to sin.
So im still north side 14 only white boy allowed in. Pipe loaded with whatever for forever  someone better burry me with a peice in my pocket to chief on when they lower down my casket and lock it. Then pour little bit of 40 on top for the homie who never stopped kilin it.
and so to infinity
if things pan out
it'll be the end
of me.

*** you Bonanza
I'm on the verandah
with a spiced drink

you thought
I think
*** you

cute eh?

but it's melodrama in the
panorama
the doctor tells me

'he would wouldn't he'
(and him never knowing the
Christine that I did)

About this time I'm high
or I was
time gone by

the genie is looking after me
thinks he
as he balances on the edge
of the World.

Atlas
kiss my ***
I'm calling you out.
mike Feb 2015
No matter who i love
*** is a hunger.
when your hungry you eat.
when your horney you ***.
and ive fallen in love
before ***
during ***
after ***
in a minute im sure..
to a person ive known or now know.
and guess what:
everyone ive ever loved ive loved.
everyone ive ever fukd ive fukd.
and both are a hunger
of which im unfulfilled.
mike Jan 2013
poopoo ******. la doodoo erectus. **** titily winks and nods. ***** ***** bangbang and ***. dot end.
W Nov 2013
When everybody tells me that I can be anything I want,
I was born to do what I want,
I believe them.

So, I was born to be wild.
Or maybe I was born 2 b wild (numeral and letter)
or brn2bwld (no vowels nospaces)

I'm a poet and I'm proud to say
**** form     and while im at it, **** the word
*** (no c) and **** the grammar of needing to put the apostrophe in im
Because I write as i want i am as I want and nothing can
Change that.

like gatsby the Great i have given birth to Myself and
I am me, no
One                 ELSE
not even gatsby or any Ayn Randian wetdream dreamed of on a midsummer night because
fk (no c no vowels) Shakespeare and fitzgerald and the shrugging atlas

becuz (uz instead of ause)
this is Me

and no One, not a duckface peacesign Mona Lisa or a bandanawearing bazookawielding Benjamin Franklin
can ever destroy
t     h     a     t

because (no change) I am born to be wild (no change)
Ajibade Da Silva Nov 2016
"We are in somebody else's ****"

"Yea, well when ur in the ****,
you have to make THE **** BETTER!"

"*** you gon do?"
"Just fester...?"

"***, ***, **** DAT!"

"Me, me, I'm not about being some ****...
Do I have **** to work on...
Hell yea, **I'm AWALYS WORKIN' on  MY ****!"
debates between homies
PoETE Poet-Pete Jun 2015
........Death,
is not the answer,
to your cancer........"*** cancer",
I was born to be Earth's angel dancer,      
now continue to dance,
Because this is your answer,
again, and again, "*** cancer".
All
Content
Written by
PoETEPETE
{2000 ~~ 2015}
~©~ Protected & never neglected.
Kody Banda Sep 2015
The other day I passed by a homeless family
All 10 sitting under a mango tree
They didn't have much but they seemed happy
Now here we learn a valuable lesson
We don't need money to solve everything
Maybe peace is a lot more simpler
Smile show a simple or two
Or try to have a conversation with someone new
We all co exist in a world that was meant to be limitless
But now we engage in a never ending conflict
That's so sick, it makes me nauseous
So let's be cautious
Of how we let the young kids talk
It can go from a computer screen to a life long sentence and a death row walk
Cause look ignorance is bliss
And we can't pass this
We learn to respect and prioritize
But we fail to realize that this can also lead to carelessness
It's nothing less than how we carry ourselves
We minimize this never ending flow or we criticize
So *** it who cares what he's wearing
Your tearing this kid apart with his tagged clothes
But you don't know the story
Never had anything like a young Kody
Grew up in the projects a 12 story building
Moms a crack addict never tried rehabilitatin
Dad works 9-5 trying to fulfill his families ever needs
Living off of food stamps and EBT
This **** is no acting like TNT
Plenty was never in his vocabulary
He prays to god and at times asks "why me"
Feels like he's being beat
Feels like everything is getting worse in this universe
So next time you think you are cursed with having it worse
Listen to my words and every verse
Cause world peace is key
It helps us create an ideal reality
I will tell my son not to do
Drugs obviously but ****
That's like priests telling child
**** peddlers it's not right to *** kids

