I never meant to love you.
You caught me
On the way to my solitude
And tripped me,
So casually.
Did you even notice
That I fell?

you see, when they asked me to describe love, to describe you, i thought about writing about how i was lost until i found you and how you were my water in the drought. but if i wrote about those, i would have been lying.
the thing is, darling, i was not looking for you.
i did not climb the tallest mountain and reach out for you at the top with scraped fingers and knees. i did not plunge into deep waters and risk drowning just to catch a glimpse at the beauty you were. you and i, this love, was not planned.
so when they asked me to describe this, to describe us,
i did not write about how you saved me.
instead i wrote about how i was full, how i was full before i even met you. i wrote about how i thought there was no room for anything else, but you came along and i began to pour out at the sides, making a puddle of joy on the kitchen floor.
i wrote about how you never asked me to climb a mountain for you, but rather we sat in the car and glanced at it. and then later, we drove to the shore and barely touched our toes to the sea.
you see, when they asked me to describe love, to describe you, i thought about writing about how you changed me. instead i wrote about how you loved me the way i was, and how i loved you even when i thought i did not need to.

Time
untimed
makes
things
timeless

May I a penny for your thoughts?
Said the voice of reasons chat.
But I hold my tongue as still I think,
Curiosity killed the cat.

As I burn the midnight oil,
In the job that I don't have.
Add salt to the wound of truth,
Just burn the other half.

I'm stuck between two choices,
Caught between two stools.
Cross that bridge when you come to it,
Find the unavailable tools.

Maybe what they say is really the case,
Actions speak louder than words.
If that's true, you'll find ecstasy,
Using one stone, but killing two birds.

The pen I clutch is speaking,
With words that are not mine.
The paper beneath is echoing,
Laughs as fear shoots up my spine.

The window I see taunts me,
With visions I cannot see.
The tree branch grasps me tightly,
Watches my still attempts to flee.

It whizzes by so quickly,
You'll miss it in a blink.
They do not yet know me,
My ships not one to sink.
For though I do not say it,
I'm closer than they think.

When there's a stormy night,
When winds howl with fright,
When I lose all my sight,
I walk.
When the sun burns the sky,
When the dark gives a cry,
When the moon tells a lie,
I walk.
When the bombs blow the streets,
When the trusted finally cheats,
When the unknown defeats,
I walk.
When the forest loses air,
When the steel breaks a tear,
When men cry in despair,
I walk.
When the flag falls from the tops,
When the farmers stop growing crops,
When the unstoppable stops,
I walk.
When everything seems clear,
When the room's filled with cheer,
When there's no longer any fear,
I walk.

Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterwards (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback.

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!

                                Big, Biggest Love,

                                               Jeff Gaines

Deep down I know what I'm searching to find
I race through the trees but there's nowhere to hide
I follow the scent but it all smells like pine
I look hard for the truth, but then lock it outside.

I leave it shaking, shivering, cold
on a mountain top where the four winds blow
Until I start drinking; warm, inside, alone
then I'll unlock the door, invite truth to come over.

"You can't stay for long", but he takes a seat
and comfortably downs a large gulp of my drink.
My lips to his neck and his tongue to my mouth,
in the thick of it all, it all somehow comes out

What I want, what I need
Things that I couldn't see
Things I ran from, tripped up on so frequently
Labelled them nightmares, just too scared to dream;
I learned to stop running when truth came to me.

Am I really happy, independent and free,
If I'm constantly living in a world of, "maybe?"