pushed upon my back
helpless as a beetle off his feet
  swept away by forces too powerful to resist

through streams
formed rivers
  carved canyons
an eternity I've struggled to breathe

difficult is this gift that keeps me from the crows
though lovely to be alive to feel the strain

through streams
of consciousness
which formed rivers
and carved canyons
 I grew courage and sailed briskly through

I immortalized
all of yourself
&
all of me in pen, in ink,
bled it all into the digital machine’s
white screen
there’s snow on the ground
endless stark white
the twinkling dying gleam of Christmas lights on my lawn

somewhere your lawn is bereft.
somewhere your everything is bereft too.

There is the feel of your fingers
on my heated skin
Your palms cupping my face
On either side of my cheek

There is the flecks of dust motes
Settling on my eyelashes
The blotches of night
Melting all around us

Your blanket a backdrop of linen on the canvas
of your king-sized bed
There’s the distant blaring of sirens
Police cars speeding down the street

There’s the insistent howling and
S
h
a
r
p

d
I
s
s
o N
A
NT

bark of your dog

–

There is your voice
Gentle in the newness of the night
“You’re so pretty, you know that?”
Rhetorical
Two years
and here we are

It’s the same book, darling
The same story
The same tragic end
There is me: the ******* her pills
There is you: the man-boy who wants so desperately to love

All we have is the trappings of body heat
Our flesh
Your fingertips turning me to ash
Reviving the flame around my body
Only to burn me all over again

All I have are the seemingly endless poems
Your soul
Your smile
The brightness of your hazel eyes
Trapped in the words
F
or
ever
more

This
These words
All for you

I immortalized all of yourself
&all of me in pen, in ink
And then in blood

Sealed it in this digital machine
Sealed it in this dark ritual
Emptied it along with the last pill bottle

The girl who takes pills no longer
The man-boy still
searching
in the peat-darkness, the bright sky of stars,
for love
In memorandum

Upside down table
Ready to catch the ceiling
It is a strange world

i
want
to find
the right
combination
of words. one,
that triggers the
right neurons, at
the right time,
in the correct
order
and makes
you realize,
like an epiphany,
that even though
my lips were not
designed to
perfectly fit
your lips;
they
still
do.

The pineapple is the whole,
Whether in the ground
Or in your bowl.

Rock in hand; above, down, pound.
Crack the spiny hull.

Sweet juice is found.

Gentle golden leaves
Brushes autumns chilly air
With really sweet dreams