"Your smile ,
I your eyes it shows
When you laugh,
The whole world knows

You can light up the room"
Is what they say
But it's all a costume
Just put up for display

The smile I put up
Hides the pain I push down

The laugh I force through
Hides the cry I withdrew

This mask i put on
Doesn't hide the true me
It only hides my anguish,
My pain, so no one can see

Some people might think
It's a demon controlling me
Dressed up in costume
of an Angel to be

But my demons do not control me
They are stuck in my head
They can't control the mask
Only the thoughts instead

Oh
My toe
Is filled
With woe
Because one
Sad solo
Sock and shoe
Overflows
With wet ice
And freezing snow
But I won't show
Or let anyone know
The cold I feel
Numbing me slow
I know
It will grow
But onwards
I go
So
I guess
My warmth
I owe
To this foe
I realized
Long ago
I can't or won't
Overcome
Overthrow
Or say no
To chilly air  
That through me flows
Without fail
Stealing my glow
Although
I suppose
I'm used to it though
This evil villian
That stays down low
Underneath
My feet
Below

I'd like to
become see-through
For people to
know who
is hiding underneath
how lungs breathe
how bones shiver
of the stolen liver
throat that has to swallow hard
each broken promise shard
stomach digesting
loneliness from life's endless questing
these veins red and blue
this heart beating true
I wish to be see-through
see-through for you

Without it I'm sure
I look so pure
Til you see me sing the most beautiful song
with blood on my tongue

She had a beautiful smile,
hiding many stories beneath.

Underneath the history,
beneath the blood,
the pain,
the corpses-

Somewhere covered by hatred,
deceit, pride, and jealousy,
below selfishness,
and ignorance-

Under mounds of ash
and toiling,
suffering and
Fear-

Somewhere underneath,
confined to fiction by
weakness:
There is something good.

I Am Guilty Of All My Failures

I take the blame for all I’ve done;
Own up to all those failures mine;
Failures from:
Naivetể and laziness,
Unworldliness
An focus-less

Yet I’ve managed to fulfill
Some crude achievements,
Accomplishing on intuition:
Not a bad guide, nor a good one.
All sits in the readiness;
Instinct in the readiness,
Prowess in the readiness.

Even if there’d been instruction
I’d have had to wait it out
Until my twenties – eight or seven
When the background synthesized
Into a foreground wise.

Inborn, unshorn weaknesses
That held one back,
In untold ways,

I could say, “***** it!”
Or complete the work
To fight off other frailties;
Develop and maintain
A lively strain
Of concentrative energies,
So that my foibles will be few-er.
Mea culpa!  Mea culpa!
I say, “Do it!”

I Am Guilty Of All My Failures 3.27.2018 Circling Round Egos; Circling Round Energies; I Is Always You Is We;