January was the first of many months.
February is the second time I realized that when
March rolled around that you wouldn't be there in
April to hold me.
May wasn't any better because,
June came too quickly.
July came in with fireworks but all I got was burns from the sparks.
August days were spent picking up grains of sand hoping in
September would be different.
October I carved a smile on me instead of the pumpkins but
November the scar started to show.
December. I made it thought another year alone.

Note well, all you New Year's mad hatters,
It's the future that really matters,
With all your joyous bevies and beers,
Blazing fireworks and raucous cheers,
What does really matter,
All you party hearty mad hatters?
What's our New Year's resolutions,
As we commence our anticipation?
What about peace as liberation?
Or making extinct extinction,
For all our human population,
And our animal populations?
Can we think of any new solutions,
Beyond reafforestation?
How can we end terrorism?
Which masks the real perdition--
Running the world on munitions....
Very unpopular thoughts, my dears,
One of my muse's strange ideas,
How can we create a better place,
For everyone in the human race?
So, all you New Year's mad hatters,
It's all our futures that matter.

I've spent the past seven years reading secrets from post cards and the last 24 trying to act like I've got a cold heart. But I'm still sleeping with the blanket I stole from my brother when I was four and was afraid he'd get mad and say he didn't like me.

And my grandfather died, he wasn't blood and we called him Tommy. His real name was George, but he loved us like family. I visited him in the hospital when they pulled the plug and I brought my guitar and sat alone on my car.

And I hadn't written anything since he passed. Not a word since October. But this is me at 2:30 am  watching old 90's tv with the lights on and writing this down and I'm thinking of where I want to be.

For the past six years I've been waiting patiently for you to call and say that you've missed me. But I've waited in vain, and now your vanity's wasted. You're a ghost of the past and your sincerity's faded.

I built a new book shelf and changed rooms and painted my new walls a shade of gray and I hung up red curtains. And it was ten years ago that we moved here to the place I would call home though, then, I wasn't so certain.

The last eleven years I've been writing to try to forget you. I've spent so much time staring blankly through windows. This is me apologizing for the past and conceding hope for the future. This is me staring out at where I am and where I want to be.

Retirement and the remote control,
This sounds like a whinge in an ode,
Retired men and remote controls,
Includes, "Who gave old men phones?"
Is this what 'golden years' meant?
Defensible violence to retired men?
You'll be getting good manners for tea,
And not much more from me!
Don't you go T-Rex on me!
I want a  turn on that remote control, please,
You've turned into  a sook and a toad,
My 'golden years' whinge in an ode.

ABC blocks
Piecing Legos together
All fun no worries
As years pass

Large puzzles
Watching cartoons
So many cool things in this world
As years pass

Riding bikes what a delight
Recess time is the best
Learning is so much fun
As years pass

Ugh I have to get up for school
This class is so boring
Can't wait until school is over
As years pass

I hate my life
But at least I'm done with school
Or not, time for college
As years pass

So much stress
I just want to quit but I can't
Why is life so complicated and unfair
As years pass

The older we get
The more we feel like life *****
But it will get better you will see
As years pass

There was a deafening silence
Ringing in her ears
She tried to scream out
No one was close enough to hear
She wanted to break down
Drown herself in her tears
Losing sight of all that's right
Forcefully banishing her fears
But it was too late
It had been too many years
Taking a slow deep breath
Letting all the fog clear
She sensed death in the distance
Her time was almost near
Leaving nothing behind
She shudders then simply disappears

On bliss and your bulldust....
To talk bulldust,
You feel you must,
Aeons of timeless bliss,
Stemming from a secret kiss,
Your emotional manipulation,
Napoleon and his satisfaction,
Our mutual benefits,
Subterfuge and tacit bliss,
A garden of happy memories,
Daily we plant new love trees,
To talk to me bulldust,
You feel you must,
I don't know why you I trust,
My verse to bliss and your bulldust.

Remember the city we called our own
On the sidewalk next to millions feeling alone
Looking at the world like it was new
Remember the places we always went to
Learning about things we didn´t know
Walking in rain and snow with you

Years they pass so fast once you grow up
We've got time on our hands, but it's never enough
I made so many plans but I wish we could stop, and breathe
You're long gone now, but you used to mean so much to me

Remember the feeling of happiness
On the sidewalk walking away from anything less
Looking at the future like it was clear
Thinking that together we would make it there
But love is not easy, and life is not fair
The wind brushed the sidewalks until they were bare

Years they pass so fast once you grow up
We've got time on our hands, but it's never enough
I made so many plans but I wish we could stop, and breathe
You're long gone now, but you used to mean so much to me

Remember the city we never owned
But we knew each sidewalk and each memorial stone
Treading on the past that we would soon become
Looking at our reflection like we could be someone
Learning about life as we tried to live
Walking in rain and snow with so much to give

Years they pass so fast once you grow up
Our lives will not last, but we have done enough
One of the things we should have learned, was to breathe
You're long gone now, but you still mean so much to me