A labyrinth of

cause and effect,

building blocks to make

The once wild view

distorted by harsh concrete



But such beautiful weeds

Meander through the cracks

Blossoming into

Unsuspecting flowers who

Struggle towards the light

That stung my eyes



The translucent film that once

Made the world a hazy existence,

Where I toed the line between

Life and death.

Dipping my toe over

The edge.



You tore it

and

The sun blinded me.

Plato’s final prisoner

But now I bathe

In the

Light

who knows if

this is just a game for you

whether your coming and going

like shuffling cards

will deal me out

when your fun is over



am I just

a constant

something to carelessly toss

like dice

unsure of the result

only caring for the thrill of the moment



is it love,

my love?

or is it just a gamble?

I want someone
Who will send me flowers on a Tuesday
And drive at 2am to hold me when I’m the furthest from being okay

Someone who will call just to say something reminded them of me
And know exactly what coffee I need to get through the day

I need someone
Who understands that when I try to push them away
I need them the closest
Someone who will look into my tired eyes
And tell me I’m beautiful even though I feel the furthest thing from it

I need someone
Who wants to know every vice, every moment that stains my past
Like tea on a childhood treasure map
Connecting the points
Silently accepting
That I’m far from perfect
But loving me anyway

I want you to look into my eyes and feel the fluorescent haze of the city evaporate, for time to stop like it does in the movies. Kisses in the rain. But movies are fiction, and I feel defeated for wanting a love that just doesn’t exist.

Well maybe it does
Just not from you.

how often
do I cross your mind
I wonder
as my mind is simply you

you do not worship at my altar
nor any at all
you are too free
perhaps I only weigh you down

who is it
that wanders through the darkroom of your heart
who is it
imprinted on each photo
head tilted back
wry smile playing on her lips

I cannot tell
for sometimes she looks a lot like me

then others
I am so far from being enough for you
that a day without me easily slips by

I feel your beauty stems from not belonging to anything
or anyone
Am I trying to trap a firefly
And dilute its glow to fuel my embers?
Is each "I love you" pulling you closer to earth
when you were born to fly

Red skittles
In my clenched fist
Holding on so tightly
That the dye bleeds
Crimson in my palm

I feel myself
Getting heavy at the wrists
As I cling on
No matter how my autonomy seeps
Into your waiting hands

Am I the sweet tang
Of sugar coated lust?

How many other delights
Have you tasted?

Do you crave me?

At first you made me feel
celestial

now I can feel
the force
of the universe
heavy
on my back
and
I
cannot
move
on