Forgivness Is Not A Matter Of Whether Or Not You Deserve It
- It Is A Question Of Whether Or Not I Wan't **Peace

We try our best.
god willing he will understand the rest.

Forgiveness is the key,
To defeating your enemy.

For what power can one have,
Over a free soul?

The answer is none
And forgivness is how this freedom is won.

If you cannot forgive
Then how will you live?

To truly forgive one must not forget,
You must remember and yet,
Move forward without feelings untoward,
And not presume to judge as some mighty lord,
Or ones soul may jump overboard.

Often times this I do forget,
And this always leads to regret.

Pity the man that has fallen down,
And do not give him that disgusted frown.

Do not presume that you are any better,
For you do not know the pain that is his thether.

This you help me to remember,
As you ignite my fading ember.

Falling out of love again,
but not with whom I need to
my past obsession
has become nothing more
than my new addiction.
well, one of the many at least.

to recreate the situations,
is a cause forever lost.
to formulate retaliations,
leaves the souls of lovers lost.

holding fire in your heart,
burning brands upon your brain
a grudge of blood and tears and scars
the spark of which will still remain

as long as ashes are collected
and ember fanned alive  
the beast possesses reason,
a motive to survive.

I seek relief in my relations,
mostly trivial in nature,
from my newfound deprivation
of optimism for the future

I seek relief in my relations,
mostly trivial in nature,
from my newfound deprivation
of optimism for the future

no regard for heart of others
who tide me over while you're gone
leaving cracks, slow to recover
leaving faces in their palms

Its been two years since we were in it,
but maybe that was just a phase
the time has come to face forgiveness
and forget those better days.

Given in
No more
False

To think
I'm redeemed
A fault

Forgivness is
Laced unto
Selfish pity

Your shame will be enteral,
your hope will shatter like glass.

Her voice will haunt you,
her face will strike regret in you.

You broke her heart,
and now you have enough courage to say your sorry.

Sorry can't fix the things she gave you,
sorry can't make me take back the nights I stayed up holding her from the pain you caused.

As my life gets so complex, I slowly massage my neck. I scratch my head knowing I’m truly dead. I can't begin to express my loneliness.  I can sit here in my room contemplating my doom.  This cloud of gloom won't pass me by. Alas, I don't know why.

You were a last reach at humanity. I guessed at the decision and got such a calamity.  All I wanted was a friend. Instead I lost all hope in the end of sanity.

As I felt my head leave my neck, you bagged my air and said what the heck; you tried your best, a feeble attempt, at a molesting order. I said look over your shoulder, a sky so blue and clear it removed the tears from my eyes as I said goodbye.

You so coldly left my body in such a disarrayed exposed to all on that horrible day.  In the back seat of a car, white in color, I always knew it would be a brother.  One with no sense of others only a frustration unto himself his impotency and broken mind has caused my death before it's time.

There is only one thing left to do as I cruse toward the judgment land. I'll ask god to forgive you.  As you walk this life, just remember your fall from grace and try to make a vow to always protect instead of ****,  To hold dear and get out of your own way make it clear you were to let go and to stay clear.

To learn and live, find another, begin again. Just remember your vow remains till time will end.  Your death could be eternal over and over again.  Through the non ending flames of his judgment, fear lives long, but forgiveness wins.

It is often the
most difficult task,
to forgive
Could you agree?

I am not very good
at it, I will admit
When all you want
is to get even
or to make the other(s)
hurt just as badly
as they hurt you...
that fuels the grudge

What is forgiveness?
Is it letting someone
off the hook?
Is forgivness
simply forgetting?
Is it saying the wrong
perpetrated upon us
is now OK?
That it really did not
hurt or offend us after all?

