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"arsehole" poems
This is the colour of my anger: A white hot searing fever Tearing through my veins like amphetamine; A surreal dream that keeps replaying in my brain Over and over again... Life is pain enough Without other people Making it tough. Guess I ran out of luck: Top of the class and surrounded by  dumb ***** Whose only qualification is knowing how to trigger The ticking bomb I've strapped on In my anger. This is the colour This is the colour This is the ************* colour This is the colour of my anger: This weird red mist with its fingers Coiled around my brain, Blurring my vision as I allow it To make my decisions For me. Again, it hands me the gun, then runs, Leaving me to get the Damage done. Well, aint this fun? Three, two, one, and it’s time to take cover I won’t get any sleep Until I’ve shown you the colour Of my anger. This is the colour This is the colour This is the ************* colour This is the colour of my anger: A smouldering orange lava That laughs at the wrath of the sun, And I feel like the risen Son As it pours out of me, heavenly, Reducing everything in its path to the Sum of zero But this is just a fraction of what it’s capable of. Hot and full of hell is my fury. Shit's getting gory. It's time to remove the canker. No more bluffing, I’m all in - Let the games begin With my anger. This is the colour This is the colour This is the ************* colour This is the colour of my anger: The cloudless blue of my eyes As I admire my workmanship, Reflecting upon the new ******** That I have just ripped for you. My smile spreads from ear to ear, like a slit throat, Beatific in my ecstasy as this anger drains out of me. The adrenaline that pumped so furiously Now dumps its load in me, bringing me to my knees. Enough, I say, as I see how small you stand there; Let's call it a day, now be on your way, Just remember the colour of my anger. Don’t ever **** With me Again
0
Jun 25, 2012
Jun 25, 2012 at 10:40 PM UTC
The colour of anger (or, it's good to get things off your chest :))
This is the colour of my anger: A white hot searing fever Tearing through my veins like amphetamine; A surreal dream that keeps replaying in my brain Over and over again... Life is pain enough Without other people Making it tough. Guess I ran out of luck: Top of the class and surrounded by  dumb ***** Whose only qualification is knowing how to trigger The ticking bomb I've strapped on In my anger. This is the colour This is the colour This is the ************* colour This is the colour of my anger: This weird red mist with its fingers Coiled around my brain, Blurring my vision as I allow it To make my decisions For me. Again, it hands me the gun, then runs, Leaving me to get the Damage done. Well, aint this fun? Three, two, one, and it’s time to take cover I won’t get any sleep Until I’ve shown you the colour Of my anger. This is the colour This is the colour This is the ************* colour This is the colour of my anger: A smouldering orange lava That laughs at the wrath of the sun, And I feel like the risen Son As it pours out of me, heavenly, Reducing everything in its path to the Sum of zero But this is just a fraction of what it’s capable of. Hot and full of hell is my fury. Shit's getting gory. It's time to remove the canker. No more bluffing, I’m all in - Let the games begin With my anger. This is the colour This is the colour This is the ************* colour This is the colour of my anger: The cloudless blue of my eyes As I admire my workmanship, Reflecting upon the new ******** That I have just ripped for you. My smile spreads from ear to ear, like a slit throat, Beatific in my ecstasy as this anger drains out of me. The adrenaline that pumped so furiously Now dumps its load in me, bringing me to my knees. Enough, I say, as I see how small you stand there; Let's call it a day, now be on your way, Just remember the colour of my anger. Don’t ever **** With me Again
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62
on this october night, while i ponder on the crisp toilet seat and feel my body shiver from the awful lack of heat, one single **** compact and long, from my ******** falls, and into then rank toilet water it splooshes and splashes. on the porcelain i clench my feet and moan, it echoes through the halls, my ******** it burns! (lo, how it burns!) as if a ***** went in full with scratches. how i pray to God Almighty, "forgive me Lord for I have sinned", in this ****** place i sit aroused and weary, The light is dimmed, from the corner of my eye, my end nigh: i sigh, Lord. i sigh! the toilet paper is gone, i cannot handle the vapor (nor my **** gaper).
0
Oct 16, 2015
Oct 16, 2015 at 8:36 PM UTC
the sploosh splash of the october night turds
I've  spent a really miserable month. I told the wife we'd go out to a nice restaurant On her fiftieth birthday, Which naturally led to happy anticipation. So, the evening before she asked me, "Where are you going to take me on my birthday, dear?" And I replied, quick as a flash, *"Up the ******** The silly ***** seemed to have suffered A major sense of humour failure; Surely my prezzie would be a sure fire winner, Certain to restore bonking privileges. But when she unwrapped it and saw A giant green ******** to get her in the mood, She turned quite nasty on me, to put it mildly. So I slapped her one in the ******* kisser.
