A crack in my skin,
you glued it back together.

  a blemish with my mind,
you fixed it by force.

   a doll

that's what you wanted from me

compliant. complacent.

   easily doted in affections
and sacred anecdotes.

   you were devout to me,
but weren't you that way with all your dolls,
with all of your collections?

   I was promised to be your favorite,
but a favorite isn't pushed to the back,
kept in an attic with no golden rays
willing to shine on the broken skin.

   your favorite wasn't ignored.

   I wasn't your favorite, but perhaps that was for the best.

    you're a dollmaker,
a cruel one with
tenebrous standards, ehtics.

and help those who are your
f a v o r i t e creations;

as every day passes by,
I thank myself for
denying your quips any longer,
your routines,
the melodies of your lackluster
yet pretty promises.

   I was a doll, yours to be exact,
but pretty promises with no
density, and formidable
abandonment and ignorance
shall only go so far.

"I didn't authorize
you to come into my life"

I didn't let anybody
too close into my life
But you?
You've beat all odds

And you know what's funny?
You came without a plan
- so unprepared 
You came stumbling and stuttering
Whenever you see me;

Then one day
I realize you being interwined with me

"You came to ruin my predestined fate!
-or so I supposed

Because you keep on pushing and dragging me out my comfort zone
Little by little did you break my walls down;

And you told me as you point my window:

"That close glass window will never let you see the whole picture or let you hear those beautiful music of laughter that the world can offer!"

I was speechless most of the time
You were the who keeps on talking
Talking me out this wall I made to isolate myself from the world;

But as time pass I spend with you,
You made me come out my door and explore the real world

With your smiles and "humourless" jokes- but nonetheless it made me laugh;

"Because -
If it weren't for you
You'll never be mine
And I'll never be yours".

I could try to weave
Or mince these words,
Through gritted teeth
So it won’t hurt,
Oh if only you had, dear,
When you dripped poison
In my ear.

You broke out my ghosts
And let them play,
So what I loved most
Was stripped away.
But I won’t cower from their laughter,
See death is first
And life comes after.

I wish I could say
You didn’t leave a mark,
But I’ll get through the day
And I’ll embrace the dark.
And when your kingdom crashes down
Don’t expect me
To be around.

See I’m carelessly cautious,
I’m Completely incomplete,
And isn’t it obvious
And isn’t it sweet.
I’m exactly how you wanted,
I’m not yours
But I’m still haunted.

"You're mine , your *** is mine. You are all mine."
Not knowing no one ever told her that. And she loved the way his lips told her that she was all his.

wish I could delete you
from my memory
and erase me from yours.
whish I could detach our past
and exclude this reality
in which we're apart
and not right for each other.

maybe if we met
another time and place
I wouldn't have ******* it up.
you would be free
and we could work it out.

Yes,
I still persist thinking
that someday there will be an us.

I hope you saw the smile at the side walls of your eyes.
I hope you saw the wave of a hand underneath your eyes.
I hope you see the pain we have even behind the painless smile.
I hope you see how far grace has carried you.
I hope you see the faces of those who are dying in the inside.
I hope you see the swaying of the trees and the laughter of birds remind you that you are alive.
That you are His.
And He is yours.

I can run
and run
for as long as I please,
But I can never seem
to lose you.
You tailgate me
as if your life depends on it,
and I wonder why you have
such an staunch fascination with me.

In the end,
you always catch up,
heart still calm and
breathing still unnoticeable.
Not a droplet of sweat on your forehead.

And I become yours for
the time being.