I never really noticed you before,
til now.
Now I notice the tiniest things
like your fingernails
which look like the inside of an oyster’s shell
and your hands, which are the most
beautiful thing about you.
I notice the way your hair shines
in the sun
and the way your voice cracks sometimes,
when you laugh.

When my eyes stopped cooperating,
my pen became my best friend.

You are my most precise definition of deception.

You are not a 'want', you are a NEED.

And hence, I am in absolute poverty.

We have even died 'together'
in my imagination.

Contradiction that is my soul name,
strong but weak,
good but bad,
can be controlled but out of control,
happy but depressed,

LOST but LOST.

Transmute from lead to gold this crooked soul.
Memories of times old create the whole.
I am unashamed to stand before God.
My spirit naked, covered with dirt and sod.

You did this to me yet I rolled the dice.
Forgot to check the trap - my fatal vice.
Dabbled with the darkened void in your heart.
Should have known it was rotten from the start.

Betrayal makes for a more grounded man.
Locking his emotions into a sealed can.
So I raise my head in bold defiance.
And slay that "God" with cynical science.


© Copyright Mr. James P Machen 26/08/2014 for viewing only. May not be replicated.

Anorexia
is the most deadly mental disorder
and maybe that is why
I tell myself I am fat,
maybe the reason I cry
when I look in the mirror
is because there is
110 pounds
too much of me
95 pounds
too much of me
80 pounds
too much of me,
I will not be content
until there is no weight left to lose,
until this skin is turned cold
and falls off my body,
I will be
counting the ribs you can see
on my corpse.
I will make myself smaller
and smaller
and smaller
until there is nothing left
to take away.