I used to roll my eyes,
when people said love is dead,
but as I wipe the tears away,
I'm afraid hope is too.

i am so scared that i am making this up

She never played by the rules,
          she asked me to hide.

I wasn't going to be the victim,
  shorty had a blade but I wasn't
  into
    being  her fatality.

deviating
                    postcode, different rules.

It's not your fault if he doesn't say hi as you walk by.
It's not your fault if she doesn't seem to know you exist.
But it's not their fault either.
It's not your fault if you feel too much or nothing at all.
And if it gets bad, there's nothing wrong with curling up in a ball.
We all need an escape.
This is an important one.
It is NOT your fault if you get addicted to the drugs or the drink.
It's not your fault if you get so stressed, you can't eat, sleep, or think. It's not your fault
Because bad things, confusion, sadness, stress, loss, anger...it happens to everyone. It's not a choice.

Now and then I catch a glimpse

Of a shadow or piece of a thing

Alive but terrifying to reminisce.

Now and then I sense

The presence of some being

Closing in on my ears and neck.

Now and then I feel a tap

On my shoulder or my head from the back.

Surrounded by too many

Always checking

Always wondering

Who's there?

Where did you go?

But to an audience that doesn’t know

I'm alert, though in isolation

and completely alone.

Gloomy weather, windows are open
Someone sent me a message,
asking "you sure, you're alright?"
Next to mine, a hot tea and I sip a little,
and thought, a 'yes' would be nice

The winds' not so friendly

I smell the quietness of the forest

I'm drowning in well

It used to be thrilling to me-
All the **** that was killing me
That i just threw away
Habits trashed so I'd live to see another day
Still I'd pay, I'd even pray
In hopes that it would go away
They say it's a small price to pay
You could live forever living this way
And that's okay
I don't wanna be here anyway-
But i gotta stick around they say
Cause people love me, tell me "stay".
It's not a me thing, i think it's they
Who say the easy route is the coward's way
Now I'm just too tired to play
The game is rigged anyway
I'm on cruise control for another day
Feet on the dashboard, let the wheel sway
And pretend it's all good, but anyway
I've let the world have too much say
Invade my sanctuary, turn my blue to gray
I cling to this fantasy that I'll find my way
In the dark, blindfolded and broken, but anyway
It's all about the facade, me and God are okay
Talked to him for an hour yesterday
Asked him how much longer it'll be this way
He said to **** it up, it's all a joke anyway