No, it is so much more
Forgiveness is not an act
of the emotions,
for they seem unable
to ever come to reason
and they often betray us

It is an act of the will,
a release not just for the other
but for ourselves
from the prison of
resentment and anger

Do we need to hear
an apology
to forgive?
No

Do we need to make sure
the other or others
receive justice?
No

What we need is to make that choice
To forgive even if we don't feel like it
To wait till we "feel like it" is a lie
It is like holding on to a poison that
only destroys ourselves
and not the ones we intended
for it to torment

Forgiveness doesn't mean
we now have amnesia
about the wrong
inflicted upon us
It just means
all resentment
and bitterness
no longer have us in
a vice-like grip

And if we refuse to forgive one
who is begging us for it
that person is stuck in a *******, too
Sometimes, we find it is us
that is in need of forgiveness
and sometimes it is
that very thing
that we need to
extend to ourselves  
so we can enjoy
being in our own skin

I am nobody to instruct another
about how to forgive
I am writing this partly for myself
It is one of the hardest things
for me,
to forgive
But when I am on the receiving end
it feels so beautiful and so freeing

To err is truly human
And to forgive is truly divine
It is not of our human nature
to simply forgive
but is a gift from God above
Even under the worst
of cruel situations
true forgiveness is possible

Stepping through my mind's eye, I can see clearly the things I want to see.
Visions materialize through imagination, making up the shores of my reality.
What is said of my imagination? Is my reality distinguishable from that which you can not see?
Where does that line begin? It seems to have a likeness of divinity.
What is it to be known when divinity touches my shore?
I want to be enlightened, with knowledge that I have never known before.
So many questions. So many things that are yet unknown to me.
Searching for myself. Trying to find the individual that I most want to be.
I want to be that person. The very best of what I can dream.
Sometimes it feels impossible, no matter what the odds may seem.
Still, I look for that inspiration. That very spark that will send me on my way.
I need to find it soon. I do not think I can wait another day.
Something...holding me back. I am not sure. I can not tell.
Something lingers from the past. Forgotten...left in my mind to dwell.
My sub conscience is telling me something. It is screaming for me to hear.
What it is I can not figure. It is this "not knowing" that I fear.
A time for searching begins. Time to look deep. Break down the walls around the pain.
Do I really want to know? Could be those very walls that have kept me sane.
Too many questions to ponder. Too many "if's" are holding me down.
I must prepare myself for the answers. Whatever the problem, I must turn it around.
Maybe...the problem does not lie in the past, but exists with me today.
Could it be the very thing I am looking for be in the present, formed with these words I say?
The solution seems twofold. A fork in the road can now be seen.
The past or the present? This decision affects the very essence of my being.
Perhaps, just perhaps, the answers lie along a different direction.
I should try to find another option while in this time of reflection.
What about my future? What would my future hold by dwelling in the past?
To be smothered in resentment? That is not the feeling that I want to have last.
I must not dwell in the past. I must use it for strength in today.
Without those mistakes I made, there would be no lessons to guide the way.
The solution does exist. It is hidden here in plain sight.
Make the decisions today, that will make my future seem bright.
Today is the key. Only today can I affect tomorrow.
To live in the moment...turn away from all the sorrow.
The past is the past. Can not change it. Must move on the better things.
Today is the moment. Live today so that we may not fear what the future brings.
That is the trick is it not? To forgive myself everyday for things gone wrong?
I must continue to learn. Continue to live the moment, and help my future to grow strong.
To decide for the future, I must accept that which is to be.
As long as I do the best I can, there will be no stopping me.
That is what I will do. Consider every decision as if it were my last.
Take nothing for granted. Learn everything. Life can go by pretty fast.
I have found direction. It is up to me to see it through.
Anything is possible. Let me see what it is that I can do.



Matt Segin
03/00

forgiveness,
easy to perceive,
hard to admit,
forever to achieve,
hard to permit

Who am i that God will trust in me so much?
I break all the rules,
all the time!
Who am I to say that his love will always last for me?
God says we are to ask for forgivness,
and it shall be granted.
but what happens when you've betrayed him for the millionth time?
Will he openly punish you?
What if you keep asking for forgivness
for the same thing
always saying "Lord, I'll never do it again!"
Why do we lie to those who care the most about us?
My Lord.
I love thee.
I need thee.
I know you'll never fail me.
So forgive me,
for my sins.
and i promise to you,
i'll try my HARDEST not to do it again.

Well what do you want me to say
you tell me all these
things and expect me to drop
******* everything to
come running to your doorstep...

no!

remember how you left
me?
why you left me..
it wasnt right you left me at the
time i needed you most

and i dont think ill ever
be able to forgive you.

