I get paid by the hour.
Counting time by all the dollars.

Trading my life with every transaction.
Trying to catch my life before it loses traction.

All that my life is the seconds that descent.
How much money until my life is spent?

I have met dates online.
I've had friends set me up.
I've gone to so many dinners,
and I've gone home with
more people than I'd like to admit.

I have slept with men
and I have slept with women.

I have left someone
and I have been left.

I've been in relationships
that ended mutually,
and I've been in relationships
that ended in heartbreak.

I learned the hard way that
*** is not equivalent to love.

I learned the hard way that
I didn't know what love
was supposed to feel like.

I learned the hard way that
I deserved so much better than
what I was doing to myself and
what I was letting others do to me.

I learned the hard way that
I was making the wrong choices.

but I am so glad that I learned,
even if it hurt.

some people never learn
to see their own worth.

i'm different now, id like to think
reading the past is as strange as it seems

a girl, so lost
i see

its hard to bare, the words of her/
i see into her,

so many years of pain, filled with resentment
for herself,

misunderstanding of the fact,
that she needs a reason to exist

she just does

I was scared to lose you. Because instead of hearing people, I listened   to them.
And listening to them hurt. It hurt so much tears fell down and I forgot I had value.
Living with my own principles is tough. For everywhere I go, I see them misjudge me, criticize me and laugh at me.

But I am stronger than they are, right? We all are. We are wandering in this world that it not ours. We are suffering in this world for it is home. And it is okay. For love is stronger and whoever and wherever you are, someone loves you.