So I'll have to resort to this:
"son please do as I say"
And not what I did and probably
Still do when grandpa for the day

Takes u away to play,
So I'll tell him things that made
Me a hypocrite so don't have ***
With girls u don't love and I'll say

Always use a ******, even though
It really takes away
From sensation like immigration
Deported it from the land of play

Never use the service of a ******
Even if she has 2 kids
And u think fukking her would help
Her feed em, cause that's just sick

But then Ill feel so guilty from my
Hypocritical ways
Like not going to church but sending
Him with his catholic school to pray

As echoes of my words that say
**** is no gateway to others
Are heard in my head but now I'll
Preach it so over protective I smother

And suffocate, and screen his dates
And call him on the phone
Until I'm that parent ur friends
Make fun of, never leaving him alone

Cause I can love myself but a clone
In my son I would hate
But if karmas real I maybe in
For a scary ride of parenthood...great

Cause as I think back I realize
That my parents would freak when they
found out about ****, which makes me think
of all they didnt know, and all I got away.....

With, and I start to flip, so I
Debate starting to hide some devices
All over my apartment and tap the
****** phone and no I don't like this

But it needs to be done,
after all He's my son
I had no ****** brain and I was
dangerous, imagine him, as a smarter one

I brought u in this world son!
So u better bet I can take u out
Now I'm saying **** I heard and said I'd
never say even though i Promised myself

I don't trust a mall Santa or his
****** ****** elf And mrs clause is a ****
Tell me the truth son! Is he ur drug
Supplier, I saw his knee under ur ****!!

Maybe I'm just paranoid plus he's
Not even one yrs old I'm trippin
But not so crazy if family guys baby is  
Accurate .....so maybe my kids a Stewie Griffin

Trying to **** his mom.....ha , ya! Good luck
I been trying for years
But can't get away wit nothin cause who you are
or were ****** .....is always prime suspect and here

Is where I try to convince myself
To just let the kid grow up, and make mistakes
The girl next store will be fine,
Let him learn on his own, not to go ****

cause its as wrong as that hyperboye was
Even if she was ...already a ***
All I want is to make sure he doesn't
Go down the same path i did, and that I know

That I'm lucky I walked through, and away from
Without dying before I had my lil dude
So Julian at 16 yrs old ima take my
Belt like old school people would do

And beat ur *** with it like it was
A million, trillion beatings in one
Then explain that it was for all the ****
U do and will do, and all that uve done

That u know u wernt suppose to do
but still did Without me knowing,
Then never say **** to him again and
pray while I support him, as hes growing

And get a pair of lawyers incase
My pair-a-noias actually apt
And maybe one day he won't hate me
For random drug tests for crack

******, ***, methamphetamines
And anything else
That feels good, as I religiously raid
His room, then end up doing the house

After finding nothing in ur room
Screaming........ where is it, where is it
I know ur up to something cause
u have my blood in u "explicit, explicit""

And ask him paranoid fuelled
Questions in anger, killing his joy
U missed ur period this month didn't u!
Don't lie to me!! .."dad ***?..I'm a boy?!!