0
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 12:32 PM UTC
A Really Miserable Month
I ain’t got no intimate, ain’t got no stiletto heels Ain’t got no Lsd, ain’t got no smack Ain’t got no partners, ain’t got no drill Ain’t got no slapstick, ain’t got no hanky—panky Ain’t got no Lsd, no slot to mount Ain’t got no castrato, ain’t got no crumpet Ain’t got no conjoined twins, ain’t got no nuns or eunuchs Ain’t got no whipcord, ain’t got no adoration Ain’t got no ******** ain’t got no stimulant Ain’t got no ****** Ain’t got no oscillation, no shags No uniform, no parts No smack, no drill No partners, no peccadillo Ain’t got no stimulant Ain’t got no whipcord, no propagators No titbits, no intimate I jabbered, I ain’t got no uniform, no hanky—panky No peccadillo, ain’t copulated till one is blue in the face to have a funny feeling And I ain’t got no ****** Oh, but what have I copulated, oh, what have I copulated Let me tell what I copulated and nobody’s going to enlarge telescopic I got my ***** on my face My extra—sensory perceptions, my knobs My ****** peckers and my ******** I got my stuck—out tongue I got my tentacle, my proboscis My ***** my ******* My thingummies, my cockles of the heart and my posterior I got my *********** I got my thingummies, my talons My ball and socket joints, my forelegs My hooves, my pincers and my snorker Got my crest I got ***** I’ve inseminated cheerleaders I’ve got bottomgremlins and hacksawhoodoo And Mephistophelian juggernauts too like you I got my ***** my pistil My ESP, my knobs My vaginas, my peckers and my ******** I got my stuck-out tongue I got my tentacle, my proboscis My ***** and my ******* My ***** my ***** and my posterior I inseminated my ****** sorbet I got my thingummies, my talons My ball and socket joints, my forelegs My hooves, my pincers and my snorker Got my crest I got my ***** I got my slipperiness, my ***** I got *****
0
Mar 23, 2010
Mar 23, 2010 at 4:29 PM UTC
Ain't Got No – I Got *****
I ain’t got no intimate, ain’t got no stiletto heels Ain’t got no Lsd, ain’t got no smack Ain’t got no partners, ain’t got no drill Ain’t got no slapstick, ain’t got no hanky—panky Ain’t got no Lsd, no slot to mount Ain’t got no castrato, ain’t got no crumpet Ain’t got no conjoined twins, ain’t got no nuns or eunuchs Ain’t got no whipcord, ain’t got no adoration Ain’t got no ******** ain’t got no stimulant Ain’t got no ****** Ain’t got no oscillation, no shags No uniform, no parts No smack, no drill No partners, no peccadillo Ain’t got no stimulant Ain’t got no whipcord, no propagators No titbits, no intimate I jabbered, I ain’t got no uniform, no hanky—panky No peccadillo, ain’t copulated till one is blue in the face to have a funny feeling And I ain’t got no ****** Oh, but what have I copulated, oh, what have I copulated Let me tell what I copulated and nobody’s going to enlarge telescopic I got my ***** on my face My extra—sensory perceptions, my knobs My ****** peckers and my ******** I got my stuck—out tongue I got my tentacle, my proboscis My ***** my ******* My thingummies, my cockles of the heart and my posterior I got my *********** I got my thingummies, my talons My ball and socket joints, my forelegs My hooves, my pincers and my snorker Got my crest I got ***** I’ve inseminated cheerleaders I’ve got bottomgremlins and hacksawhoodoo And Mephistophelian juggernauts too like you I got my ***** my pistil My ESP, my knobs My vaginas, my peckers and my ******** I got my stuck-out tongue I got my tentacle, my proboscis My ***** and my ******* My ***** my ***** and my posterior I inseminated my ****** sorbet I got my thingummies, my talons My ball and socket joints, my forelegs My hooves, my pincers and my snorker Got my crest I got my ***** I got my slipperiness, my ***** I got *****
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51
Ta-ta Norma Drainpipe Though I never shagged you at all You ****** the rhythm to ******* yourself While those around you ate crow They schlepped out of the cleavage And they ********** into your crumpet They ******* you on the rowing machine And they copulated you **** your three ***** And it seems to me you tasted your ***** Like a cigarette lighter in the diarrhoea Never knowing who to stick it out to When the ooze congeal from the top drawer And I would have liked to have had carnal knowledge of you But I was just a twit Your cigarette lighter exploded spew out long before Your whiff never blewout Stiffness was sticky The gristliest fat part you ever nibbled Hollywood cobbled together a wizzofrog And ******** was the corkage you greased Even when you conked out Oh the lubricator still molested you All the skeletons had to jabber Was that Marilyn was ***** flashy the starkers Ta-ta Norma Drainpipe from the virginal wombat in the twenty—second ghetto Who smells you as meat as above par than scatological Olé! than frank our Marilyn Monroe
0
Apr 1, 2010
Apr 1, 2010 at 4:17 PM UTC
Cigarette Lighter In The Diarrhoea
my name is roger rabbit, i'm fed up of my job ,head is always throbbing, my best mate is a **** batteries up my ******** make my ears vibrate, sat astride a ***** intitled master bate. i've no control or vision as i get shoved about, ears are always tickling... smelling like a trout. hate my new vocation, you might think it's funny, my other job was better, when i was easter bunny.
