****, when did we get like this
Seems like everyday we add few more names to the list
The innocent don't stay alive
The children are desensitized
And to be honest I'm scared I'm the next one that they'll hit
I need a bit of love
Need a little trust
Need some love
Lotta love right now
There's been pain from the start
Lotta pain in my heart
Need to change but I don't know how

I don’t know how to feel,
So I feel nothing at all.

Is the only reason we’re holding onto this relationship because we are scared to be Lonely?

My mental health is not doing okay.
I’m not doing okay.
But i pretend I’m okay.
I’ll be okay.
Probably.
Hopefully.
Maybe.
I’m fine.
It’s fine.
Everything is fine.

To my very best friend:
How do I even begin?
You are only 19.
You were only 19.
My sweet, sweet boy I miss you so much.
I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I will never see you again.
I can’t breathe knowing your beautiful soul is no longer in earth.
I remember the sinking feeling in my stomach when I heard the news.
I remember hoping, praying, feeling as if everyone was playing a sick joke on me.
I remember the panic that spread through me like a searing pain.
I remember how cold my body became, the chills spreading quickly.
I love you my sweet, sweet best friend.
19 years of being alive.
19 years that this earth was blessed with you.
15 years of friendship.
15 years of memories together.
15 years of joy, smiles, and laughter.
I love you my sweetest best friend.
Thank you for loving me the way you did.
Thank you for being the kind of friend that comes once in a lifetime.
Thank you for bringing joy to everyone who met you.
Thank you for being my best friend.
I love you. I miss you.
I’ll love you for the rest of my life.
You will ALWAYS be my best friend.
Love forever and always,
Your best friend.

I’m not good enough.
My mind repeats this phrase over and over.
I’m not good enough.
Like a broken record.
I’m not good enough.
My sister is the perfect child.
We have the same face and somehow everyone tells me how beautiful she is without glancing at me.
I’m not good enough.
My mother says I’m lazy because I want to watch Netflix.
I’m not good enough.
My father gets mad because I don’t want to take over the family business.
I’m not good enough.
My boyfriend made a “joke” to his friends about how I eat too much and I’m getting fat.
I’m not good enough.
I repeat is in my head over and over.
If anyone were to hear my thoughts it would be the only thing they heard.
I’m not good enough.
It’s exhausting.
I’m not good enough.
I’m so tired.
I’m not good enough.
Someone please help me.
I’m not good enough.
The suicide hotline is busy.
I’m not good enough.
Please someone tell it to stop.
I was never good enough,
Now I’m dead.

You said you can’t live without me.
Then why aren’t you dead yet?
Why are you still breathing?