Then embarrassed and frantic
I'll ask him If he's sure
Then hed say yes dad I promise,
I'll never be stupid as u were

...or at least I hope. Just please god
Dont let him suffer
For my mistakes. Guide him to diffrent
or I'll **** him&giv;; his name 2 his brother

Ok I'm just kidding, I want my
Kid to be living
I want him to be educated, successful
Well respected and giving

And Julian if u read this one
Day, I hope u know I worry
And maybe u don't understand right
Now but trust me u will when ur 30
Miguel Diaz May 2016
***, dat lingwistik ****
is so **** bro.
ppl dun wanna no nefing nemore, well tgif.
i just wanna *** some bishes
nd 4get abt lyf.
I ceebs bein gud wif werdz.
i jst wnt sum roofies 2 hlp me relx.
my comp is lagging 2much.
2 many **** on ytube 2dae.
imma go on COD and shoot sum *****.
jst add me on SC nd u can send me nudes.
i mite c u at da clubs 2nite.
rofl.
YOLO.

inb4 dis is uncomahensabul

dis is 2deep4u.
This is reality. This is the way some idiots speak. I am disgusted by this character, but I also empathise with him.. or "it". I find reality something hard to bare and I am intensely dissapointed in the stupidity and evil of the world. There is humor in this, there misogyny, homophobia, anti intellectualism. Its disgusting. This character is real. We all know this person.

I believe it is unlikely for us to change and in a way we have to **** this person spiritually, metaphorically, literally or use love. Neither of these will work and I believe I had to express it through art. Poetry.

Enjoy.
Mykle Matwaya Jan 2019
I seem to have become somewhat of a paradox-
I want to be happy,
but I'm constantly reminding myself of things that make me sad and angry.
I grow lazy,
yet I am ambitious.
I hate my self,
but love who I really am.
I crave attention,
yet I reject it when its shown to me.
I am a conflicted contradiction to my self.
My point is this:
I have know myself my whole life,
and have spent every second of every day with me and never a moment apart.
It has taken me 37 years to figure out that I may never fully understand myself.
So, let me ask you something.
If I can't figure myself out,
What the *** makes you think you already have,
or that you have one goddammed thing figured out about me?
Feel me 1st,
then *** off.

Immovable-
These suicidal thoughts are not even mine
its ugly *** force that's wants  to take what's mine
but this demon can't have it
so I gotten keep spittin
jus so I can grasp it ******* myself and I need to let up
I'm champion and there is no giving up
I'm the best *** the rest I'm just writing this **** just to get it off my chest
and if you ever had these thoughts yo put em to rest
kuz everydays a new day for you to do your best
*** this demon it can not have my life
that's not the way I'm going kuz I'm headed to the top
I got the world on my finger and its spinin like a top
there's no such things as failure
I'm shipin cargo  guess you can call me a sailor
ain't never been to jail so I ain't speaking to the bailer
suicide thoughts yeah they all end to day
I'm on the rode to success some how some way!
Your OK just be you!
shy
See I'm shy and I'm meek because I think before I speak
I'm the head of the Indians so they call me head chief
smoking on that natural but I'm far from the natural used to be a skaterboy so  you can call me Mr radical    
I'm broke to society no money in my pockets but that could never stop the  blasting of my rocket  
no man can hold me down no women will lift me up  I'm just a man thinking of a higher plan where we all stand hand in hand  
I'm baked my eyes heavy from the weight dreamin up a better place when I think of the words my minds soon erased  
why are we paying to  live when life was givin to us freely I may sound a Lil crazy but I think were all missing some screws
I dnt run with anybody I'm not bangin no crew I'm jus young man trying to spread the truth
its not something that's taught but is inside of you  its the Lil voice that's always calling you to stand up and say *** your job and do what you really wanna do
so maybe we're all shy and meek but that's OK kuz we all jus been Asleep listen to what I'm saying life ain't cheap but life doesn't have a price if you get what  I mean!
We all are  one being searching for the same things besides the ones in charge shitin on our dreams  
they  don't want us to change kuz were ****** with there scheme they got you believing everything on the screen instead formulating your opinion and chasing  your dream
we are in a stream of delusion tainted with illusion causing mass confusion  religions misused to keep us  confused and infused in a certain set of rules
if heaven were real we'd all miserably fail but because of the divine were all posting bail only you can free yourself from a life of hell its within all of us
we are the keys to our cell!
Emancipate yourself!
Leo Janowick Apr 13
Those among us rise and shout
I've got the virus please get it out
Pray for it to be untrue
Life has changed for me and you
Let no stones go unturned
The bodies pilled as they burn
Misfortune overturned
Life on pause .hopelessly concerned

