she uses smallish words
medium, i guess
she wears converse
and she’s nice, i guess
she’s funny
and she cares
she’s stylish,

and i love her
but she doesn’t know
to what extent
i guess
i tried to stay
but i couldn’t find your heart
it was buried
underneath your hoodie
sleeves pulled over your fingers
you couldn’t let me in
but i understand
what it’s like to have a wall


you left, you said, because you didn’t know me
but i was trying so hard to open up
i don’t blame you, i’m not worth it
but you could have kissed me goodbye
i got a construction crew yesterday
they’re reinforcing my protection
it’s either trapped in or out
there’s never another way


i guess it’s goodbye, then


have a


i'll tell your story
i'll weave no lies into the silken thread of your life's quilt
i'll show you
you'll see
the story i wrote
is yours
his parents are ascetically grieving
he only wants to look aesthetically pleasing
in his own mind he’s fine, he’s normal, he’s great
in their minds, they ask themselves, ‘what did we create?’
they’re never proud, not unless he’s their perfect little boy
and he’s only that way if he lets them treat him like their toy
she’s bearing weight like atlas with religious and outdated morals
the only way she can speak with her family’s in quarrels
she’s only herself, if they’d just understand
they act like her feelings are emotional contraband
zie’s just hirself
what’s wrong with that
hir family beats hir down with a mental bat
they say that it’s fine
they don’t think it is
what do they expect hir to do, when they can’t even live with what is?
zie cannot be a person who does not exist
all zie can do is just try to resist,
if it’s
the only thing that keeps hir alive
and it fits
zie is never gonna try to come back to this
if they can’t accept them, then someone else can
but who will accept the outcasts, the fallen
who will welcome them with open arms?
it's the lullaby of most transgenders
never again
will I hear that sound
too beautiful it was
too beautiful for me
there is hope
There is love
There is someone there
You don't have to feel alone
You're not
You're loved
Always. No matter what.
am I to believe
after all this time
you haven't changed a bit?

am I to believe
after all this time
you've all but gone to shit?

am I to believe that you still don't care
that you're still not trying?
because your intentions are bare
and out in the open
yet I still can't decipher them
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