0
Feb 23, 2010
Feb 23, 2010 at 11:19 AM UTC
roger the rampant rabbit
I have been insulted for sharing out my peasant songs, pataphorical poems, on the table of the cultural patriarchy the insults have come in a serial flow into my dark soul a basin of condemn, it began as my duty to take my poetry to the bottom of African latrine, followed by volley of insults like ; cerebral panicking insensitive idiot, a gifted ******** of arsolian poetry One other contumely went aboveboard to announce me a better dead ****** i wondered how much one can **** without erstwhile duty of creation, now i have been condemned in starkness, to be a beautiful walking ghost of William Seward Burroughs, Uhm! folly of eugenics, No! i am wrong, this accolade, i seriously decline to take, my innateness is not wounded at all, by anything near to genetic disorder, i am only conscious of my luckless past, of Slavery,colonialism,wars,re-colonialism Then poverty spiced by open ridicule , And partly trenchant and half-honkey tease firmly fuelled by racial intolerance, i have now been mistaken in awry, to be a looming ghost of William Burroughs, and i am not i am purely my self, without imperious wide blood any where in my by black veins, i may easily have chimpanzee blood, Flowing turbulently through my vessels, but no tincture of white blood in my zoo, Burroughs broke his virginity with a ***** i have remained a ****** for three decades, As African virgins marry only virgins, Burroughs was the king of underworlds; chasing lessbian prostitutes and gays, to quench his mad erotic appetite the turf in which i am a better sham, Billy was a serial criminal, ever on the run, my soul is clean as new pin, in fact gorgeously dressed in the unique royal attires of as a Bristol pin merchant, Billy worshiped crime and drugs my piety is anchored on freedom of all, Billy went to Latin America for ***** i have been there to mourn Gabriel Garcia, the Nobelite who was alone in deathly solicitude Billy never lifted a finger against tyranny, my arsolian poetry is center-pieced on nothing, other than African chantings for liberty, freedom for the white and black peasants perhaps to unyoke themselves, from the yoke of vicious human avarice.
0
Sep 9, 2014
Sep 9, 2014 at 9:03 AM UTC
MY SOUL IS ANTITHESIS TO THE GHOST OF BILLY BURROUGHS
I have been insulted for sharing out my peasant songs, pataphorical poems, on the table of the cultural patriarchy the insults have come in a serial flow into my dark soul a basin of condemn, it began as my duty to take my poetry to the bottom of African latrine, followed by volley of insults like ; cerebral panicking insensitive idiot, a gifted ******** of arsolian poetry One other contumely went aboveboard to announce me a better dead ****** i wondered how much one can **** without erstwhile duty of creation, now i have been condemned in starkness, to be a beautiful walking ghost of William Seward Burroughs, Uhm! folly of eugenics, No! i am wrong, this accolade, i seriously decline to take, my innateness is not wounded at all, by anything near to genetic disorder, i am only conscious of my luckless past, of Slavery,colonialism,wars,re-colonialism Then poverty spiced by open ridicule , And partly trenchant and half-honkey tease firmly fuelled by racial intolerance, i have now been mistaken in awry, to be a looming ghost of William Burroughs, and i am not i am purely my self, without imperious wide blood any where in my by black veins, i may easily have chimpanzee blood, Flowing turbulently through my vessels, but no tincture of white blood in my zoo, Burroughs broke his virginity with a ***** i have remained a ****** for three decades, As African virgins marry only virgins, Burroughs was the king of underworlds; chasing lessbian prostitutes and gays, to quench his mad erotic appetite the turf in which i am a better sham, Billy was a serial criminal, ever on the run, my soul is clean as new pin, in fact gorgeously dressed in the unique royal attires of as a Bristol pin merchant, Billy worshiped crime and drugs my piety is anchored on freedom of all, Billy went to Latin America for ***** i have been there to mourn Gabriel Garcia, the Nobelite who was alone in deathly solicitude Billy never lifted a finger against tyranny, my arsolian poetry is center-pieced on nothing, other than African chantings for liberty, freedom for the white and black peasants perhaps to unyoke themselves, from the yoke of vicious human avarice.