Forgiveness is the greatest gift of all.
When we do something wrong,
yet someone catches our fall.
Like a parent that loves us unconditionally.
Even after we make mistakes,
they are still there to be.
Forgiving is hard to do, when we are so hurt.
some hold on to grudges,
and very few others would lend out their shirt.
When we forgive we show love in a strong way.
to show we can stop this cycle of hatred,
and continue each day.
Just as Jesus shed his blood on the cross for our sin.
We can too be examples of his love,
and with forgiveness- we win.
Don't hold on to the past of what someone else did.
for we don't see their struggles,
or the demons they hid.
We can choose forgiveness, and this --might need faith.
We can ask God for guidance and in his
love -bathe.

You tell me you're sorry,
that you apologize
that I have to know those
rumors were lies
I take one look into your eyes
and all of the pain
that I was feeling dies
people ask why
I forgive so easily
I say, it's because
I hate goodbyes.

C  Charitable with her heart
H  Honesty is her way
E  Eternally devoted to her faith and God
R  Riotously funny
I  Inspiration to others
E  Ever on the go

B  Best friend, that I never met
R  Routinely can be found playing Family Fued
I  Involved with her children
G  Graceful in forgivness
G  Gentle with her words
S  So thankful, am I, that we found each other

It all made sense now, the road map of my demise.

You could've **** me with your longing heart.
How could you let a broken painting get in the way?

How could you presume, a friendly rapport was feigned?

Why did you have to wait, till the dam can contain it no more?

I felt fate yanked my heart's strings, tangling it.
My brain, rupturing from the cruel deductions.
Tormented cranium—screws gouging out of it.

It all made sense now. Anger draws me towards retaliation. However, I choose not to bear arms; forgivness cries out.

I sever my hand against you, for I will not let this get in the way of our longing for each other.

I abhor hatred against you, because our sweet memories overwhelmed me; because I love you.

My exquisite geyserite, blossoming middlemist, and my Alma mater. I have never forgotten you, I never did—I never will.

sometimes we forgive hoping to forget
leave the past behind get rid of all regret.
sometimes to forgive is very hard to do
with the memories you have still inside of you.

you must find away to leave it all behind
you must find forgiveness erase it from your mind
open up your heart let yourself forgive
leave the past behind just move on and live.

You talk to me as if nothing is wrong
acting as if your the one
the victum
whos not getting along
but your ****** up and done
your venom leaking from your teeth
i swear i can almost smell your heat
you went and did the deed
and came back to me
calling me
begging saying sorry.

Waiting for my response
i couldn't move
i stayed still
feeling the breath inside me increase
with guilt
i stare at nothing but the white i see before me
you touch my hand
i start to cry
i pull away wanting to hide
how could you do it
i thought you loved me
a simple mistake that you know would hurt me
imposible to believe anything you say anymore
hearing her laugh at me
calling me names
was that ***** worth it
you cant even let me leave you
the image of me walking away
cuts you wide open
do you really think you deserve it?
my forgivness for a sin
a sin that you knew all too good
was my limit.

My heart aching with regret
how could this be
i took you back half heartedly
you hate when i bring it up
but you never seem to notice
the hole you left inside of me
you can barely even focuse

Yes i forgave you
yes i took you back
yes i put it behind me
but the pain does not lack
the hurt will stay with me forever
the memory will never change
the moment when you didnt think
you'd throw my trust away.

silence is what i heard when you slid into our bed
coldness is what i felt when you kissed my head
the distance between us is no mistake as the pillows can atest
my head turned, looking at the wall, wondering
remember me when you lay in his arms
as the tears creep down your cheeks
the guilt is yours, not mine anymore
i have made my plea for forgivness to you
i guess revenge is not your style

Begging for forgivness
Under the influence of my mistakes.
One simple word is all that it takes.
Tonight is my last stand,

I will reach to my temptation's hand.
The taunting voices cause my
Tears to flood,
Along with the constant shedding of my ****** blood.

Everyone can see what I have become.
That fact doesn't fase me,
Because my emotions are numb.
No one cared enough to try and

Change my views.
I turned on them.
There was nothing else
I could choose.

