constant contradictions
harsh words with a gentle kiss
cold eyes with a playful touch
a short fuse with tender love
always in defense mode
ready to attack, to attach
to a tone or a word misspoken
and my skin is thin
and my heart easily broken
yet I build makeshift armor
and pretend to be a hero
while you build and destroy walls
and you swear that you
love, love, love me

Love has never hurt me. As negative and as pessimistic as I can be, I love love. Nothing negative has ever come from being so wholly connected to another person.

Love is indescribable. If it means anything, I still think of Annie every day. Every time I look up at the stars I see her pale skin and her York peppermint patty eyes. I miss her everyday. And I think about what she's doing over in San Diego and if she has enough to eat and if she's safe and if people treat her right. And I want to follow her, but I choose not to because I love her enough to let her go. I know she wouldn't have me now, and I won't force it. But I love her and I want her to be okay. And if she comes to me one day, I will be happy, and if she doesn't, I will still be happy to have loved her and been with her.

I dream with her. About her. And I sing songs about what it was like to be blessed by her. I remember the smell of her hair and how soft her cheeks were when I touched them. I remember holding her in my arms as we looking at children's puzzle books and solving them together. Laughing and smiling so innocently. I'm smiling now, even knowing I almost ended my life days ago. Even knowing I may never see or speak to Annie Wright again. I loved her and that was pure and is pure.

My sweetheart if you kiss my lips thousand times
I will definitely be intoxicated with taste of the wine
Love and beauty are face to face as innocent crimes
My sweetheart I do realize that you are only mine

I want to see your head high to be in front on line
I want to see you just equal in charms,style and grace  
Like a full moonlit night in my abode you just shine
Your alluring beauty takes me to galaxies in space

So let us cross all distances to be really one to celebrate
Our jubilation like swans dancing in a real taste and style
What a scenario of beauty where love has to culminate
So my sweetheart beguile me with your sweet tender smile


Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

I can still feel his fingers
tap along to the beat,
hand nestled between
where my waist and hip meet;
it’s almost if he is trying
to make music of me.

His touch puts me in tune
and I’m an instrument
but only for his use,
because the way that boy
plays my body
is enough

to leave every inch
of it singing.

Don't say you love me.
I have a hard time
accepting those words.
Like they are foreign and
do not translate into my
native tongue.

Don't look at me
with such kind eyes.
It burns my skin and
overheats me.
Like sun rays on
newly exposed flesh.

Don't hold me so tenderly.
My body can't handle
the pain of your gentleness.
It has been conditioned
to the harshness of humanity
And may break apart if
handled any other way.

Don't leave me.
I know I am difficult,
closed off and crazy.
Truly a complicated puzzle
to piece together.
But I promise I am
worth it.

eyes upward,
catching stars,
lifting crickets out of the silence,
sweet summer breeze,
touches my shoulders and cheek,
it's late,
where have you been my sweet escape?
How long have you hidden from
this longing heart?
a silent celebration,
confetti and ticker tape,
fingers entwined,
passing cars,
rumble in the distance,
like sighing giants,
they see our hearts falling in love,
and smile at the magic,
the magic that is yours and mine,
the moments our hearts,
like planets,
align.