I remember swimming
When I was five I didn’t worry
My past is like a sky full of stars
Hopeful, bright, clear
My vision blurred
When I was ten I was learning
Nothing is clear

I remember eighth grade
I questioned the constellations
My parents remember silence
But I remember violence
I wish I couldn’t remember eighth grade
There are no constellations

I am space dust
I am weak
I am limited
I am small
I am clueless

I want success
I expect the universe
The future is like a black hole
Mysterious, engulfing, suffocating
I feel that I’ll be swallowed up
Choking to death
I think I’ll die this way
Breathless, hopeless, flightless

I remember swimming
Now there’s only drowning

He just swims in his mind
drowning sorrows in drinks,
the light has burnt out
he's unable to think,
about life and what to do.

He sneaks off in the night
taking heavy-hearted steps,
he leaves nothing behind
he just wants to forget,
about life and what not to do.

I will go swimming
in my own
thoughts.
The water
              is deep.
Glad,
I can swim.

I searched the ocean for my long lost treasure,
Only to forget about it and lose it forever.
I tried to dive deep, keep it together.
Searching for time just to discover,
It never existed.

I thought I had oxygen, I thought I’d be safe.
But turned out to be nothing when compared to the waves,
That pushed and slammed me back and forth,
Releasing my heart and stealing my core.
I’m nothing without it.

Fish everywhere of all shapes and sizes,
Some swimming in the open and some only hiding,
Never being revealed to the rest of the planet,
Nothing caring for them, holding their hand and,
Letting them win.

Their magnificent colors turn red into blue,
If I chose when to leave it wouldn’t be soon.
Fins shimmering through golden sunlight,
Holding all of them and nothing to lose sight.
No fitting in.

Every fish is different and sparkling with colors,
Never to be looked at and compared to another.
Because, quite honestly, that would ruin it all,
Comparing two fish by a mere flaw.
Life’s not a game to win.