Today, I am saying yes
Today, I am saying I will
Today, All that I ever was
I am taking along with us.

I will bring home dessert
Even when you do not ask me
I will tell you the story
When you are not sharing it with me.

In the morning, I will continue talking
Even if you do not answer
Until you have had your coffee;
And in the evening, so tired,
You will hug me
While I am already sleeping.

It is not a lifetime I promise
But a routine we will cherish
It is not a lifetime I promise
But a routine we both wish

I will take your quirks and talents
I will embrace your light and darkness

Today I am saying yes
To the past, to now,
To our future, I vow.

I will not love you til the day I die
I will love you every day we live our lives.

Today we say we do
Today we say forever;
And I am yours,
Just the same, a little more each day;
Long after.

I can see it in your eyes
A little twinkle that soon dies
Your whole life
Attempting to be
Right
For one night
Your knuckles bleed
There final plead
You read
Escape your world
His world
My world
You think
About those
Big blue eyes
You'll never know
What they hide
Secrets she will
Carry to the grave
Wedding Bells
Chime
my secrets,
will die with me.

if there ever is a day
when I find a one for me
the one with whom I'll lay
and commit to fully
then that will be the day
that I will lose myself
seem though it may
that I have new wealth
thoughts of me
will go away and
I'll be unhappy

It's fall, and I'm falling.
Again.

I can hear you fall into step next to me, our feet crunch the bright blanket of our dreams, susurating the empty outlines of our unsketched pieces.

Everyone seems to be carving jack-o-lanterns, but I can't meet the eyes of the pumpkin patch owner after what we did there last fall. I can't go back to 'our spot' without their carved faces subtly mocking the shadows of the idealist, drunk on the idea of "the one ".

It funny how we manged a smile when the leaves actually fell. The tree's misery masked ours and you carved the rocks on the empty ghats with the same knife you would later use to cut our ties. The leaves grew back you know, and we still never stopped smiling.
How curious.

I'm a little relieved you didn't ask for the coat that still cloaks our past even though it clashes with my wardrobe almost as much as it clashes with my life. Because I like believing the illusion that they still smell of you in a way that your perfume couldn't make up for in our brief dalliance.

I remember speaking to speak at our - no, your wedding. I must have told every ghost floating in black tie or a white gown what a beautiful  person you are. What I didn't tell them was how much I loved you, because regardless of what I said they would refuse to hear the past tense in my voice. Gosh, never have i missed the tragedies of my language classes quite as much.

If memory serves me right, I remember congratulating the groom and telling him how lucky he is. But I don't bother telling him how it would've been me last fall. Some truths are best kept secret.

You even asked me for a dance didnt you ? Was that really needed ?

When it all ended I remember waiting outside, next to the roses littered down the hallway and thinking - what a pity. After all your favourite were always lilies.

Now that I look back I think we swept through, akin to children in a hurry. The haze is still lifting, but the season keeps coming back like a monday morning hangover. So as the clouds part with majesty, you happen to have lost the blur of perfection.

Come next july, you'll open your painted eyes to midsummer rain and think of -
The rain.
And I'll be thinking of how burning marshmallows always makes them taste a little bit better.
Why ? Because not ever tale needs a dramatic ending.

It's fall, and I'm falling.
Again

before quiet fathers
and weeping mothers
gentle sisters
stalwart brothers
 
before tying up
all loose ends
before small children
before friends
 
before sweet days
that lie ahead
the years of laughter
tears, and strength
 
before jubilant sun
that brightly sings
before melting snow
and newborn spring
 
before soft grass
and fragrant earth
before times of joy
sorrow, mirth
 
before the road
we stand as two
becoming one
(i do, i do)

Attraction

Eyes lock, souls intertwine, worship like a shrine.

Bubbling, effervescent youth - flirtation to finality.

Eagerness to cultivate, move to the next occasion.


Repulsion

Slow demise, one could only surmise - it's time to let go.

But peculiarities, they become extraordinary.

Take you as you are.


Endurance

Long-lasting, soul enhancing.

Moments like these, quintessence of eternal.

Utterances of love are immortal.


Acceptance

Unwavering faith and trust, passionate conviction.

Any cacophony of doubt, silenced.

Take me in, fully.


Synergy**

Two brilliant bright lights intertwine.

Illumination.

Status is divine.

The sky is heavy,
It seems the rain will fall,
My heart is sticky,
And my spirit is dull;

Bring me into the places,
Where the ancients have trodden,
I might find all traces,
Of treasures which were stolen;

I cannot see the future,
Nor the dreams which i had,
When around me is torture,
And pregnant mothers unclad;

Return the hopes of the lost,
And speak no lies from your lips,
Wipe our feet of this dust,
And refrain from using your whips;

Bring me to the wedding,
And lit candles on bridges rails,
Let roses be my bedding,
To hide my blood if this fails;

Seize from calling my name,
Your voice only hurts me more,
Take back your shame,
And give me healing to my sore;

So put a ring on my finger,
And lets be lost in the mist,
Quench my soul of this fever,
And take me to the grand feast.

I was never one to fantasize about my wedding day or obssess about the identity and whereabouts of my groom to be . I just viewed marriage as pleasant expectation.
Something wonderful that would come in its due time
But now I've come to my sences. Untie the boquet, tell the flower girl to ignite her roses, tell the ring bearer not to take caution, pour the champaign down the drain and tear down the wedding cake.
The groom isn't going to show .
And I don't blame him
What awaited him was an asylum in a white dress .
Each step would have brought him closer to being chained to a despondant soul.
I want to love someone,someone  that is all mine . Love them with everything in me and wake up each day with my whole would resting on the pillow next to me. But it's not fair to try to love someone when you don't love yourself. I can't charge someone with the responsibility of holding me together. I won't ever be that selfish. So groom to be stay where you are if you see me coming run for the hills .
I'll silence the wedding bells and send the band home. Don't waste a perfectly good tux on me .