A buzzing feeling
spreading from my chest
down to my fingertips

the heat in my throat
can't be washed away

vivid dreams
like every night is a full moon

feeling wearied and vigorous
all at once

this vessel can only hold so much

being afraid to explode

but maybe thats the point
to explode

i sit still in my room
haveing planned out
my future

believing
i have a gift to predict it

i sit still in my mind
as the light
of the hopefulness
slowly fades

to a flicker in the sky
far away

when you realise,
that you can get out..
of any bad situation,
that you hold your world in your hands

you instantly become capable of anything

self discovery,
is a strange path
a winded one

its hard to grasp
and will escape your fingers
at any possible chance it has

why is it that
the true version of yourself
tries so hard to get away

skewed by society
warped by our own reality

perhaps our real selves,
aren't real at all

how do i tell
who is the real me

i look at myself
compared from then and now
and i am proud

i just am, proud

it took me so long,
to look in the mirror
and          see      myself

i felt so invisible
i basically didnt exist

im so sorry
to past me
you did not deserve to be treated so bad
by the one person, who shouldve had your back

me

i sit here,
trying to refuel my passions
for the many things
he took away from me

i sit here
not embarrassed
of who i am

i sit here
sometimes questioning myself

because his voice at the back of my head
still judges me
for liking the things i do

i sit here
trying to regain the pieces of me

that had fallen all over the floor

i am almost there
i am almost full

i'm different now, id like to think
reading the past is as strange as it seems

a girl, so lost
i see

its hard to bare, the words of her/
i see into her,

so many years of pain, filled with resentment
for herself,

misunderstanding of the fact,
that she needs a reason to exist

she just does