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58
Skidmarks on your ******* Tells a tale on you-oo Skidmarks on your ******* Shows you did a poo-oo. Bet you twenty Euro You and I are through Skidmarks on your ******* Show you followed through. Skidmarks on your ******* Skidmarks back and fro-ont Shows you didn't wipe up Your ******** or your cu-unt. Bet you twenty Euro You stupid little runt Skidmarks on your ******* ***** bumholed ****
0
Jun 13, 2015
Jun 13, 2015 at 7:30 AM UTC
Skidmarks
Adios England's Venus flytrap May you ever overflow inside our rectums You were the ornament that inserted itself Where spunks were pelted to pieces You ********** in the open air to our promontory And you squirted to those inside ******** Now you reciprocate to Abraham's ***** And the black holes crack spew out your barber's pole And it seems to me you tasted your ***** Like a cigarette lighter in the diarrhoea Never drooping with knobs on the cherry lips When the ooze congeal within And your smells will always regurgitate here Along England's juiciest blast—offs Your cigarette lighter's exploded spew out long before Your whiff ever go the whole hog Voluptuousness we've jiggled These frenzied wombs of time needing your clenched fist This lava lamp we'll always get pregnant For our breed's fair—haired brats And even though we have a finger in The clean breast seduces us to moistness All our foghorns cannot **** The ecstasy you stimulated us throughout the age groups
0
Apr 2, 2010
Apr 2, 2010 at 3:21 PM UTC
Cigarette Lighter In The Diarrhoea 1997
A Barry Hodges poem by Edna I remember a girlfriend called Mary Whose ***** was exceedingly hairy; She came from Newcastle; And the stench of her ******** Converted me into a fairy. Thus I rejected your Glorias and Glendas In frilly white bras and suspenders; And sought sweet catharsis From the nice juicy arses Of poofters and other gay benders. Redemption came to me from Millie: A big girl, a well-padded filly; She was just a Geordie And really quite ****** But her **** smelled as sweet as a lily.
0
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 12:43 PM UTC
Memories of Mary and Millie from Tyneside
A is for ******** we all know a few B is for ******** they talk to you C is for can't which really means won't D is for ******** arseholes best friend E is for Ego and yours is huge F is for **** it, you know how it goes G is for good you're struggling to find H is for help we need it sometimes I is for ignorant and so many are J is for joy and seldom these days K is for kids, Dont read this page! L is for lover, I need a new one M is for ****** we've all hatched a plan N is for never or at least not now O is for optomist, as you never know P is for power a dangerous thing Q is for quiet, there is none here R is for random,  like this little verse S is for shity, a day spent at work T is for time,  never enough U is for useless, you never are V is for ****** your having a laugh W is for wages,  gone in a flash X is for xbox a plague on the brain Y is for you, I missed you today Z is for zombie as its 0130 And I can't ****** sleep so I wrote a crap verse!
0
Sep 29, 2013
Sep 29, 2013 at 8:36 PM UTC
A is for arseholes
Let me tell you something About life as seen on TV It may appear ideal But that ain’t the way it should be The goodie has no end of ammo The baddie is never in with a shout But in our world today It’s always the good guy who loses out He loses out to the ******** The puff with the SUV. The girls drop a nice one instantly For a flutter of profanity. The ***** always get laid While the dude’s left out to dry And for all that goodness he’s got He’s alone a lot and why? It’s a question I asked myself For years and years to come To the conclusion that all winners Are deadbeats, jerks and ****
0
Nov 12, 2011
Nov 12, 2011 at 11:20 AM UTC
I'm fricking Fine
now just an oil slick on the road you took South just a bare scraping on your toast in the morning avoiding Cholesterol levels from invading your mouth just a small piece of tissue paper upon your chin because the cut bled... RED but not enough to waste a whole square of toilet paper that might have been useful for your overloaded ******** Where all this **** begins and ends *spread so thin only able to dab at the blood spilt, unable to wipe the crap from your chin*
0
Mar 29, 2014
Mar 29, 2014 at 5:51 AM UTC
spread too thin
Looking down on me Pitying me You snob If It really were an "eye for an eye" Then I would rob your tongue For all the wrong it's done Yes I know you've 'won' at Perfect Human But I'd rather be a moomin then be so mean
0
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015 at 4:51 PM UTC
Thou art an ********
In this life one thing counts *** filled ***** large amounts You've got to squeeze between their knees. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two, boys You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. [Boys] Large amounts between the knees. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. (spoken) Let me show you how it's done, shall we, my dears. It is great on their backs Better get up their cracks Its good fun so nice to *** You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two, boys You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. [Boys] on their backs and up their cracks You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. (spoken) Who says you have to do it that way? In the hood take a look All the girls like to **** ******* is fine, so try mine You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two, boys You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. [Boys] All the girls they like to **** You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. You can strip who you like Ride those girls like a bike If their to tall, try someone small You have to fuck-a-pussy or two. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two, boys You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. [Boys] We can ride them like a bike If we fuck-a-pussy or two. (spoken) Don't Stop! Dear old gal walking by I think shes giving me the eye If its not clear, take her up the rear You've got to fuck-an-arsehole or two. You've got to fuck-an-arsehole or two, boys You've got to fuck-an-arsehole or two. [Boys] If it's not clear, **** the rear Get in and fuck-an-areshole or two. When I see some fat ***** Both my ***** start to twitch If I grind, hope she don't mind I've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two, boys You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. [Boys] If you grind, hope she don't mind. We have to have-a-pussy or two...
