Honestly it's ******* killing me
Oh God! I want you to take me
Right here -  right
Now!  - every time I think of
You
Fantasy becomes my
Obsession
Reality dissolves - lost in the
Yearning for just
One ......... Kiss ......... I'm simply ......
U*tterly

***** For You!!*

(C) Pixievic

(C)ause
(R)eality
(U)nderstands,
(S)tolen
(H)earts

(S)ometimes
(O)verdo
(D)evoted
(A)dorations

Before
I** leave
Please know I
Only
Loved you when I
Absolutely knew
Reality was long gone

Don't believe
In much
Since you left
Or how to cry
Really it's just too
Difficult to
Even
Recognize your face

d o you want me to leave you so soon?
r eality can be a deadly thing, do you want to leave this dreamworld?
e scaping me can be hard
a nd loving me, even harder.
m aybe we can live in harmony, me & you
i magine the possibilities.
n othing can replace what we have,
g ot that?

i hope you don't take me to
s eriously, it's all just a game, laugh along.

m y oh my,
y ou really are a freak, lighten up *****, it's just a game.

o nly a crybaby would cry over something so small.
n arcissist *****, you think you're actually doing something great?
l ies are all they tell you, don't feed into their stupid postivity.
y ou're only as good as dust.

e ven as you write your pointless poetry hiding that you're
s cared to be alone,
c rying because you have no friends
a nd living up up in your head all day like a ******* idiot.
p lease, give me a break from your madness
e veryone can see you're just as pathetic as me.

There are so many things that I regret
The list is longer than I can write here
Each day brings more regrets
I regret that I do not learn from past regrets.

I regret not saying I am sorry
I regret not forgiving and moving on
I regret not being fully honest
I regret not letting you in
I regret...*

Reminders of past failures
Ever in the forefront of my mind
Getting lost in the confusion
Reality that I live in
Emotional
Trying and failing
Sorry

Always
Be
Careful
Don't
Ever
Fall from
Great
Heights
It
Just might
Kill you
Literally
Make
No mistakes
Only smile
Please, it's
Quite hard in
Reality but
So easy
To say
Usually people
Very quickly
Withdraw
X** marks the spot
You'll see, they'll soon just sleep
Zzzzz

S** un light gushing through the window on that summer afternoon, left me
A westruck as they bounced off your golden locks. You continued to create
M usic so surreal, I felt still asleep lost within a sweet dream.
U nleashing the darkest desires within my soul, you continued to
E ntrap me a little bit more every time we came into contact. Emotions,
L ost during my last battle with Cupid, were revived one by one.

R eality losing yet another battle with the phantom of the summer,
O ver-dozed on your boyish charms whilst suffering from an impatient heart.
W ild look in your eyes burns into mine, and as you speak I
L ong to kiss your lips with raving passion, hoping it would last an
E ternity and a little bit more. Maybe you will, maybe you won't, but just
S mile for now and play your music, 'cause it makes me "feel" again.

Then I wake--
Having the *worst nightmare of my life.
Either it was about *losing my mind, or my touch of
Reality. I know I'm already on a fine line with reality, anyways.
Every night I have this

Same nightmare.       What am I to do?
How can I make it stop?               Who do I call?
Everywhere I look I see people being               corrupted,

Going nowhere fast.     When is this going to stop?
Only time knows the answer.      I'll just have to wait.
Eternity should come soon and together we can
S****        a               new                   *beginning.

The fate of the hopeful....

                                               S    creaming

                                               T    owards

                                               A    ltered

                                               R    eality

why did you leave? Last time was bad enough,
he broke my heart,
even though he
never should have had it

Why can't you be online?
i* miss you and I
love you more than
life

You might never think of me, I might be the cloud
Over you head or maybe the monster
Under your bed

Reality is hard
enough with you, but now wherever I
turn there's darkness
Until you
Return my world is gray when you come back I will
never let you go again
*?

C rippling from the stares of the
Y ears that behold when
R eality struck quick
I rradiating where I abode, exposing the
L ife I wished to have not known
L iving in a masquerade to have
E nticed myself into the brink of the unknown

hair
        brown,long,straight
eyes
        blue,deep,blue
face­
        features defined,nothing she can hide,
body
         features defined,nothing she can hide,
                                  nothing she can hide,
                                  nothing she can hide,
body,                         nothing she can hide,
oh my god                                she’s ****.
                                      completely naked.
jesus christ her ****

****
sculpted so perfectly,pale peach raindrops   that     had    f
from the heavens dotted with the slightest hues of pinks  a
eyes                                                    ­                            l
     my eyes                                                             ­     l
            scroll d                                                               e
                     o                                                              n
­                     w
                      n
“can i look f u  r    t     h     e       r?”                                     her head nods
                                                            ­                        (does my mind deceive me?)
my eyes
      scroll like the wheel on a mouse
stomach
              my eyes touch her
stomach
              my sight touches her
stomach
          I
c                  an’t
u                nderstand
  r              eality,
  v          ­   erging
e                ver so closer,
d        o          i continue?
now I must think.
What is this ******
  this women
  but only an object
an object to my ****** fantasies
  no it cannot be!
I will not let this idea of objectivity be the end of
me
women are not objects
    never will be objects
               but if objects are not women,
is this reality of the girl that i see
only fantasy?
well will you look at me,
i’m not pretty,
i’m         ugly.
so the girl that i see
probably wouldn't ever,
                            never
take her clothes off for me
maybe
maybe
maybe
we were never supposed to want women
for they do not like what is ugly
                                              and ugly is me
(how can i see?)
i just want to love
i only want to love
           let me love
let me see please oh
                                  this body
this beautiful dream I see
    (it’s not real)
       (never real)
this love is only
                      may always be
a fantasy

Creating your thoughts into
Reality,letting your imaginations
Escape and form
Art to always live
Through your life and for
E*ver.