Never planned to get up n get the *** out
Sit on the porch and watch the sky fall down
Poor man's fitting end .gonna go out like I came in. nowhere to run they won't you go hide. please don't get to close as you walk by

I stand corrected. never seen no **** like this. thought I'd seen it all until the pandemic set in

Those among us rise and shout
I've got the virus please get it out
Pray for it to be untrue
Life has changed for me and you
Let no stones go unturnd
The bodies pilled as they burn
Misfortune overturned
Life on pause .hopelessly concerned
B Dec 2013
you got reggie
it's the regular ****
named after reggie bush
or miller
it's not that killer
but roll it up
pour yourself a cup
see how it tastes
after a few puffs
you'll realize
that you're still pretty hi as ***
haha
aint that somethin
might be a lil higher
depends on what u think
or want it to be
before you smoke it
call it blue dream
forget about the stems and the seeds
relax
and enjoy the breeze
on the beach
smiling
blowin the trees
with your flip flops on
or wherever you want to be
when you get high
your mind is free
anything you dream
or create and bring
to the world
is a new reality
I will tell my son not to do
Drugs obviously but ****
That's like priests telling child
**** peddlers it's not right to *** kids

So I'll have to resort to this:
"son please do as I say"
And not what I did and probably
Still do when grandpa for the day

Takes u away to play,
So I'll tell him things that made
Me a hypocrite so don't have ***
With girls u don't love and I'll say

Always use a ******, even though
It really takes away
From sensation like immigration
Deported it from the land of play

Never use the service of a ******
Even if she has 2 kids
And u think fukking her would help
Her feed em, cause that's just sick

But then Ill feel so guilty from my
Hypocritical ways
Like not going to church but sending
Him with his catholic school to pray

As echoes of my words that say
**** is no gateway to others
Are heard in my head but now I'll
Preach it so over protective I smother

And suffocate, and screen his dates
And call him on the phone
Until I'm that parent ur friends
Make fun of, never leaving him alone

Cause I can love myself but a clone
In my son I would hate
But if karmas real I maybe in
For a scary ride of parenthood...great

Cause as I think back I realize
That my parents would freak when they
found out about about ****, which
makes me think of all the **** I got away

With, and I start to flip, so I
Debate starting to hide some devices
All over my apartment and tap the
****** phone and no I don't like this

But it needs to be done,
after all He's my son
I had no ****** brain and I was
dangerous, imagine him, not dumb

I brought u in this world son!
So u better bet I can take u out
Now I'm saying **** I heard and said I'd
never say even though i Promised myself

I don't trust a mall Santa or his
****** ****** elf And mrs clause is a ****
Tell me the truth son! Is he ur drug
Supplier, I saw his knee under ur ****!!

Maybe I'm just paranoid plus he's
Not even one yrs old I'm trippin
But I'm not so crazy if family guys
Accurate maybe my kids like Stevie Griffin

Trying to **** my girl, ya! Good luck
I been trying for years
But can't get away wit nothin cause who
Ur ****** is prime suspect and here

Is where I try to convince myself
To just let the kid make mistakes
The girl next store will be fine,
Let him learn on his own that ****

Was the wrong way to go
Even if she was already a ***
All I want is to make sure he doesn't
Go down the same path I know

That I'm lucky I walked through
Without dying before I had u
So Julian at 16 yrs old ima take my
Belt like old school people would do

And beat ur *** with it like it was
A million beatings in one
Then explain that was for all the ****
U do and will do, and all that uve done

That u know u wernt suppose to do but Without me knowing,
Then never say **** to him again and
pray while I support him when growing

And get a pair of lawyers in cause
My pair-a-noias actually apt
And maybe one day he won't hate me
For random drug tests for crack

******, ***, methamphetamines
And anything else
That feels good, as I religiously raid
His room, then end up doing the house

After finding nothing in ur room
Screaming where is it, where is it
I know ur up to something cause u have my blood in u "explicit, explicit""

And ask him paranoid fuelled
Questions in anger, killing his joy
U missed ur period this month didn't u!
Don't lie to me!! .."dad ***?..I'm a boy?!!

