Lips pressed on the cup which gives me energy
With every sip I get a sense of warmth which touches me  
You are my addiction
You give me the definition of complete satisfaction  
I wake up to the thought of you looking at the sunrise
as I await for you to open your eyes
I dream of the love that rests in your eyes  
The smell of you brewing up in the kitchen invades my nostrils
giving me energy, allowing me to feel like I can conquer all
I awake to the sight of beauty
You and coffee

Paralyzed with insecurity
she develops a deep sense of mystery
Hidden in a dark world she finds a purpose
To **** reality while trying to overdose on fantasy

She is a hidden pleasure
To a world that has tasted her bitter soul
Numb she is to anything that pushes her to grow
Paralyzed her are eyes
only seeing what pleases her flaws

I long for tranquility
while forging a reality
as my mind flirts with fantasy
I become blind to see that peace is just a dream
a dream which was never meant to be
captured in my nest of emotions
I occupy my mind with senseless motion
running away from my burdens towards peace
as peace runs away from me while it sees my burdens follow me
even peace has abandoned me

The greatest thing I have ever fixed
Was my mind on never letting you go
I subbed out my ego,
and evicted pride out of my heart,
just to make room for you and you alone

Now here is my heart
please handle with caution

They knew to be new
They had a lot to gain again
All eight hundred thousand eighty eight of them ate
Their sorrows and pain  
To make weight they had to wait
Color coded skin shades sold with dollar signs
Dark ones known as field slaves
Light ones known as house slaves
Women ***** by their masters
And whipped after
Scars left on their bodies as reminders
Given last names like Washington and Lincoln
Former Kings and Queens who lost their crowns
Shipped in boats sold by the tons
Black bald boys bawled tears of pain  
Black mothers and fathers with wisdom to be authors
had to settle to be unpaid workers chained to shackles  
Knowledge oppressed and robbed of their mental ability
To survive they relied on creativity
Singing soul music just to get through slavery

The greatest thing my past has ever done for me is let me experience it

With out it

I would never know what it feels like to

Cry, smile, laugh, leave, hide, stay, walk, run, ignore, grow, hurt, be hurt, overreact, comeback for more

Because to not want more
leads to a sad note left at the edge of your bed

Titled suicide note

So for life sake I thank my past for everything

Chasing big dreams
While flirting with nightmares
Don’t you know that these scars
created an ocean full of tears
I drown in my own emotions
While conversing with depression
Anxiety taps me on my shoulder
While shooting down my ego
Pride it forces me to let go
Empty I feel
while holding on to the place where my heart used to go, chasing a fix
While my mentality is broken to pieces
Looking for peace while drowning in agony

You look like five heartbreaks
A million forced smiles
A thousand sleepless nights
A few broken promises
A hundred pounds of tears streaming down unhealed scars

You look like a victim of insecurity
Running away from your own identity
Cheating on happiness with with lack of confidence
Your last lover force fed you pain and you accepted it
thinking it was the best it could get
Dated too many bad lovers, you now break cupids arrows
Been fooled too many times you can't tell what is fake or real

Nothing hurts more than dreams that don't start
Memories that Don't end
Pain that wants to be friends
Lovers that always pretend
Opinions with no stand
Blind artists with with beautiful art
That they never get to see

While those who see never appreciate the beauty that's within

Lost in your eyes I was
when you echoed
Those three words
My bones shimmered
As my heart skipped a million beats
As it tried to match your pace
You broke every being of my insecurity
Forcing me to step out of my comfort zone
Just to echo the words
"I love you too"

We are all broken pieces
And the only thing holding us together is love

We are all lost souls
Seeking guidance from above

Who knew love came by someone tapping your picture twice,
on a small screen
While scrolling down a wall full of other pictures

Look at all these likes and comments
So many compliments

30 likes makes you mediocre
2,000+ likes makes you a star
Instant gratification
Instant modeling
Instant attention
Instant satisfaction
But you end up with an ego full of empty compliments

I’m in between too young to die and too old to live
So I’m just living
Too wild to tame, too tame to be wild
Stuck in between
Stuck in this illusion called life
So I’m just living
If you find my purpose please tell It I’ve been looking for it all of my life
Until then I’ll just keep living

I am black like the lack of light
but shine bright like the lack of darkness
I am your worst fear
wealth to a darker shade
I illuminate your misconception
Full of transparency I don't believe in deception
I was told never to seek validation
because I was born superior
no matter why others express fear
and shade oceans full of tears
Now you see me

Why Do I have to be aggressive for you to hear me!!!
I rule like King Tut
young wild and untaught
I learned that man only lives two days
one day he is born
the next he dies
so why should I lie inside my own lies
tell lies to my own eyes
who am I deceiving?
Now you see me

It took George Floyd's Life for you to hear me
still wake up to sounds of you telling me you hate me
Its never been about one's occupation
Its always been about that dream Dr. King dreamt
I hope my children, children experience it
Because I missed it, never felt it, just hatred, and unjust court cases
if not now then when will you see me  
would you rather I disappear, or return to my motherland
Or would you rather I sacrifice my neck to gain justice
Now you see me

She wrote a piece that shook my soul
Every word was as if she uttered my name
Feeling as if my heart was burning in flames
She told me a love like hers can never be tamed
Regret ran through my mind
as my soul felt empty,
it was her reality I was living
Now death comes to comfort me

Woke up to a dream filled with limitless emotions, she never sought revenge
But left my heart feeling strange
A love like hers can never be found
Till this day I search for a dream like love
And only find it in my dreams

That's why I now sleep more...

