You love me
The me you think of
The one you think I could be
You love me
Who doesn’t exist
Who doesn’t become a reality
You can’t love me
I’m real

It was three am and, we were still up talking- laughing at inappropriate jokes with tired voices and sleep blending into the whites of our eyes like paint being mixed before an artist creates her masterpiece. By the window, I sat, staring at the moon and it’s perfect figure, so round and complex with ridges only where meant to be. My mind was searching like a lost child for an answer to my happiness, my mind was searching for a reason to be unhappy, but each time it would fail then try again. By the fifth time searching, I finally realized that this was what it was like to be ok. This was how it felt to be living for more than sleep at night and empty rooms. This is what it feels like when the stars are aligned, and everything is still. Tonight the moon asked me how I was feeling and for the first time in forever I said I was doing quite alright.