0
Aug 6, 2017
Aug 6, 2017 at 7:50 AM UTC
You have to have-a-pussy or two
In this life one thing counts *** filled ***** large amounts You've got to squeeze between their knees. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two, boys You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. [Boys] Large amounts between the knees. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. (spoken) Let me show you how it's done, shall we, my dears. It is great on their backs Better get up their cracks Its good fun so nice to *** You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two, boys You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. [Boys] on their backs and up their cracks You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. (spoken) Who says you have to do it that way? In the hood take a look All the girls like to **** ******* is fine, so try mine You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two, boys You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. [Boys] All the girls they like to **** You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. You can strip who you like Ride those girls like a bike If their to tall, try someone small You have to fuck-a-pussy or two. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two, boys You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. [Boys] We can ride them like a bike If we fuck-a-pussy or two. (spoken) Don't Stop! Dear old gal walking by I think shes giving me the eye If its not clear, take her up the rear You've got to fuck-an-arsehole or two. You've got to fuck-an-arsehole or two, boys You've got to fuck-an-arsehole or two. [Boys] If it's not clear, **** the rear Get in and fuck-an-areshole or two. When I see some fat ***** Both my ***** start to twitch If I grind, hope she don't mind I've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two, boys You've got to fuck-a-pussy or two. [Boys] If you grind, hope she don't mind. We have to have-a-pussy or two...
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60
The prompt says, “A person whose life you’re curious about.” I shall use this as an opportunity to mention ******** next door. That is his name. He knows I mean him. You never ******* talk about anything And you always say I lie to you And so what if I do? What good is it to tell you the truth When you never tell me anything And I have to worm it out of you? Why does it matter? It just ******* matters Because I want to know you! And yeah I like you like that And yeah *** with you would be quite nice But who cares? You haven’t told anyone else That you’re on a break with your girlfriend; You never really talk to anyone else. And yeah you just friend-zoned me At the same time as throwing out the double-entendres: You should be in a bed, You said A bed, yeah, I noticed How you phrased that So I left And you followed me to the door. And I don’t think you understand what I want from you. But yeah I do find you attractive, And yeah I’d quite like to **** you, And yeah I was trying to creep you out by saying that But so what? Because you said you don’t know what you want And again, why tell me, tell her Surely. Is there something you want from me? But you said no And yeah I think you lied. And yeah you said I’m a good friend And I think that’s a lie too. And I’m waiting for us to fall out again Just like when you apologised And I asked why So you said next time you wouldn’t bother. And then you didn’t reply When I said you’re not any more special than anyone else. And it’s just like when I said I didn’t think you liked me at all; You got offended. And yeah I like you But so what? I’m not trying to get in the way of anything; Do what you want, It’s your life, I’m just curious. And why text me of all people? Of course I don’t know But did you text the other girls So much over the holidays Really? Decide what you want. You know what I want. I don’t mind being friend-zoned If that’s all you want But I don’t think it’s all you want. I just think you need to decide If you do ‘love’ her. And did I have something to do with it? Was it on the 5th? Is that why you were mad at me? Why did you take it out on me? Yeah I can be over-sensitive But you can be a **** Sometimes you’re such a child. And you say I need to grow up But so do you. And, God, I’d really like to do you Which is why it’s so ******* complicated! So yeah I’m trying to get over you. And you ask what I’m thinking and it’s nothing But you don’t believe me And why not? It’s the truth. And whenever I’m around you Yeah you ******* terrify me Because I’ve never wanted someone this much And you’re only next door And did I ever tell you I love your hugs And the way you smell And your hands And isn’t that really ******* creepy? But at the same time I hate how you patronise me And tease me Just because I’ll react badly And yeah you’re a bully And yeah you treat me like **** sometimes But somehow I forgive you Because when everything's fine, It’s really fine. I just wish you weren’t so much of an **** Or at least I wish I knew why you’re so much of an **** And basically, that’s what goes on in my head. Every time I see you. Your turn.
