The feeling
The sudden realization that this would be all for nothing
The reality of this stung her
She stood there
In the dust and the dirt and the dim light
Her breathing calmed
A stray yellow tear trickled down her face
Still seeing the world through a brøken lense
Still a kid with no idea of how to let go of this
Even Satan used to be an angel
My angel

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

Get a job,
a husband or wife.
Make yourself comfortable
in your own life.
So they tell me
or would have told me
if they were still alive.
But they are dying slowly
by the magic pills.
They are no longer there
to protect and care.
I no longer have devils
that whisper and scream.
They can do both
but now they are doing non.
And I can see myself having fun,
not caring or staring
into nothingness.
Yet it leaves me in mourning
to know they are about to die.
Maybe if I hold on a little longer
I won't be lonely and then find myself
a job, husband or wife.