I feigned sleep
As his hands wrapped my body
A safe cocoon in blue arms

I wonder how much time
I have left until the spell
To break

Home is a homeless place
Love and you will never
Find it elsewhere

His heart beat loud in my
Back and a hardness
That pulls me closer

I stayed awake
As the room filled with blue
And the clock as my consort

A hand of warmth, his touch
Like the touch of many others
Before and after

You felt blinded to be alive
But he turned off the light
And tucked you under

Love, it doesn't have to feel
This way but which way
Must you go when

Home is not a home to you
You've been gone for
So long

His blue arms are what draws
You back and you
Cleave as if it's your roots

Blue love, blue arms
Blue hearts, blue room
I feigned sleep

A safe cocoon in blue arms

oh god, you were right
to say that nothing happens
when we die
just as the lights burned out
and our woven hands
were drowned in cimmerian dark
i am scared that i will go
without a sound
and ever haunted
by the souls i keep
in the centre of my heart

one shot won't
fill it but maybe five or six
one pill won't do it
but maybe eight or nine
one night didn't fix it
but maybe twelve

the space is growing bigger
with each person that leaves
perhaps i'll double the dose
to double my chance
at being w h o l e
again

six shots didn't work
so maybe ten or twelve
nine pills didn't do it
so maybe sixteen or seventeen
twelve nights didn't fix it
so maybe thirty

The man who never was
Among a myriad of people
A shadow cast over water
Continually changing shape
Seen yet absent in presence
Opaque ... Yet a void
The man who never was
Translucent illusion
I could swear I heard him speak
Or was it simply the return of an echo from long ago
Again he didn't stand on the pier last night
Where he had never stood before
Therefore I ceased from looking for him
In places I knew he never was
The man who never was