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s Jan 2020
i think of the days when everything is calm, peaceful and serene. i think of the days when everything is chaotic, disruptive and hurtful. but mostly, i think of the days when i’m just living motionlessly. where nothing significant really happens but my heart is aching - reminiscing the memories. the laughters i took for the granted. the smiles i took for granted. the happiness i took for granted but somewhere deep in me always knew that i was bound to feel this way for a long, long time.

motionless.
my life at a standstill while everyone else have their own parties of memories while i stand here - all alone.
bitterness swarm me but i can do nothing.

motionless.
my life it seems. everything in my life.

motionless.
where i’m meant to be.
please do tell me how i can write better :)
Somewhatdamaged Jan 2020
You
I love the way I can hate
Your screaming
Your blaming
and all your misery.
You blame me for spreading in.
And then you hate me
for what you put me through!

And all your disbelief
that you comfort me with,
all your hatred
all your lying,
the way you played with me
I miss the way I can hate!

Cause I know its you, not me!
You turned my simplest taste
into a worthless meaning.
The way you were holding me
Your tainted caress
struck the void in me!

Where the **** are you?
I hope you're satisfied.
You're nowhere to be found.
I'm not missing you
I just miss the way I hate you!
Aaron E Jan 2020
Each is given their canvas
Open air along the brief respective flashes of time
We whittle gasping attempts at a connection

With only any placeable frames that we’ve collected
Hammer dissonance to Xanadu

Feather in the contrast as a method of description

or discretion.
____

Building a context

heft upon a quickly fading gust
Just a divvied introduction of trust as a reflection.

Left as signal threading the reverence into message

Let me bury symbols in code and seed a weapon.
____
_____

Let me choose a frame and build a picture growing out to the edges
Filling seconds with deference
Knowing breath is the setting, for where the grey areas are

Levy loosening gaze, and form a tinctured impression of the glimpse I’ve incepted, though the lesson I’m guessing won’t fare to carry the cadences very far.

Tarry not for fear of ones inept reflection, bury not thy fierce direction.

Into the void.
Into the depths.
To build the frame.
To will the question.
I’ve been doing more of these on my phone, due to time constraints. I’m hoping it doesn’t affect the formatting negatively.
purges Jan 2020
my inability to feel
plagues me
defective

the endless lies i live
the conversations in my head
they encircle me

please don't take it personally
i grow colder with each passing day

as quickly as love turns to hate
as quickly as hunter turns to prey

meaningless, empty words
meaningless, empty eyes
crying void
trying to expel

someone else to give me meaning?
no, i'd rather not
i'd rather die inside a hollow life
aj kamari Dec 2019
i want to let go
to jump into the void
and catch my wings on an updrift of wind
to feel the freedom of longing
but the resistance and gravity
of the thought of you is both holding me back
and pulling me down.
the thought of you restricts me from
going,
leaving,
starting my life how it's suppose to be,
becomes hope is demolition to a soul of love.
notice how i said the thought of you.
it isn't you,
but my mind's imagination of what could be.
the gravity of knowing i will never be enough for you
pulls me down and weighs on my heart.
i know it will shatter and i know i won't recover..
but it's a high that only your drug can give me.
and honestly, i'd face this overdose
over withdraw anyday.
not my best work but i'm sleep deprived and missing my ex. i'm sure we can all understand and relate in some sort of way.
sushii Dec 2019
admire the blankness:




















now feel the loneliness.














welcome to my heart, dear girl
it is blackness and blankness
please, send someone quick
to fill it
Sutherland Dec 2019
The star that bleeds the light of my world will collapse and consume me.
M Grant Teague Dec 2019
In the silent deep I wait.
I listen for my call against the endless void of noise.
What I am waiting for I know not.
How and why I am here are equal mysteries,
that fill the lost passage of time.
I cannot know the hour nor the minute.
All that I have is the moon
lapping the surface about.
Never the solar, always the lunar face.
My body is stiff and heavy,
almost impossible to move.
My view is always the same.
These dark holes and splintered eyes
fill my soul with dread.
It never moves nor takes its gaze from me.
I cannot smell, speak nor taste.
When I try,
I cough into nothingness,
My body forcing black liquid from my lungs
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