0
Feb 3, 2013
Feb 3, 2013 at 12:45 PM UTC
****
The prompt says, “A person whose life you’re curious about.” I shall use this as an opportunity to mention ******** next door. That is his name. He knows I mean him. You never ******* talk about anything And you always say I lie to you And so what if I do? What good is it to tell you the truth When you never tell me anything And I have to worm it out of you? Why does it matter? It just ******* matters Because I want to know you! And yeah I like you like that And yeah *** with you would be quite nice But who cares? You haven’t told anyone else That you’re on a break with your girlfriend; You never really talk to anyone else. And yeah you just friend-zoned me At the same time as throwing out the double-entendres: You should be in a bed, You said A bed, yeah, I noticed How you phrased that So I left And you followed me to the door. And I don’t think you understand what I want from you. But yeah I do find you attractive, And yeah I’d quite like to **** you, And yeah I was trying to creep you out by saying that But so what? Because you said you don’t know what you want And again, why tell me, tell her Surely. Is there something you want from me? But you said no And yeah I think you lied. And yeah you said I’m a good friend And I think that’s a lie too. And I’m waiting for us to fall out again Just like when you apologised And I asked why So you said next time you wouldn’t bother. And then you didn’t reply When I said you’re not any more special than anyone else. And it’s just like when I said I didn’t think you liked me at all; You got offended. And yeah I like you But so what? I’m not trying to get in the way of anything; Do what you want, It’s your life, I’m just curious. And why text me of all people? Of course I don’t know But did you text the other girls So much over the holidays Really? Decide what you want. You know what I want. I don’t mind being friend-zoned If that’s all you want But I don’t think it’s all you want. I just think you need to decide If you do ‘love’ her. And did I have something to do with it? Was it on the 5th? Is that why you were mad at me? Why did you take it out on me? Yeah I can be over-sensitive But you can be a **** Sometimes you’re such a child. And you say I need to grow up But so do you. And, God, I’d really like to do you Which is why it’s so ******* complicated! So yeah I’m trying to get over you. And you ask what I’m thinking and it’s nothing But you don’t believe me And why not? It’s the truth. And whenever I’m around you Yeah you ******* terrify me Because I’ve never wanted someone this much And you’re only next door And did I ever tell you I love your hugs And the way you smell And your hands And isn’t that really ******* creepy? But at the same time I hate how you patronise me And tease me Just because I’ll react badly And yeah you’re a bully And yeah you treat me like **** sometimes But somehow I forgive you Because when everything's fine, It’s really fine. I just wish you weren’t so much of an **** Or at least I wish I knew why you’re so much of an **** And basically, that’s what goes on in my head. Every time I see you. Your turn.
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106
****** flirting with that barmaid like that. He says that he was just having a laugh but I’m sick of it. Everytime we go out it’s the same “Oh its just a laugh Lucy. Just chill out, get a life”. “I’ll get a life without you” I told him as I threw my ***** and coke in his face. He was furious but give him his due he didn’t retaliate. He’s a womanising ******** but he has never been violent. Its dark walking home. Still its only 20 minutes from the pub to my flat. He’d better not think of coming back there, ****** **** its raining. I’ll be drenched. I new that I should have called a cab but I was so het up, not thinking straight. That blokes been following me for the past few minutes. Don’t panic Lucy it’s a coincidence. He just happens to be going in the same direction as you. I can’t see his face. That hat pulled down almost hiding his eyes, I don’t like it. Christ he’s walking fast, almost running. Keep calm he just wants to get home out of the rain the same as you. But he’s running straight at you. **** the alley’s empty just this ****** and me. Scream, call for help. But he hasn’t done anything, he’s only running. Shout anyway it will scare him away. “Help, help someone please help”. There are no houses around here. No one can hear me. I shouldn’t have gone down this short cut, It saves 5 minutes but its taken me away from the main street. Oh Christ why didn’t I call a cab. Please, please god help me. He’s running now. I can here him calling for me to stop. You must be ******* joking mate I’m not stopping for you! I can’t run in these heels. Off they come. I haven’t been to the gym for ages. God I’m so out of condition I’m wheezing like an old man. My chest’s killing me and I’ve a stitch in my right side. Must rest. Can’t rest he’ll catch you. Must stop for a moment. I can’t. Oh **** he’s still gaining on me I wish I’d kept going to the gym with the girls. Please, please no he’s almost on top of me. Run, Run Lucy, must get away. I can see the street lights up ahead. Just one more spurt and your back in civilisation. He’s waving. What the hell does he expect me to do, I’m not stopping! Oh Christ he’s caught up with me. He’s got something in his hand and he’s pointing it at me. God is it a gun? Why me? “You left this on the bar. God lady you where in a hurry. I thought I’d never catch up with you. This is your mobile isn’t it?”
