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Ry Dec 2017
I can't tell if I'm high;

Or the wires in my brain has detached the ability to feel my physical body.

& a memory appears in my head;  

That night at 3am;

It was raining and we were chain smoking in your car in a grocery store parking lot.

Foxing came on the stereo.

That's when you turned to me

& said, 'This is what I mean.'

I exhaled smoke and watched it slip out the cracked window.

Your eyes were looking down,

& I just said, "I don't know'

We sat in silence;

But I could sense your thoughts.

Inside of me I felt;
Vacant.

Physically I felt;
Tipsy from the beers I drank at our friends house.

I think of that day now
& wonder if you were hurt.

Could it have felt like;
knocking your knee against the corner of a table?

Sometimes, I feel sorry that you've met me.

Can we go back to listening to Midwestern emo bands, laying on the floor in a room with nothing but a bed and a record player.

Before emotions and opinions formed;

Before you told me you hated me;

Before we became friends again and you sometimes would buy me a soda.

When there were no intentions;
just company.
vanessa fonseca Oct 2017
Spinnin and spinnin
Head breaks off into a branch
The ends of my fingertips thin out
Like
I am dense in the middle: thin around the edges: i can feel myself melting away.
He told me
Ill meet you there, but someone will hurt you when the time is most wrong
boywasiright
vanessa fonseca Apr 2016
man handling your everything i guess
this is the moon song
i want you to listen to it while i
hear you breathing so loudly and frantic and breath in (only in)

listen.
my life has been way too good up until this point.
i want you to know something terrible is going to happen some time in the near future.
"may her guts rot in hell, i loved her so much"
its meaningless; its hollow.
vanessa fonseca Apr 2016
i wrap myself around you
and inside you and
outside
anywhere i can reach , and well
i apologize for it
and so do you

we take our apologetic love to the bank
i hibernate for a few days or weeks
you stare at the spider on the ground
we cry inside a bedroom
i cry inside a bathroom
you cry inside a car
while we sink
into this deep sticky love fort
it engulfs us whole
it chokes us
but gives a great massage and
i cant live right now without you, i hate to say it
i apologize for this and everything else before this
vanessa fonseca Mar 2016
i sit inside ur
church and circle my tongue around ur *** rim
giddy up horsye
u say
wow ur kinkyyyyy
this is a made up *** scene
i directed in my head
i just wanna do what u want
i wanna do what u would enjoy
but im still a dom
ok?
im still a dom
vanessa fonseca Jan 2016
thank you! thank you!
my audience screams for more
i take a bow and raise my head again
"and for my final performance... i will be jumping into..."
wait
****
where did she go?
we lost her.
we lost her we lost her...

the show was eleven dollars.
a bit too pricey if you ask me.
i think everybody knew the ******* stage just wanted to get naked for the crowd,
she just wanted the applause.

i take out my phone and text my boyfriend.
"i just
i just want you to know that i cant commit to anything in this world, and there isnt a single thing out there that amazes me.
unfortunately this is just the kind of person i am."
he replies with
"i cant be around you anymore.
its confusing to me and its hurting me"
i reply
"okay"
and drive to the hospital, where they tell me,
"you really dont belong here
youre really fine"

i do that thing with my mouth
just so youll text me back
hi i havent logged on here in like 2 years
Aveline Mitchell Dec 2015
Let us walk along the creases of the Universe,
Of the wrinkles etched in Time.
Let us balance on the edge of Insanity,
Toss our worries into a supernova.

Our veins are cheap yarn;
Thrown away when tangled
                separation an impossibility.
My blood is your blood.
It is in the waves that crash along our coasts.
We can be careful or reckless,
But not both.

Broken souls lost in reverie;
We shall not fade as long as we never wake up.
They will not know who we are
When they try to identify our corpses.
John and Jane, they will call us;
The pair with matching fingerprints.
mld Aug 2015
Endlessly, relentlessly, you make
haste by unbroken parable, cry
incense incensed, censure me, call
names of the unjust, we’re unjust, there’s
unbroken like fish and bread in
multitudes, swing low and wide on
fingertips that have never known bare
skin the way I have known
yours, chariots lost on pharoah’s
feet and dying prodigals covering
little ground.

Calling him, you came like
waves on shore parting for
boat hulls, licking up
starboard side thirsty for
purpose, raising church in three
days making metaphor into
matter, I met you halfway, holding staff
still dripping crimson on toes that
hadn’t yet touched the sea.
We made miracles.

I’ve yet to find contentment among
tents pitched forty days
ago, dusted in sugar burning
tongues too used to manna, leaning
‘against winds that
whisper designs o'er mount Sinai,
whisper Pontius Pilate condemnation,
whisper platitudes Peter proclaimed
before **** crowed thrice.
Crucify us.
We don’t dare step down.
Raise us.
We’ve yet to sin.
Fawn May 2015
my dad cried today
i'm so sad
he doesn't cry much
i cried too
the sun in shining off the windscreen it's hurting my eyes
i keep thinking about my fish
i found out they died the other day
one ate the other whole then proceeded to eat himself
i wonder why my fish ate himself
is it classified as suicide?
do fish get depressed?
i hope my fish wasn't depressed
it's 10pm
dad is no longer crying
i am still sad
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