even when I accomplish,
things worthy of your praise,
your acceptance,
your love,
my battered heart,
gets beaten down,
my success gets thrown far afield,
because you can't be happy for me,
or accept me,
for the intelligent young women I have become,
to you I’m still the nieve child,
who didn’t learn from your mistakes,
like you wished I had,
Instead I took all your regrets ,
and ran to the ocean,
blue as my soul,
you watched in silent pain,
and a muddled mind,
as they fell from my hand,
because believe me mom,
your just playing pretend,
if you really think my life,
will be sin of flaws,
a perfect child,
for you to put pressure upon,
I try my hardest,
yet I’m just a faux pas,
i act to please you,
but nothing i do,
will ever bring joy to your face,
because in the end i was a giant mistake,
who took happieness from your life,
thats why you take it from mine,
and why in this family,
my insanity wavers on borderline,
between deranged and trying to survive,
yet , you laugh and you smile like everyone else,
but i see your mask,
do you see mine?

Did anyone ever stop to think that maybe mother earth has anxiety?
We say that nature can be cruel and work in mysterious ways, but she is mute. A language is always mysterious to a foreign tongue.
Perhaps my dear mother earth has anxiety.
The earthquakes are outbursts like an autistic child’s, she is begging to be heard.
She screams with thunder and any words she can muster up are nothing but whispers in the wind.
Tsunamis are angry fists slamming down on the dining room table, but no one cares to listen.
She grasps towards the heavens in attempts for everything to stop spinning, so that maybe the chaos within her will depart in one single blow.
No one cared to listen to the mute child in the corner or the room, who has always been in the corner of the room, who has been ignored and forgotten, only acknowledged when something is needed from her.

We were the voices in her head.
Each individual person chipping away at her sanity, and leaving tire tracks in her down trodden forests.
Maybe mother earth had anxiety,
maybe mother earth is dead.

sadness covered by the facade that everything's okay when it's not;
Death in the back of my mind;
As I slowly **** time and unwind;
I guess I start to feel fine;
I go back in this same sad state;
Now I'm irate;
Angry at the world and myself;
I just load the gun and wanna shoot myself;
Get rid of all this pain and suffering;
Start a new life and be happy;
The real question is after all this;
Do you wanna be happy?

She lights up with innocence
But is tempted by a rebellious bone
Small and sweet
But has had only one love
An aching heart pain
It sends shockwaves to the brain
That puts her in lockdown
No way in
No way out
The poor thing
When good comes along
She dances and sings
But soon enough
She stops and thinks
Ponders the scary things
With no knowledge on how to jump
Leap from the cliff
Have faith that destiny will catch her
She sways and grooves along
Until she finds her song

I am immersed to the light
And solace will come in time.
We diverge somewhere right
And some for wrong minds.

We get deceived for those who talks sweet,
Believing them without knowing they're real.
So protect our hearts with a seal,
Love oneself and know how it feels.

The ink of the pen represents my thoughts stored in mind.
But if I write sad poem,
You should read the inks written between the lines 
And dive in my head.

Sit beside me where pavements are rough
To prove you I don't play with love.
This has to end where we can be tough,
But I'm not a strong enough
To fight this tough love.

This is for the broken,
The thoughts of the unspoken.
To let your mind be keen
On the hollow darkness where light can still be seen.