I can hear the things they say
As they whisper about what
I used to be.
Not even the man I love can set me free,

From the monster that is me.

i have to catch up on all you sent. but yes very intense, and been my life for years now. to tell the truth, longer. but good news we saved the world , we all did, turns out there is this guy in the boonies of the ozarks who they say seems to be tied to all existance or at least powerful people with pwerful toys tie events to his moods , and he like suddenly fixed it all in the blink of an eye, with the help of everyone and of course our good Lord, and Grace and Love. wow, who would have thought , some hillbilly with flaws and a tourtured life , intensified in the last ten or so years, turns out to be that guy, yep that guy with the job no man would ever wish to have, the job of intitiating the saving of all existence by making it so, simple as that. jack. here check it out and be sure to read all the other peoples posts in the maion area thatr are rather interesting in the effects the world has when a man feels it as much as he sure does. wow the guy feels a lot and i mean wow, so much so the world reflects what ever people do to him, glad all the world love and not hate, and are caring to ensure he is hapopy as he ensures he is happy, cause arent we all tied to the existance just the same, . well most i would suspect, but if it is  hypothetically just him that is, then i cant think of a better guy to have turned down the parts that were offered, and just did the job that was needed for all to benifit and not just be greedy like so many have been to him, he really did us all a service by just being that rather wonderful and kind man he realy is. i thank the guy. truly. here is a link.
http://hellopoetry.com/ricci-moon-scott-crow-moon/
hellopoetry.com
hellopoetry.com
Oh p.s., amazing how well balanced the guy is, no massive ego, no power tripping, just forgivness and kindness with a tantrum here and there as well, a real person should have. but, yeah, amazing and he is not too bad looking , well, if you are into that  sort of look, but i can forgive the odd things he does, i mean, could you imagine the stress a guy must have doing that job and never asking for it, in fact refused it time and time again so people would not worship or mistake him for some other guy. i mean wow, freaking thoughtful and careing guy, he even humiliated himself several times just to cause the argument to be realevent that he could in no way be the main power guy, cause chossen one or not, he sure a heck held the good things in the right and justly chose to give and also recieve the possitive and teach all that pain is real, and emotions are more, and well a bunch of stuff that said, hey open your mind and consider the odd things, whether true or not, cause we can not have a future of amazing and joyous if we limit our thinking and feeling, and he did it all under the eyes of the world, even editted to look like a bad guy, not unlike bane joker or some weird o who uses crayons to paint the scenes, yeah, some folks thought that would be fun, glad the world saw through the lie of those trying to harm him, his family and the world, cause he really withstood and seems many great people really sacrificed a lot to keep them safe, and i am grateful, turns out hes not a bad guy. even if he endulges in things we all turn a blind eye to it, i mean, come on, you seen that level of preassure in a job with no time off ever? 24/7 365  all day everyday. wow the guy is , okay. i guess. just hope i can do half what he tried to do, cause i am sure it took one heck of a toll and he is just ready to heal and enjoy saving it all, with the help of everyone and well all only by the grace of God, God's will not his nor anyone elses, God sure did save the day when this guy decided to say, hey, enough. and asked the lord for help. smile. you saved the world matthew. thank you. really, i mean it.

The darkness consumes my every thought dragging me to the corners of my mind.
There I find the memories of days gone by, hurt that was forgotten and joy never known.
My silent torment remains silent as the screams for help echo in the hollwness of the memories I store.
why won't they help me? Cant they hear me cry for someone to save me from myself, from that monster that haunts when I am unguarded and weak. That monster that stole my innocence that stole my childhood, and it wasn't alone as most monster aren't. God help the child trapped in this wretched soul for it is damaged and broken.
To repair a soul, a mind is almost impossible for you can't recover what was lost in a sea of darkess and fear. Forgivness would be a start to finding peace ost would say, but that is an elusive response to the evil that lurks in my memories, and futile to seek that which does not come.
I know the Lord has forgiven me for my past and sin, but I am not so easily persuaded to forive such hurt and betrayal of innocenece. The monster that brought the evil upon me is the worste some would say, but I beg to differ seeing the unknowing accomplice (those with the power to help but not the courage) the worste evil of them all and never worthy of forgivenenss.

