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Edna Sweetlove Jun 2015
When taking your pet to the vet
There's one thing you mustn't forget:
If your vet's a queer,
Keep guard on your rear
(Or a ****-plug would be a good bet).
Edna Sweetlove May 2015
I've  spent a really miserable month.
I told the wife we'd go out to a nice restaurant
On her fiftieth birthday,
Which naturally led to happy anticipation.
So, the evening before she asked me,
"Where are you going to take me on my birthday, dear?"
And I replied, quick as a flash, "Up the *******."

The silly ***** seemed to have suffered
A major sense of humour failure;
Surely my prezzie would be a sure fire winner,
Certain to restore bonking privileges.
But when she unwrapped it and saw
A giant green ****-plug to get her in the mood,
She turned quite nasty on me, to put it mildly.
So I slapped her one in the ******* kisser.
The more percipient of you may notice this is written from a male point of view. May I respectfully point out that what is in my knickers is MY business.

— The End —