She burned with passion as I sacrificed my heart for her to use as a canvas
She drew art only my soul appreciated
It thirsted for her existence
Holding on to hope
While giving my all she loved with grace
The universe was never enough space
For her beauty, was far beyond royalty
Love and loyalty was what kept me addicted
To her presence

Love means nothing
if fidelity does not accompany it
Many love but fall out of love
Many love but run away from love
Many love but cheat on love
So don’t show me love
if you are not bringing fidelity with it

Night falls on the heavy sleepers
Slapping them with dreams and sometimes nightmares
Crying night tears
Body shocked stuck in a maze with no lighters
Darkness roams empty souls
Growing tired of vision as things look blurry
Gasping for air they awake
to find their bodies numb to move
Feeling like their bodies are being chocked
Mind being provoked, emotions evoked
Sleep is good, sleep is deadly, sleep is heavenly, sleep can leave you feeling empty
Heavy sleepers are victims of sleeps terror

If I’ve never told you I adore you
I adore you

If I’ve never told you I need you
I need you now more than ever
Today and forever

If I’ve never told you I appreciate you
I appreciate you, I value you, because I can’t see my life without you

If I’ve never told you how much you mean to me
You mean everything to me
you are my world my heart
and the fuel to my soul

Without you I would fall

She opened my left rib cage
and Made herself comfortable
It was her I was missing
With her here
I feel like we can now build a home
This body she now owns
She loved me
because she knew
I was her one and only True love,
pure like a dove sent from above
With love we dove in an ocean
Deep into our emotions
While our heart continued floating
I am glad that she is the one God let in my bruised left ribs

She wanted more
          But
               He wasn't enough

He never felt complete
         because she wasn't
                                his other half

If you loved once
you can always learn to love again
go through the growing pains again
but smart love is not falling victim to the same person who hurt you again and again

Smart love is knowing when to lose
just so you can love again

Devil knocking on a broken Soul
Leave God he whispered follow me
I can give you all
What you seek I have it all
What Eve didn’t know is that if she let him in
She would lose it all

He whispered sweet sounds
Knowing she was destined to fall
Comprising for her soul
He knew she lacked the eyes to see it all
She was at peace with Adam
until she went and tried to figure it all
On her own
He left her alone to go deal with his pain
Came back to find that
she committed the greatest sin
of all time

She let the devil convince her
to compromise against Gods original plan
The devil whispered for he knew he couldn’t attack what was within
So he attacked her mental, by seducing, and manipulating her peace, seeking to destroy her existence, she followed as she compromised
It wasn’t until later she realized she sacrificed her peace for momentary pleasure,
Now she wishes she didn’t listen
to the devil whisper,
his mission was to destroy and conquer
Comprising the truth with lies, only real eyes
Can realize real lies

When you trust me with your future
I am a man at last
You inspire me to work harder
Hold on just a little longer
Let’s invest in our hearts
And hope they forever last
You are the thoughts I think
The eyes I see
The beat to my heart
Without you I would fall apart
If roses make you smile
I promise to build you two gardens
One in the backyard and one in my heart
With your fingers you build
With your heart you heal
You are the medicine to my sickness
I wrote these vows five years
before I kissed your tears
And touched your fears

To my future wife
I am the reason why your ex’s became ex’s
I guess my prayers told God to hit next
And now I’m in your presence
Hoping to be your forever

Midnight and poetry
Go together like
Peanut butter and jelly

If self-love was an ocean
Would you be willing to drown in it

Others die loving their lovers
but live hating themselves
so tell me is it worth it to give your love while you don’t even value its worth  

Because I see empty oceans
And many broken hearts
Beautiful pieces of art
that have been torn apart
By lovers that are millions of oceans apart

In these rivers lays unclaimed tears
Dead hopes, strangled ropes
Body parts left to float
Minds that ignored hope and faith
While hanging onto fear and distress

In these rivers
Also lays the sins of forgiven sinners
Baptized in the Holy Spirit
Sanctified and cleansed from all of their sins
In these rivers lays new bodies
Minds that surrendered pain, anxiety, stress and depression, to God almighty
these rivers heal, these rivers revel
These rivers are what we make them
Salvation or pain choose one

We can not forget that the same waters that saved Moses and his people
killed the Egyptian solders
The same waters that floated Moses to Pharaohs Daughter
Almost drowned Peter when he doubted

What God uses to save you
Could be what he also uses to destroy
Those who come after you
Trust him when he has you facing your river

I would rather feel something
than feel nothing at all
Because death comes for us all
And the first thing it takes away is our feelings
in our souls

It numbs our spines and takes away our senses
Forcing us to live life senseless
As it welcomes us with open arms