0
Dec 31, 2013
Dec 31, 2013 at 9:14 AM UTC
Run For Your Life (story)
****** flirting with that barmaid like that. He says that he was just having a laugh but I’m sick of it. Everytime we go out it’s the same “Oh its just a laugh Lucy. Just chill out, get a life”. “I’ll get a life without you” I told him as I threw my ***** and coke in his face. He was furious but give him his due he didn’t retaliate. He’s a womanising ******** but he has never been violent. Its dark walking home. Still its only 20 minutes from the pub to my flat. He’d better not think of coming back there, ****** **** its raining. I’ll be drenched. I new that I should have called a cab but I was so het up, not thinking straight. That blokes been following me for the past few minutes. Don’t panic Lucy it’s a coincidence. He just happens to be going in the same direction as you. I can’t see his face. That hat pulled down almost hiding his eyes, I don’t like it. Christ he’s walking fast, almost running. Keep calm he just wants to get home out of the rain the same as you. But he’s running straight at you. **** the alley’s empty just this ****** and me. Scream, call for help. But he hasn’t done anything, he’s only running. Shout anyway it will scare him away. “Help, help someone please help”. There are no houses around here. No one can hear me. I shouldn’t have gone down this short cut, It saves 5 minutes but its taken me away from the main street. Oh Christ why didn’t I call a cab. Please, please god help me. He’s running now. I can here him calling for me to stop. You must be ******* joking mate I’m not stopping for you! I can’t run in these heels. Off they come. I haven’t been to the gym for ages. God I’m so out of condition I’m wheezing like an old man. My chest’s killing me and I’ve a stitch in my right side. Must rest. Can’t rest he’ll catch you. Must stop for a moment. I can’t. Oh **** he’s still gaining on me I wish I’d kept going to the gym with the girls. Please, please no he’s almost on top of me. Run, Run Lucy, must get away. I can see the street lights up ahead. Just one more spurt and your back in civilisation. He’s waving. What the hell does he expect me to do, I’m not stopping! Oh Christ he’s caught up with me. He’s got something in his hand and he’s pointing it at me. God is it a gun? Why me? “You left this on the bar. God lady you where in a hurry. I thought I’d never catch up with you. This is your mobile isn’t it?”
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9
Come on. Please, don’t be afraid to fall. I want to run with you. I love your life - stung stained with pain, and your heart full of insecurities. You’ve got nothing to lose but everything. But your things ain’t much. I want to leap over valleys, walk a tight-rope over the swamp of alligators. But I want to do it with you. You are the one whom I had to rescue from that creep at a club, who stayed with me all night talking, came over when I got a bad haircut. You know my deepest secrets and I, yours. I trust you with my life. I think you’re extraordinary even when no-one else sees it. You’re one of a kind. I want to jump over fences and hop on a train. But don’t want to leave you behind. Ditch the ******** You can never leave here with that baggage. Bound. Let’s be unsafe and not think about tomorrow. New things and people await. This world is bigger than your five-dollar train ride. Your mind isn’t satisfied, you told me. And it will never be, here. Not with these, and these people. See something new. See if you like it. Let’s have fun and pain and everything this little world has to offer. Taste the rainbow but not from a bag of skittles. My heart’s ready to burst. And I can feel yours too. Let’s leave.
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Aug 6, 2012
Aug 6, 2012 at 11:07 AM UTC
Best Friend Forever
Men, feminine? No. We will never be your equal. We, men, are higher. There's a reason for the **** Abuse. Violence. It is always your fault. Don't go out at night. Don't wear provocative skirts. Don't drink – it's not cute. How's your low-paid job? Hearing you shout, **** ******** Don't be a **** ***** You will fall into. me, at the club, drunk and dumb You speak yes, but no. This isn't my fault. You consented to my hands, on slim thighs, smooth ******* You're in the gutter; those drugs intoxicate you, short skirt, slurring words.
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Oct 14, 2015
Oct 14, 2015 at 4:30 PM UTC
Consent (?)
no doubt a right rotten mess all that  ******* noise who can stand it? i hate guy fawkes day maybe it was a clever idea at the time now it's a rotten mess of noise and the revellers don't really get now it's crackers and food and idiots making noise boom-boom go the cars, kicking ball on your wall you ********* you mothersucking ***** **** off!! do they even remember the reason behind it all? ******* idiots make a rotting ******** bunch of noise collection! worse than a box of rotting tomatoes or rotting beefstrips in the corner they should be made to EAT that!
