Gone are the days
When laughter was a constant
Gone are the days
When photographs weren’t yellow
Gone are the days
When it was easy to love
Gone are the days
Of promiscuity and senseless passion.

Every moment held with bated breath
Every sunrise led to your morning texts
Every memory I hold of you
A whisper of my love for you
Every minute, every second
Every inch of my sinew and skeleton
Sing songs of love and longing
When I'm not with you.

Your faith unrelenting
Your love uncompromising
Every silence, every kiss
Like a solemn, sweet promise

My love for you tears me and wears me
And makes me anew
It makes me and breaks me
And changes me for you
For the better or for the worse
I will always be true to you
Beyond the end of days.
Always.

Please let me give you the stars
And by the stars, I mean my hand
And by my hand, I mean my love
And by my love, I mean my life

Please let me be your wife
And by wife, I mean your safe place
And by safe place, I mean your yoke
And by yoke I mean your here and now

Please let me be your vow
And by vow, I mean your rock
And by rock, I mean your castle
And by castle, I mean your treasure

Please let me be your forever

We were both writers.
You with a fountain pen and moleskin notebook  
I with anything I could scrawl on -tears always just at the edges of me
and in this way we began to author our life together.
We put pen to paper that first night
drunk on gas station liquor and on not feeling so alone.
Our hungry bodies filled page after page
with what I would come to believe
would be my magnum opus.

In your wedding vows you said that we would
“work together to fill the pages with
conflict, desire, pain and all that makes life real
so that we can appreciate all that makes life good”
You were not much of a co-author though
preferring instead to write alone at night while I slept
How many times did I revisit a previous chapter
only to find that you had introduced a new character
or a dark and bizarre plot twist without my knowledge?
Eventually these discoveries would become as predictable
as the indignant denials
eventual apologies
and promises that would always follow them

lather, rinse, repeat

Over years these edits and additions
would knock the air from my lungs
completely shaking my confidence as a writer.
With cramping hands I would try to rewrite the bad parts
though my scribble marks did little to mask the words beneath.
Words that once had flowed as easily and copiously as I had for you
now came only in fits and starts
each new chapter torn from the bones of my bones.
How many times did the ten eyes we wrote in
watch as writers block turned to writers rage
producing furious missives that would tear holes in pages without warning?
Still even as my teeth-torn hands turned arthritic
I couldn’t seem to just put down the ******* pen
Because it was our story
and because I loved it
and because I loved us
and because I loved you.

I ended our story with a semicolon
Its already faded form staring up from my ring finger
a reminder that I could have chosen to end my story but didn’t.
You once told me that a good author always employs irony
and I have always been a better writer than you’ve given me credit

                                                   ;

Tell you daily, how I love you right now...

Jesus sent me to you, show my love through my vows....

Finally found you my rib, life’s complete, there’s no doubt....

Tell you how much I took a leap out on faith, my heart just beats for you.
So many words it’s hard to explain, so I rather show you.
Tell you how much I took a leap out on faith, my heart just beats for you.
So many words it’s hard to explain

Tell you, baby, how I love you right now...

You’re my precious light, spiritual aura presence is perfect...

Through all your flaws, your soul has already been accepted...

Love's garment woven with endearments
Ovations shared in heart harmony
Vows- the genesis of love's endeavor
Enduring love cultivated with kindness

          ~when love precipitates, selfishness evaporates~

Even if from a distance confined
Realisation of the greatest respect
By life’s volatility remaining aside
Still craving to protect

Understand for a fact
That even if a worst fortune
Prevented me to act
And accede to no more importune

Despite lying on the ground
No longer dwelling in the trails
Words unable be found
Prevented to share tales 

Veiled in the dark of night
My gaze no longer hunts yours
Eyes not reacting to light
My affection still endures
Wind forever forsaking my lungs
Heart that have no more hours
The words shorten in our tongues

 When I alone await in the tomb
For the cycle to be complete
 Returning to the womb
Making this life obsolete  


 Still aspiring to be your knight
 When life no longer allow
Quiet and resolute I will fight
  To fulfil my silent vow

Hear my lonely plight
Angel in all your shine
Help me with my regard
Complete my vision
Always in her guard
Replace me in my mission