Any word never so softly spoken
never words ever so stately joking . . .
hopeless without dope
the whole world tokes--
just don't choke
and swallow smoke so toxic.

I've had it with this rock ****,
wanting women to go *******.
knock THIS with fists clenched to bliss
never was there ever so sinister a kiss.
don't miss this chance to be missed for misters miss's listless jist of this.


sound is forever
ever heard of white noise
its the sound of people fighting across the world forever ever for letters between a girl and a boy.
are you sure?
do you really want this?
can you bomb it, not drop it
to **** meaningless fetuses?
why are you reading this?
you can't beat this.
Eat this slowly trying to depleat this.
guess what?


everhing you've been reading is meaningless.

When you left me over a phone call that lasted a minute and a half
I should've known our fate then
when you said you wanted a second third fourth fifth chance
I should've said no

When you texted me tonight asking me to see your make-up
I should've said no
because all I can think of
apart from your gorgeous eyes
and your pink cheeks
and your chapped lips
is that
he will see you today
and he will remember
that you did it for him
that maybe you chose his favorite colour
or you put on his favorite perfume
he will remember that scent on you
from that one friday
the one day which was the best of his life
maybe he waits every friday to see you

you say you did it for you
but you did it for him way before you did it for you
you gave a part of you to him
a part that you'd only given to me
and it took you a day to bedazzle yourself for him
and you didn't even know him

he met you on a friday
or so I think
but he sees you every now and often
and he will forever remember
that you did this for him
what today you say
you're doing for yourself
but he won't know that
to him
its still like that past friday

I drowned myself in a bottle of *****
so I could feel, or not to feel
There are eleven cigarette butts in the trash
so now my room reeks like smoke
It's still better than the smell of blood
Though my brother wasn't too happy
that I stole all his liquor,
he still thinks that the stains in my sheets
are better than the deep red ever was
Even if they're *****

Today I ate war for breakfast.  

It tasted stale like old newspapers and when I bit down I heard a story that kept repeating itself.

I only eat it because I heard it’s good for me.  
“Most important meal of the day” they say.  
“Makes you stronger”

The sound of my spoon hitting the concave bowl like shots fired from a shaky finger,
unsure of the aim and even more unsure of the reason for the target.

By lunchtime I was hungry for more.  

I guzzled down a few hate crimes, they’re not the easiest things to swallow.
Innocent people don’t go down without a fight.  

I’m never sure why I torture myself with consuming all these things that are bad for me.  

“You are what you eat” they say.

Now I’m becoming ill from this junk food drowning in the pit of my stomach.  

I have to eat supper even though I’m afraid of what’s being served.  
Looks like it’s injustice with a side of inequality.  

My least favorite meal.

Tears march down my face following the fate of my food down the curve of my neck.
I feel nauseous from eating and guilty from being full.

That night I have heartburn like many nights before
but for the first time I smile.
Everything that was forced down from the day is
defying gravity,
defying the odds and
defying the evil so it can stay alive,
rise up again and eject from its captor.

I ***** war,
I ***** hate crimes,
I ***** injustice and inequality

They burn on the way up and they are not happy…….but I am.  

Every day we are fed news and are given a choice.
Will you swallow it down and let it pass or change the recipe and nourish the world?

Amanda Powell
1/22/2017

I swallow my words,  but I'm allergic and it's all I can do not to ***** them back up.

I have loved you
to a point
where my system
created an orbit
that only revolves
around
you
and you know what
I can
f$%king say it
guilt-free

I cooked veggie soup
and gave some to Mother Earth
with a gaping mouth

it takes
            a special kind of
self loathing
            to reach for a
bottle
            as your eyes are
opening

to begin
            the process of
poisoning yourself
            as darkness
dissipates

blind to the orange
              explosion
the yellow and red hues
              now encapsulating
the sky

the warmth
and radiance of
The Sun
as its rays
blanket my world--

a sensation I willingly
                 betray
a sense of happiness I consciously
                 ignore

as I sit in my
                 dark room

Shot
                 After
Shot

trying to (literally)
d r o w n
my sorrows
that creep up
behind closed eyes
unleashing upon my
mind as lids part

running rather than
                  fighting

choosing to sink
                  when I could be
swimming

The Sun is high
encouraging plants to dance
and animals to wake
and yet I wither
in an enclosed space

my roommate returns
from an overnight shift
to find me

intoxicated
                   inebriated
vomiting
                   in bed

the day is beginning
but my life
                   feels over.

When will I finally see the light?