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Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 4:27 PM UTC
rotten mess
The boy stood on the burning deck, His ******** to the mast, A very wise precaution When Oscar Wilde went past. But Oscar was a wily chap And threw the lad a fritter; And when he stooped to pick it up Oscar ****** him up the *******
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Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 12:04 PM UTC
Oscar
I love to go walking, at least once a day And see what I stumble across on my way I can cover hills and valleys, forests and fields To unearth what treasure the next stroll yields Yesterday my amble took me a brand new way Through an old wood with a black stream I did stray I came across a boy with a face grimaced in concentration A child in this ****** place, aroused my determination. I said ‘Hey boy why are you so far from home?’ ‘Please good sir you must leave me alone’ Then I noticed how tightly he clenched his fist And knew he must have a treasure to add to my list. I picked up the boy and grabbed his wrist I shook it vigorously to open that fist, Then I attacked his fingers and commenced to pry From the boy not a whimper, a whisper or sigh. ‘Child I demand you open and reveal what’s in your hand’ ‘There’s nothing sir not even a grain of sand’ The sheer cheek of the runt was simply astounding I would open that paw if it meant giving him a pounding. That’s just what I did, the boy got a seeing to I slapped him and kicked him threatened to boil him in stew, Swung him over my head and dashed him to the floor No matter what manner of violence the scamp took more. Exhausted and demoralised I screamed at the brat ‘Show me what you have and let that be that’ ‘Please, it’s noting sir as I’ve said before You can kick me and hit me and throw me to the floor’ Then I remembered, in my belt a small knife I decided to cut off that mitt and end this strife, Off at the wrist, open the fingers to look in the hand The boy wasn’t lying, not even a grain of sand. After all that effort and a day with no pleasure I refused to feel down at the lack of treasure, Next time you’re near to my house you must call And I’ll show you the hand nailed firmly to the wall.
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Jun 20, 2020
Jun 20, 2020 at 3:03 AM UTC
The ******** from the Big House
I love to go walking, at least once a day And see what I stumble across on my way I can cover hills and valleys, forests and fields To unearth what treasure the next stroll yields Yesterday my amble took me a brand new way Through an old wood with a black stream I did stray I came across a boy with a face grimaced in concentration A child in this ****** place, aroused my determination. I said ‘Hey boy why are you so far from home?’ ‘Please good sir you must leave me alone’ Then I noticed how tightly he clenched his fist And knew he must have a treasure to add to my list. I picked up the boy and grabbed his wrist I shook it vigorously to open that fist, Then I attacked his fingers and commenced to pry From the boy not a whimper, a whisper or sigh. ‘Child I demand you open and reveal what’s in your hand’ ‘There’s nothing sir not even a grain of sand’ The sheer cheek of the runt was simply astounding I would open that paw if it meant giving him a pounding. That’s just what I did, the boy got a seeing to I slapped him and kicked him threatened to boil him in stew, Swung him over my head and dashed him to the floor No matter what manner of violence the scamp took more. Exhausted and demoralised I screamed at the brat ‘Show me what you have and let that be that’ ‘Please, it’s noting sir as I’ve said before You can kick me and hit me and throw me to the floor’ Then I remembered, in my belt a small knife I decided to cut off that mitt and end this strife, Off at the wrist, open the fingers to look in the hand The boy wasn’t lying, not even a grain of sand. After all that effort and a day with no pleasure I refused to feel down at the lack of treasure, Next time you’re near to my house you must call And I’ll show you the hand nailed firmly to the wall.
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36
Just unfriend me. ******** It's not like I get Waves Of missing you Any more. (They're more like tsunamis.) I hope you not only Delete my number But block it too So if I drunkenly (Stupidly) Text you You won't get it. (Because I still text you a lot.) And I hope you and The others (Those ******* Meet up in August. Go to the Fringe; Have fun. And I hope you don't notice My absence. (Because I notice yours every day.) I hope you bump into My old uni bestie (At Glasgow) And don't remember That you met her through me. (I know exactly how I first met you.) I hope you never see My post in halls (If it still gets sent there) Again. Never see my name Again. (Every time I order take away I see yours.) I hope you can look Her in the eye. (Never tell her another lie.) Love her. Hold her. (Like you'll never do for me.) And oh - Something else. I hope you burn With pain And hurt And anger And I don't wish you ill, But ******* hell I do not wish you well. I hope your tsunamis of Depression Remind you of me And of how well I knew you And of how fighting with me Used to make you feel Better about yourself and I hope to all the Gods in all the worlds That it kills you inside.
0
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 5:06 PM UTC
Love Hurt Anger Sad But Still Love Love Love