Chasing a score
looking for more
poor sucker
looking for love in a drug called time
tick tock goes the clock
egos drop, hearts melt
as she played the cards she was dealt
scars on her body from tight belts
looking for veins to hide her pain
needle in, needle out as she inhales in hell
deep breath lungs pop, low air she don't care  
feeling low to get high
getting high with an emotion called love
to only find out that it never existed in others or drugs  
feeling betrayed, her wrist she slayed
wanting a quick exit
only to end up committing accidents
failing at life and failing at death
feeling worthless, hurt, depressed and more stressed  
living with pain drove her insane
asylums kicking her out, nobody could figure her out
deep emotions she started spitting out
a victim of time and love, confused and abused
all this because she was chasing a score

Digital love got us disconnected
Less affectionate
More constructive
Chasing fantasy, while unplugging from reality
Clicking twice on screens is the closest we get to being liked
Facing peer pressure to look better
Instead of being better
Living under the weather
Hoping it rains dollars
While praying that our perception saves us from our insecurities
Splurging to get respected, applying debt to our broken bank accounts
It’s showing it online that counts
Investing in likes instead of stocks
Computer love
sacrificing human affection for attention

Wanting so much, quickly turns to too much
Those who have much, don’t know what to do with so much
Greed and envy they invite
Long talks with eyes, that have seen too much
Hungry mouths on streets, empty bellies, cold feet, fake smiles, and sweaty palms
Street signs held by those who took too much
Left with nothing while standing for nothing
Victims of decisions
Living under a vision full of nightmares
Old scars that trace back to bad choices
Squeezing pennies out of dollars
While others throw dollars at hurt lovers
Wanting too much but not willing to pay attention, Life is a long sentence
And meditation is study hall
We are stuck identifying classes
But lack chemistry
Quick to jump to conclusions
like mathematicians
While producing too much in biology
Knowing about the human anatomy but fail to know who we ought to be
Let’s tip the scale and see what would happen if the have nots had more
And the rich were broke would that increase global peace or is that too much to ask for

I hope when I see you
You see you
Because if we are one
We become each other
Perfectly belt with flaws
Perfectly grown in love

I wrote this when I was angry - I hate you
I wrote this when I was sad - I miss you
I wrote this when I was happy - I love you

Of all the feelings I had the only constant was - you

You make me feel things
I never knew I could feel
So trust me when I say I am truly feeling you  

You got the keys to my emotions

Emotions burning
heart pounding
as your fingertips leave mine
I hear your voice calling my name
in shock I am
last words that left your lips were "I am sorry, we cant be together"
I muster up the courage to tell you that "it's ok"
but deep inside I felt poison enter my veins
suffocating my soul were your words
as I was introduced to a new kind of pain
choking up on all the emotions I stood on weak knees
Feeling the sea breeze, as I felt my heart being squeezed  
Flashes of our sweet memories attacked my mind
I fought back the tears as the pain began to unwind
this is the beginning of the end and the end of the beginning

If love can heal
And pain can ****

What will it take to get over you

She thought love was a battlefield
So she dressed herself in insecurity, bad memories, pain, and tragedy
She feared vulnerability
Because she believed she would lose her identity
On this battle, she thought changing her perception
Would gain her my acceptance
Not knowing that it was her flaws I fell in love with
I knew if I could love her flaws I could love her all
Like Christ did when he died for all

Me and you are addicts of the same emotions
Hoping to find a fix to chase this high
which hopefully ends in eternity
if God grants It
I pray he blesses our holy matrimony,
As he joins our souls in unity
Bound by our vows
We become one as Adam was with Eve
This holy union a foundation created in Love
Our journey endless, our battles unpredictable
But with the help of God we will conquer all
Be my anchor when I fall
Protect me with prayers
Love me with grace
Forgive me with time
Understand all of my flaws
Don’t fix me, love me for me
If we invite hope and faith in our marriage
I believe we can conquer anything
Hardships, pain, tragedy, and loss all don’t stand a chance when God is the creator of our love
So let’s embrace him
in all of our thoughts and actions
Let’s pray we don’t lose this fire that burns within

I was happy when I was told that I would have another bedroom
One more room, more toys, more chances to make noise
More everything, more fun
But all of a sudden I lost my joy  
These parents of mine, decided it was time
Time for what? Time to call it a quite
Mom cant stop crying
Dad knows he crossed the line
He has been lying, she has been lying
They both have been lying about the love the they claim to have
In my young world, I blame myself like I was the one who caused the separation
I cry in desperation for this not to happen  
I know that for the rest of my life I will feel unwanted, forgotten and worthless
Treated like property, shared on weekdays and weekends
Shipped like merchandise  
I sleep in two beds
Now I realize that more is bad, more leaves me sad
More hurts my mom and dad
More destroyed our house
On holidays we argue, aren't those supposed to be happy days  
Now Christmas is considered fight night
Since my parents have been divorced
I have felt like I have been cursed
When they separated they did it out of spite and hate
Now to court I go, so they can debate custody
One argues that the other is unfit to take care of me
Now I feel like I have made them enemies
As they treat me like property
I feel like I am not loved properly