Then embarrassed and frantic
I'll ask him If he's sure
Then hed say yes dad I promise,
I'll never be stupid as u were

...or at least I hope. Just please god
Dont let him suffer
For my mistakes. Guide him to diffrent
or I'll **** him&giv;; his name 2 his brother

Ok I'm just kidding, I want my
Kid to be living
I want him to be educated, successful
Well respected and giving

And Julian if u read this one
Day, I hope u know I worry
And maybe u don't understand right
Now but trust me u will when ur 30
I luv the way ur hair flows as u walk past me
I try not to luk as tho i cannot c
Wen u smile an angel gets its wings
Wen i c ur smile i can hear the angel as it sings
Ur eyes r lik 2 pools of undiscovered spaces
I cud get lost in them meet new ppl go to new places
Ur curves r lik the waves of an ocean
I cud notice them even if u arent in motion
Ur thighs r handles easy to grip
As we hug and meet lip to lip
I cant trust myself wen im with u
I wud hav sumthn ether gud bad or inapropriat to 
do
It wud make u happy sad mad or *****
U wud want to hug me kiss me slap me or *** me
It depends on a question i wud ask u in evry way
Ur reaction revolves around how gud was ur day
It's not enough to complain
It's not enough to feel shame
It's not enough to give up after
U fail. It's not enough to go blame

The neighborhood u grew in
Or the ppl u were around
No excuse is enough to justify
So u can just deny knowing how

so if you need to work
3 jobs, while u scratch and claw
your way to whatever dream thay lay
awaiting you to sink teeth and lock ur jaw

break your enemy and the law
create a strength with ur flaw
like having deadly aids and using it
to **** ur enemy by sleeping with his wife or dog

whatever it takes do the job
be stubborn and never listen
to the dreamkilling dream-***** blockers
who want u to fail so u can be kissin

the same *** they kiss, dont miss ur chance
dont over think
take what u want like bill cosby does after
making a woman a drink

cuz To succeed and exceed what u perceive
in your dreams, and become
a man than if u have to bleed for what u believe
then by all means cuz success ends

when your sacrifices do, so dont give up and
Cry while u surrender if not, pains expected
be hardheaded and stubborn cause its a positive,
thing in this case but differently name as relentless

So address this where your address is
and if u find no way theres a huge world
out there, so keep learning and maybe one day

Ill see u on the other side
Where no one ******* or complains
Where no one is slowed by
Failure or fear cuz they're all driven by pain

Where u don't even need a brain
Just passion and will
Cause if your still ****** breathing
Than be believing u have a chance still

And I write this not only to ****
The doubt that poisons ur mind
But while stressin im confessin
Ill admit this is also to **** mine

Cuz we all get weak at times
Where we actually consider
birthing a child of regret while bitter
And become its new mom, no babysitter

Conceived with life who will *** u
Without any protection
And even those who oppose abortion
Would see this as the exception

Just make sure u never let them
C- section out your heart
Keep fighting back, cuz kept Faith when life falls apart
is nothing short of an art

It can be beautiful but dark
It can abstract and expensive
And remember stubborn and hard headed when positive
is called relentless
(20 minute poetry)


Stood up?
I have been, but this time I gave my seat up and stood up.

It's a long way to go when you're stood and you know there are eight stations left before you get to your stop.

I count down and spit out the stations I leave believing it will bring me good luck,
Does it?
Does it ***
I'm still on my feet at Liverpool street
Nearer to home
tired to the bone
But I am nearly there.

I've just referred some **** to the sign that says that, this is a 'Priority seat'
By Bethnal green, stood up though I've been I now have a seat by the window, no view, and there's sod all I can do about that.

— The End —