How many years has it been?
How many do I have left?
How many people have I seen
and how many friends have I kept?
I forgot most of them, the good and the bad
Wish I made more memories, cause these don't really last
All the time that's passed was spent looking back
I think I'm just afraid of always going off track

I don't know what I want, I don't know what I like
These days I can't tell what I want out of life
I wake up, I eat and then I sleep again
It keeps on repeating until it all ends
Is this meant to be? Is this it for me?
Am I really giving up so easily?

Being afraid of what I can't see
Being afraid of what hasn't happened
Being afraid that my seatbelts aren't fastened
A car crash in slow motion
Retired with no promotion
Even now, I lost touch with my emotions

I know that this is killing me
But I can't always let my feelings free
If I could stop time, what would I do?
I'd think more about what I should do
But I'd be here all day, just cut the crap
I don't have the stamina to run all these laps

I can't afford mishaps cause I know I can't go back
I only have a knife and I'm supposed to cut my own path
I wish I had a map. I wish I knew where to go
I wish this **** GPS worked off road
Pedal to the metal or take it slow
Either way, I have to continue the show

Is this the end?
I know now that have nothing more to give or send.
My will seems that it will no longer bend.

Is this rainstorm finally done?
I think this is finally my turn for fun under the sun.
My hopes and dreams now broken,
awaiting to be redone.

Is this a new chance?
I hope I can keep on going in this never ending dance.
My sturdy mind is finally breaking it's stance.

Is this how I will be?
I don't know if I will ever be able to fully see.
My future is amidst a violent thundering sea.

Is this a chance for a new love?
I doubt it because of these thoughts from above.
My scars on my wrist in consequence of.

Is this my life?
I say thinking this as I reach for the knife.
My mind slowly being driven by truths and lies.

Is this my only question?
I wonder as I'm fueled by my depression.
My want to finally make this confession.

Is this my only fate ?
I only believe that I can sit and just wait.
My life is in a worsening state.

Is this what I need to do?
I am uncertain if this is how to start anew.
My uncertainty is something I need to plow through.

Is this counseling really working?
I have wishes that this is certain.
My new ways seem so supporting.

Is this what I want?
I have to try to be more celebrant.
My joys must act more so an antidepressant.

Is this right?
I cover my sorrows at the sight.
My friends try to act as some sort of light.

Is this the end?
I hope you will be my friend.
My heart doesn't want to just pretend.

So please...
Please be my friend...
I don't want to be alone as I finally comprehend...
All these questions that I always suspend....

Call me when you're awake
Cause I can't stand when you're away
You've become a part of me
That I wake up just to see
Is it meant to be?
I dunno, you tell me

It's still so unclear
How I should appear
Am I coming on too strong
Did I do something wrong
I can't shake them off
Those lingering thoughts

I wish I knew better
What to do about you
Two of us together
Would be a dream come true
Don't you think so?
For now I don't know

Suicide is not the answer.
Suicide is not the answer.
Suicide is not the answer.
Suicide is not the answer.
Suicide is not the answer.
Suicide is not the answer.
Suicide is not the answer.
Suicide is not the answer.
Suicide is not the answer.
Suicide is not the answer.

Or is it?

Admiration.
Turned to dust.
Uncertain love.
Vanquished.
Through your demons.
Are to much.
For one to bear

Pave the uncertain roads for me, I’ll take your curiosity for a ride

And certainly I’ll fly through blurred out skies, a memory in my mind

As I drift off into a distant dream, I’ll keep the horizon close

Tell me when the sun starts to set, I must pack the stars and go

And bring a flashlight for when it’s dark, so that I can watch you glow

Oh dear old moon, take me home, Before it starts to snow

I’ll start my climb towards the tide, and listen to the mountains echo

They tell me dear, keep loving fear, it only brings us close

So take me on a journey, with the universe in my pockets

Take me by the hand, as we fall from the edge  

Towards an uncertain world

Vague, a word used for uncertainity
Vague, a word used for unclarity
Vague, a word used for your sincerity

You know why your sincerity?
Because your love for me is uncertain
Even a telescope cant see it clearly
For it possess so much unclarity

You should accept me
Not because i accept you
Accept me
Because you accept me

Love me
Not because i love you
Love me
Because you love me

At the break of dawn, the world has never seemed more peaceful.
After the bleak winter night has silenced, the soft breeze fills the cold morning air with the unrefined scent of new life.
The fresh snowfall settles like a white blanket over the hazy alpine.
As the warmth of the winter sun begins to cover our skin,
I lay hoping we can stay like this forever,
we are so perfect as we are right now.
So, I lay as still as I can, pretending as if the rays have melted the world away from beneath us. Afraid that if I shut my eyes, even for one second, you would disappear.
Because I know this bittersweet moment can’t last forever,
the true nature of winter will reveal itself and the frost will secrete your heart. I know I can’t have you or expect too much from you,
but under the golden painted sky of this dreamlike winter morning...
let’s just stay like this for a while.

The water edge laps at my feet.
I cannot imagine the depth of its reach,
Nor can I fathom the whole body ****** out before the horizon.

There is something alluring about the freshness of it all.
Caress against my thighs, the wetness
Wrapping around my limbs.

Let me mingle,
With your murky waters...
May I touch your bed?
Coarse at first until I mold it into my desire.

The airy hole keeps me afloat.
Please be patient, for my lack of it is withholding me.
Benign ache lingers, that needs to dissolve...

Seeking only the shallow end for now, where the warmth can never leave.
I may drown if I go further...
A chance of worth do you see?