One click, two clicks as they are locked within the chamber.
Trapped within themselves, stoking coals red hot with anger.

Because...

Kindness is a trinket, and people value it as much.
An ornament worth a look, but seldom worth a touch.

And now...

Sitting in this chamber, who I am remains unseen.
I could not cut enough to show what lies beneath.

And still...

I am who I am, and this world will not change me.
I will be who I am, this pain will not derange me.

And I wish...

I wish that all they saw was the color of my soul.
I wish my story mattered to them a bit more.

But now...

One click, two clicks with a hollow point in the chamber.
Freedom from myself, soaking walls blood red with anger.

I longed to exist, to actualize.  
               To be cognizant, to perceive.
          I longed to feel and communicate,
                   for a moment of relief.

                            ....................

  So I stood on Earth, consumed by Fire.
My skin crackled and crisped under the heat.

  I wished for release from the searing sensation, a moment of relief.

  Then Water rushed in, meeting me and  Earth.  My skin cooled, Fire squelched with a billow of steam.
  
  Though, while I stood on earth, mud and mire formed.  I found myself stuck in a vacuous trap.
  
  I burned for the freedom, once known.   For a moment of my own.

  As I stood stagnant, a mighty and benevolent gust of Wind caught the sails of my desperation.   And lifting me up, it took me away.

  My heart soared, as did my spirit, and felt the rush of air sweep me to freedom...but I felt untethered...flipping and falling....

  I longed for the structure I once felt, standing on Earth.  Stable and unmoved.  Knowing nothing but stuck yet safe.

I longed for fire to consume me....

                               ..................


          I long to die, to be non-material...
      I long to not be aware, and to not see...
I long to feel no pain, and to speak no more
       For a moment not so disappointing..