I’m sorry I look at you with empty eyes
And speak with simple words
We both lost her
He both loved her
We both miss her
I just don’t know what to say to you
I see that pain in your eyes when you look at me
Like I remind you of her death
I miss all of them
It just reminds me I’m growing up
But I really really don’t want to
I feel like I’m dying but I’m just getting closer
Listen, I’m sorry
I’ve lost my mind and I’ve been trying to compensate by trying to be deep
Honestly.
Honestly.
I don’t know what I’m thinking anymore
I’ve been blank minded since I saw you banging on her coffin
I’ve been blank minded since I realized she was dead

I believe in true love
Not the love you say after dating for a month
Those are just gases and hormones ****** with your brain
I can only say I really love about 7 or so people in this world
Of course I say I love you to all my family members but that's what you do
They come in and out your life
Say they miss you
But they don't
It's just what you do
I never understood it
Why your friends say they love you
They say they love me
And I'm just feeling so confused
I barely know you
I've been through more **** with my aunt for five minutes than my whole relationship with you
You're just here for entertainment
Not for love
You'll leave
I know you will
You have before
So the day I move for a different school
I'll see you waving
And the moment I leave you'll be watching a movie soon
It happens

And I don't know if I can do it anymore
             Water is calling to soak up my body
                             To float and be free
                                   No gravity
                 It would feel like I was floating
                                           Dead.
                  could be dead in the water

I've got no family
I've got no good friends there for me
Only people who feel sorry
What am I supposed to do when I'm in pain
Howling and muttering in shame
I am so tired
All I want to do is fall
But I don't know if I'll have the strength to pick myself up
Sure I have their support but at the end of the day
But I'm their problem
I want to be their family
A person they would die for and not only for the attention
Guess I've got myself but then again
I only care about myself to not to be noticed

It feels like I got no voice
When you can hit tones I can't
So jealous I want to scream
That seems to be the only effective thing I can do with my voice
It hurts so much
When you can't be someone you are
Nothing new
Something old
Tears a hole in your heart
And causes bleeding
that causes my humanity to tear apart

There was a storm
Where I played in the wind
Tree branches  mimicking my movements
Looked at them in a strange way
Wondering what they were doing
And I didn't know that there was a storm
You looked up to the sky and you saw it but
Said nothing and walked out
like saving me was out of pocket

Laziness maybe was what you had
But I know you don't care
What gets tangled in my hair
Or what wraps around my lungs
Or how my death will be soon because of all the things you flung around

The storm was  brewing
Poured in all the perfect ingredients
That's what you were doing
Recipes
That's what you had
Looked up rainy clouds
How to make
Now you're gone and it's raining out

Beautiful voices
Mouth shut
I know I won't
Don't talk or get compared
So I stay silent I don't care
Never been heard
So why waste your energy
for un tasteful sounds to come out
Winds whistling
It's the wind
Not me
Natures beauty
At least it can sing