that girl,
the one who is vulnerable and honest,
sweet and sarcastic,
tries to love unconditionally,
sees the best in others,
but not herself,
burns herself out
trying to be good at everything,
tries to put God above all else,
but always feels like she's failed,
longs to be loved,
but when love comes her way,
she doesn't know how to truly accept it.

but that girl is learning
she's growing
she's leaning on God
and trying to navigate all of this.

That girl, who hides her true self behind those lies.

That girl, who is criticized everytime she tries to rise.

.

That girl, who calls herself smiling queen but never truly smiled.

That girl, who loves to enjoy but never enjoyed.

.

That girl, whose feelings are still unspoken.

That girl, who is completely broken.

.

That girl, who hurts herself when she gets frustrated.

That girl, who was betrayed by the one whom she trusted.

.

That girl, who shares her happiness but never showed that she is in pain.

That girl, who is a little stupid and insane.

.

That girl, who wants to shout but tries to control.

That girl, who is a 15 year old broken soul.

.

That girl, who always shows that she is happy.

That girl, is none other than ME....

I'm the girl who ***** at sport and lies to get out of games.
I'm the girl who stresses too much, who spoils the moment.
I'm the girl that looks in the mirror and wants to cry because she can never look beautiful.
I'm the girl who has to fight with herself to breathe.
I'm the girl that can never be happy for her friends achievements
because she knows that she will never amount to anything.
I'm the girl that has breakdowns in class because she can't handle failure.
I'm the girl that curls up in a ball with her hands on her head and tries to block out the demons in her head.
I'm the girl that makes herself bleed.
I'm the girl that wishes she was dead.
Yeah,
I'm that girl.

But,
I'm the girl that people rely on.
I'm the girl that my friends ask for help from.
I'm the girl that gets perfect grades.
I'm the girl that is told she looks beautiful.
I'm the girl that people would **** to be.

But what they don't know is that that girl is killing me.

I'm that girl who hopes to be taken by the hand
And drifted off to neverland
Leaving my worries behind me
And soaring in the sky, free

I'm that girl who waits for a prince
And a strong true loves kiss
But I don't really need saving
It's only the passion I'm craving

Im that girl who wishes to live in a Disney movie
With nature, songs, and tremendous beauty
But instead I live in a tearful drama
With blackish skies and lasting trauma

I wish I could be a sticky note
On your mirror
Or an alarm on your phone

To remind you every day of how much
I appreciate you, of how much I
Love you, because

I notice all the things you do for me, like buying me coffee in the morning or
Kissing me to cheer me up; better yet

Always being there; The magically disappearing
Dishes from the table and the texts
Of concern; the countless reminders

Of how important I am.
But oh dearest, how important you are,
Moreso than the tides and the stars,

Because every day you choose love.

I’m so tired of that just friends ****.
How far can we take this? When do we stop labeling our love as a friendship and call it what it is?

I’m so tired of these one night stands, rushing to put my clothes on after ***, leaving no trace of myself but the sent of our lust filled passion on your sheets.

I’m so tired of hiding in the shadows, being your late-night *******, saying “I’m just not ready for a relationship.” Yet your ready to spread my legs, and i let you because of the trance you put me in when i look in your eyes.

I’m so tired of being that girl.

Messy yellow wavy hair
Hazel eyes hold no despair

Tiny brown freckles stand out against tan
This is the story of that girl, this is no man

She smiles with each word she says
A spring in her step, no hat on her head

Every time she says 'Hello!'
You want to hug her tight

That girl, she has her own unique taste
Being herself is very right

Sometimes she trips and falls to the ground
A crawls back up, makes a laughing sound

And then she tries some insane stuff
Like jumping into an unknown pile of fluff

But that young girl with the crazy mind
She loves to jump and scream and fly

I'm that girl,
the best friend.

Pushed aside
into a box,
waiting for him
to grow tired
of his shiny,
expensive,
new toy.

I'm that girl,
stable,
always available.

Only used
when the new toys
are broken.

I'm that girl,
forever
a best friend and
never
a girlfriend.

I am not the girl that you settle yourself for.
I am the woman that you solicit ***** words to but never touch.
The woman that you kiss but never wed.
That you dance with but never share home.

I am not "welcome mats"
Or "family dinners"
Nothing about me will ever settle you.
I am full lips,
And soft hands,
Dangerous mind,
And beautiful goodbyes"
I am pleasant "good mornings"
But only because I leave it there.
I am not see you later.

I am the after thought of beautiful,
Something elegant but,
not sensual enough to give into,
smart but, not notable enough to settle for,
I am heaven sent but not suited for marriage,
And I am wet dreams, not yet solid enough to build on.

I am too long, heart on sleeve
But not steady enough to keep you there.
I am kisses too far overdue,
But not striking enough to linger after in your morning.

I am sorry that I cannot be your sun
And I love myself too much to be your moon.
I am sorry,
I have to leave you here,
I am sorry,
I took up so much space in the aftermath,
The in between,
Of you and the one girl who will settle you.


-Indigo Morrison