Forever is a form of infinity, is it not?
What they say about some infinities being bigger than others must be true then
Because you said we were forever
Well our “forever” was a small infinity
They were right.

There’s a gaping hole
Inside my body
I can feel it sitting there
Sometimes it feels like sand is filling it up
Like your love is filling it up
But the bottom of this hole
The hole inside my body
Is like a sink hole
It’s still in there somewhere
I know it is
But the hole consumes it
It consumes everything
It consumes me
It seems to fade
Like it was fixed up
Like it was reconstructed
But I know it’s not true
It’s still there
The same **** hole
The hole that started with him
The hole that I wish would go away
It’s a natural disaster
I hope it goes away
I hope I can fix it
Maybe you can fix it
Because he caused it
I’m sorry you have to pick up the pieces he left
I’m sorry I’m broken, maybe beyond repair
Because inside my body
There’s a gaping hole

You don’t text or call,
Not when I needed you to.
I sit in the bath.
It’s hot, that’s the first thing on my mind.
As the sweat starts to form,
I think of all I’ve done wrong  
As my cheeks turn pink from the heat,
I ask myself why I deserve this.
I want to get out,
But I can’t seem to stand.
I want to fall asleep,
But I can feel my heart beat.
It’s beating so fast,
Like my chest will explode.
I wish you would text
Or call, I don’t know.

Is it bad?
That I miss the days?
The days where it was just you and me?
Everything used to be so different,
The world was so much brighter.
My smiles were genuine,
I felt like I could do anything.

But now it’s not the same.
I text and you don’t respond,
My calls are declined.
You say to me that you’re busy,
You’re with all your friends.
But, what am I?


Am I not your friend?
You say I’m your best friend,
That you couldn’t live without me.
But I don’t think I believe that,
No, not anymore;
No, not at all.

Is it bad?
That I miss the days?
The days where we would just talk to hours?
You tell me to be happy,
To just try to sleep.
Do you not understand that I try?

You don’t stay awake for me anymore,
You just say goodnight.
There’s no worry for me anymore.
You don’t make the time for me that you used to.
You think I’m okay with that.
No, I’m not.
No, not at all.

Is it bad?
That I miss the days?
The days where you knew me— the real me?