You had called me
a word
I had never heard.
You called me
a word
I did not know
I could be.
You called me
a word
that made me fall,
that made me fall so
**** hard for over
four long straight
years.
All because of that
one foreign word
you had called me...
Beautiful.

A freshly cooked food thrown,
A surprise that was early shown.

A useful tool that was barely used, a sure win effort only to lose.

Time that was rarely given,
All left to do nothing often.

Sacrifices almost everything,
Just to be wasted for a stupid thing.

Once something was lost,
No one can bring it back with just a high cost.

Every minute that passes is a minute that is wasted (at least in my life),
Happiness is far from where i stand,
Forgiveness isn't close enough to even understand,
Blame is common and unsureness is the world I live in,
Hope is far fetch and with luck I'm usually feeling ******,
Failure is what I'm used to, Disappointment is how it goes,
I never see myself standing,
Just always on my tippy toes,
I used to hold on to everything,
Now I've learned to let it all go, Independent I never was,
Just dependent that's how it was,
The cord was cut Then I fell,
Hitting the floor,
Now I'm crawling along the cold wet floor.

I lived through it,
The up and down times
When I sold ***
And did other petty crimes.
I was there when
Hot girls were really guys
Hiding floppy secrets
Between their nyloned thighs.

I loved through it,
Saturdays that started
On Tuesday morning
When I first departed;
Two packs of cigs
And a week’s doobies,
By then a value
Almost that of rubies.

I laughed through it,
A **** *****, your jokes
Were so funny if
You were providing smokes.
I flattered and flirted
Whatever it would finally take
To score a bit of ****,
Even the skimpiest shake.

I lolled through it,
Lying buck naked in your bed
Or with your guests
Whatever you originally said
Because you scored,
You were the source of dope.
Without your patronage
I didn’t have a moment of hope.

I hitchhiked through it,
Long trips back from Malibu
When I had worn out
My welcome to the world of you.
I hope the ride might be
Another adventure; more ****,
Or some food and drink
To satisfy my every begging need.

I want to shout until my ears hurt.
I want to curse until I ran out of words.
I want to run until I can't stand on my feet.
I want to stab myself until I can no longer breathe.

I want to be back to my own self,
I want to be free.
But everytime I try.
I can feel your hands' tight grip.

I've been depressed for three years now.
I've been suffering for sleepless nights.
I've been seeking for help a lot of times,
But no one dared to notice my cry.

They knew me as a strong girl,
The one who always smile.
But this time I know I'm afraid.
Afraid of what I can do to myself.

Open your eyes and see
Don't fade away, don't fade away
Breathe in the air and be
Everything, everything
Wake up and hold your dreams
Don't let them stay, don't let them stay
Hiddin within your sleep
Don't sail away, don't sail away
Into the shinning sea
Call out your name, too far away
I only hope you see
Behind the line, behind the lines
Oh now woh is me
I've wasted my time, wasted my time

Time, is gone, it never comes back, flies right past and knocks you on your ***, as you recover it flies by again, a vicious cycle that never ends. Falling and falling until we are dead.

I found myself wasted
literally
I was outward and true
I was fearless and sometimes blue

I found myself wasted
consumed by my favorite drink
happy I am able to click

I found myself wasted
befriending everyone
oblivious to their intentions

I found myself wasted
wasting..no not wasting
enjoying the night

I found myself wasted
I wish everyone
can be wasted
so they can
remove
that ugly
facade
that
keeps you
from
me