Unhappiness and misery,
Loneliness, sorrow, and shame,
Who could know that all of this
Would come from a simple game?
My jersey rests upon my back,
#1 it shines with a gleam,
There are players all around,
But I don't feel like part of any team.
The sidelines are my painful home,
A reminder that im not good enough,
but I can't cry, not a single tear,
The eyes of friends have made me tough.
I watch them work at what they love,
The struggle and the fight,
While my mouth forces, smiling words,
Cheers that never seem right.
I wont complain, not anymore,
but I don't know what to do,
You just turn away from me,
Why can't I spill my heart to you?
My parents asked me if I played,
Eyes downcast, I still lie,
Because they wouldnt understand,
When they don't know how hard i try.
How come this doesn't hurt you?
You must be so much stronger,
To shrug it off, not seem to care,
Its hard to take it any longer.
I'm sorry if I feel useless,
but you bleed too, don't you see?
And if it doesn't bother you?
Well, im sorry that it's hurting me.
About volleyball, I miss sports even though I was never very good at them.