i crave to be something special
special in all things
special in the way my tounge moves in a circular motion inside of your mouth and on your all too dry body
are you satisfied?
i dont really care who knows
i just hope that when you tell the story of lastnight your eyes light up and your hands move like i was something spectacular
all of my friends know
they know that you supply me with an indescribable loving that i wont let go of as long as im sane
your skin resembles my favorite chocolate bar but i can assure you that you are worth more than a dollar
your breath has become my favorite song and its been on repeat for a while now
sinning has never felt more beautiful
but yet i still ask for forgivness
all in the same prayer i give thanks for something so wonderful
my body throbs in anticipation on answers to why i deserve this
i wonder if you ever notice me watching you
i notice how your every step resembles a dance move
i love how you do all things that you do
i crave to be as special to you
as the everlasting love making of our souls

sudden inspiration floods the veins in my eyes
when the death of long lost thoughts prances near
you speak of me,--- beautifully my dear
and my anxiety cuts to the chase
who will claim the victory to the blood race

the red fluid which pumps souls
the char emotion that our hearts cant control
the steel weapons
the guilty pleasures that our hands cant hold
my intellect
my issue
was sold
to the most gracious one of them all
and here is where I think about how I should fall
to whom should my feeble knees crawl
and to think would any of it have even been worth the drift at all

poison creeks
I have memorized how he speaks
how he moves his eyes in such a way
to have me sway
into the black pool
shaded by a light arena of dreams

legs crossed in black lace
I feel no disgrace
no hinder in my sexuality
however nothing statifies me more than the thought that
I am  lady
and in my heart there is an army
and in my thoughts many dark alleys
forgivness finds its way into the darkness
steered by my hopeful persistence
on the magnificence marked in everyday

these things I know to be true...

behind the clouds,
the sky is blue.

if the grass is greener over there;
on the other side of the fence...
then someone is wasting water
in this drought.

if everyone is keeping up with
the jones's .
why are they so unhappy?

two wrongs don't make a right,
but four lefts make a square.

the sun will come out tomorrow,
but so may the clouds...

life is full of schmucks,
but if you're in luck.
the  schmuck you marry
may have some bucks.

there is, true love
there is, higher ground
there is forgivness.
you can find useful things
in the lost and found.
chocolate can be good for you.
you have to feed your soul.
and yes all that glitters
is definitely not gold.

there is no true way,
to grow old gracefully.
so make the best of it.
count each and every day
as a bonus....
                   for that is what it is!!!

I've told myself I'll never forgive you
For what you've done and said to me
But deep down I know you didn't
Truly Mean all that mean ****
I Eventually began to believe
You were hurt, I know I was too
But why didn't we stick together
And try to make it through?
The **** we were forced to deal with
It brought us closer
Even if only for a short time
But that's the past all of the good times
They're gone, all left behind
And I'm left with nothing but
Bitterness towards you
You can't expect me to know what to do
I won't apologize
Even if I realize
You were putting up a wall
A disguise
Its hard for you to show your emotions
To put them into action
So you get mad, an immediate reaction
But listen dad this is my way to say
I don't hate you
I just hate the things
that got in the way
Of our bright days
There were the times you were the only
One I had
When mom was in rehab
we really had
Eachother's backs
But look at us now,
We don't speak a single word
Mainly because I resent the past
The things we once said out of anger
were disturbingly absurd
But this isn't about what you did wrong
Or anything that went on in the past
I just want to give the forgivness
To you, so we can be in peace at last
You know, I need to stop and say to you
There isn't ever a day that goes by
When I don't think of you
When I don't think about all the good things you've done for us all
Yeah sometimes you weren't here but you never let us fall
Especially 17 years ago when I was just born
And you decided to stay with mom and me, when you
Could have just walked out the door
And I will never be able to say how much
That truly means to me
My dad, that, you will always be.
So,
Maybe one day ill have the power in my heart to read this to you
So you can understand,
And know the truth
I love you and
forgive you, dad,
This letter is my proof.