Words are the key to the door between
Reality and fantasy. Through writing, you can really see
Inside a person. You can learn their secrets, things they'd never
Tell anyone. Writing allows you to let others see
Inside you, for when
No one's looking you in the eye, it is easy to
G**ive them your heart.

T he sheets feel colder on your side as the
R ain drums a primal beat on the fogged window
A nd my eyes begin to flicker shut
N eglected by your gaze.
S lowly, you slide your feet to the floor and I reach forward
P rovoked by the quickened beating in my chest.
A m I really present?
R eality succumbed to twisted reverie
E ven though my hands are flesh, you do not see me
N ot since thoughts of Her danced before your eyes
T hen I became TRANSPARENT

E asy is nonexistent.
S orrow is upon us all.
C ant escape from reality.
A ll the pain is coming back.
P eople are surrounding me.
E veryone has left me though.

F reedom is all I want.
R eal freedom.
O f a different sort than the one I posse.
M ental turmoil is what I want to escape from.

R eality *****.
E scaping is all I want.
A lthough I'm scared of letting go.
L ove has a hold upon me.
I wish it wasn't there.
T hough I doubt you know.
Y ou are what I hold most dear.

D: ays seem to drag on, relentlessly.
E: ventually you feel like you should give up.
P: ersistent feelings of sadness, worthlessness, useless…
R: eality seems to be slowly fading away from your grasp.
E:motions are beginning to get harder and harder to hide from those you love.
S: o, you decide to tell someone about it.
S: adly, they don’t believe that what you’re going through is worth the heartache you feel.
I: t’s okay though, because you expected this reaction to happen.
O: bviously what you’re feeling is stupid and unimportant.
N: ow what?

D: epression sinks in and begins to…
O: verwhelm every sense you have.
E: verything is dramatized and there’s nothing you can do to stop the…
S: ting of words from those around you telling you to just “feel happier, let out the sadness”

N: eeds don’t seem important anymore, you just ignore them.
O: pening yourself up to other people is no longer an option.
T: hey only make you feel worse.

D: eciding to get the help you deserve was the hardest part.
E: very day is a new day with endless possibilities.
F: ocus only on the positive things that happen to you.
I: n hindsight this will allow you to slowly be able to differentiate between the things you have control over and those you leave to God.
N: ever again will I let people dismiss my feelings.
E: ach feeling you have is part of who you are becoming and allow us to be human.

W: hy hold back anything anymore?
H: ow you feel is so important and you need everyone to understand… to become more…
O: pen-minded to the things that they couldn’t possibly comprehend.

Y: ou are worth it.
O: ur lives matter.
U: nderestimated potential shall no longer be a problem.

A: nyone can change their perspective on life, they just need the right support group.
R: ealizing you’re worth it, is the most important thing you can open your heart to.
E: veryone matters.

JANUARY
J* oin other people who work together in
A ctivities because that
N otion expands the concept of
U nity in
A ll Corners  of life and teamwork can make you
R ealise something new about
Y ourself which you have never been aware of.

FEBRUARY
F eelings that
E xist in my heart
B reaks me  because they are not just
R egular feelings yet they are
U nconditional
A nd I am struggling to
R elinquish this innermost feelings because I am scared
Y ou might deny my heart which i kept for you to equip

MARCH
M any things are stripped
A way from us because we don't
R ealise or come into terms that we ought to
C herish and
H onour those that heaven specially blessed us wish.

APRIL
A lways know that God's
P romises shall be
R eceived and we should never be
I mpatient because he is the only master of our.
L ives.

MAY
M any things are
A chieved when
Y ou have developed a positive energy of that certain aspect you are doing.

JUNE
J ump
U p and down
N ever lose hope certainly
E verything shall work out.

JULY

J ustify why such
U nconditional feelings will eventually
L ose its value when i try to express how I truly feel about
Y ou.

AUGUST
A lways get
U p and
G o into the day without
U ncertainties of
S ome sort and
T he best you can be in that day.

SEPTEMBER
S omeday i will
E ventually be able to overcome the
P ain
T hat
E xists deep within
M e
B ut remember that i wished for our
E xistence to never end but i can't change the circumstances because
R eality is that we were never meant to be.

OCTOBER

O ceans are deep and the
C onditions of my sentment upon you are much more deeper than that of the ocean.
T oday marks a new story and a new life which i wish to persue with you, I don't have much to
O ffer thee my dear but I promise to
B e there for you whenever you need me in the
E ntire duration of your existence because I
R eally  feel greatness with your presence in my life.

NOVEMBER
N ever mistaken the conditions of my sentment because the feelings that exists are real
O ut of millions of people in the world you are the only one i exchange such
V ows of the sentment and
E very little thing i say is out of the deeepness of
M y heart
B e with me babe and
E veryday i will love you and
R aise our little ones into bright future leaders of tomorrow.

DECEMBER

D ear you can't be loved by
E veryone and you
C an't expect thing's to go your way.
E verything you do in life has it's own
M eaningful aspect which when carefully analysed it
B rings out a better vision of yourself and  daily we learn something new which shall
E ventually build us into
R espectable citizens of tomorrow.