Why is it so difficult
To change something?
And when I try,
Where is the result?

Is the effort worth the Health
even when it’s heartbreaking?
Or should I do nothing
And never accept myself?

Mirrors the new enemy
And scales like a horror movie
When can I overcome
The fear of my destiny?

I need to lose weight
But I need to love me for who I am
I need to lose weight
But I deserve clothes that fit my body now
I need to lose weight
But I need to be happy the way I am.

I know how a strong woman cries-

and I also know why.

A hidden lump deep in the heart that festers

into a cancerous demise.

People do not stand on thin foundations,

nor lean on paper walls.

They use up space and add more weight

then you're left alone to bear it all.

is this
what it feels like
to be a fossil
in the making?
to have pebbles,
sand and grit
swept slowly
on top of me.
not to mention
the crushing
and deafening
of miles of water
pressing it all down
to bury me.

but sometimes
sometimes there's
relief and light
when someone
digs through the
weight to reveal
the shadow of the
creature that once
lay there.
but then that husk
is reduced to
cinders in a mountain
of others.
and i guess you could say
that 'power station'
is adulthood.
or life.

so you
tell me off
&
force me
not to eat
while you munch on your snacks
in front of my face
wow.

Shook jaded soul asleep
Silenced with hazy thoughts
Never fear and fight the unknown
Ground quaking as images talked
Don't know what happens now
Skin is a canvas for dreams
These stained people and endured places
And weary worms bloomed from instinct
They figured out how to rule my nerves and muscles
Surrendered to the hearse in my head
Burning sunsets weigh down my nightmares
To floods that drown me in this bed

Coming back into my body

Every inch of flesh  

Building on my bones

Strong enough to run

Strong enough to dance

Strong enough to smile

Strong enough to laugh

Looking in the mirror and seeing myself again

Through clear, hazel eyes with blue on the brim

And I think to myself

My reflection is beautiful

My reflection is clean

My reflection is calm

My reflection is kind

My reflection is me

And I love my crooked smile

And I love my tiny waist

And I love my sweet hips

And I love my big heart

And the way I laugh

It’s like God is blessing my body
with a thousand kisses
every time someone tells a joke

When I feel myself

Coming back into my body

And even if I’m just some ***** headed, cherry sipping, Coca Cola drinking wildflower

Even if I’m just someone’s woman,

Someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, and someone’s friend

I can feel myself

Coming back into my body

Where I am free