I met a girl today Well, I was busy doing some stuff and my phone…told me…I met a girl today. It said “Ring, ring you have a match. Say hey!” ****, I remember swiping right on her last Tuesday. How you been? You see, I live my life window shopping women 5 pictures at a time Jenny is 7 miles away Mary wants no strings Sarah’s sick of *** boys
And Tinder says were all a perfect match! And now that we’re messaging And I committed your profile to memory I remember my reasons for not wanting to be here in the first place
But still I cast out some witty one-liners Acting as an angler angling for your affection by employing instruments of artful articulation aimed at ever increasing your awareness of the me I’m projecting to be.
Because in my head I’m a jack of all trades. I can change my oil, I can change a diaper I can make a 3 pointer, I can make a cake I can build a house, I can build a family I can make you forget about your last man, I can make you forget about the tears you cried when you were 12. I can make you feel ****, I can make you wet. I can make you feel loved and I don’t even love you yet.
Because I haven’t actually met you I’ve asked you about your favorite book but haven’t had the honor of being told your daddy issues actually come from a guy friend freshman year and that’s why you won’t wear another man’s sweater. You know my favorite ice cream. But haven’t born witness when I whisper my history of five formidable years of foster care and how that made me the man that I am, and the boy I am not. You see, Tinder put us in touch but keeps us apart. With every hour between messages we have ample opportunities to build each other up in each others mind. But I don’t really know if the me I gave you is the me I see with my own eye or the I I hope you see when we first meet. And I don’t know if the you I’m getting is the you you’re selling when I buy our first dinner or the you you see when you take your make-up off at night. That’s the us tinder never brings to light.
So maybe I prefer to have met you in person. When your personality cannot possibly be poisoned by the internet’s preferred first impressions. Because in person I can count every freckle on your forehead and kiss every mole down your back. Because in person I can see firsthand how your nose creases crinkle when you snort instead of laugh. Because in person I can do so many things that I just cant do with 5 ******* photographs.
So maybe I want a love that wasn’t born from my phone. Maybe I want to cross paths in real life Maybe I want to get that feeling you get Where I look at you, you look at me and cupid starts stirring our chemistry set My heart begins bubbling beyond the boiling point Because I saw out of the corner of my eye Your eyelids flutter. One of which is worth more than all of the swipes and all of the matches
Maybe I just want to be old fashioned, like an archaic kind of light Maybe I want to meet you someday and never have to swipe right.