You give me a bad feeling.
An Image of you runs through my brain
When your away,
Your face locked in my head
I can’t escape
Barely holding through the grey.

Moments fade to snapshots
Finger tips, kisses
To finger prints
And smudged lipstick
Days  spent in your car,
To now not knowing where the f** You are.
NIghts making you meals,
Laughing at reels
Making deals
Now, Phone calls and texts
Now even fade.
turned to now nothing,
Not even hey?
Im supposed to be your girl
Not feel alone in this world


Is it Just a game of who has the upper hand,
That ritual wont last
A dumb game to play,
When your grown and have already marked the pace,I know what i want,
No need to back and forth
Catch and chase
Days of waste.
Grey even fades.

A ghost, my home
Where’d you go?
That’s what makes me look for your crown.
It must be crooked, lost, somewhere,
It must be found.
I know i can turn this around, i say.
But really,
I pray.

The unknown,
The prowler at night
He seeks
He seethes
He bleeds for what he needs

My lion, my prince,
But The leo leads your days
The teeth are near
camouflage gear
claws are here  

You fade away,
Into the night,
turned days..
His hunger
He basks
He prowls
He escapes.

She dreams
She listens
She escapes
Starry nights
Headphones
And reminisce.
Long silences
Deep breaths
Hums from my heart
Into the earth
Without speaking a word.

Hoping you feel me
With your feet
If I vibrate loud enough,
I know youll feel it.
Through the smoke
I hope, It doesnt fleet.
Where is he?
Thoughts start to create,
Could he,
Would he,
Not her..

My heart
Slam beat
My mind,
Tries to delete.
When your are away,
And the image of you
Loops in my brain.
Like a broken record
On display
The once symphony
Now is only a screech.

A feeling i can’t describe.
Want to run and cry,
Hide,
sometimes die
Jump out of this window and maybe fly.

Maybe for a day..
I can disspear into the thin air.
But tomorrow,
It might all be great

My fate,
I can’t escape
Can’t mold it
like clay


K.c 9/5/2023

What my life looked like a year ago

Is nothing like it looks like now.

What my life looks like a year from today,

I hope it is nothing like it looks like now.

Rolling with the tides,

I'm having fun on this ride.

Suddenly I woke up

I realize in my laughter and whim,

I've swam too far.



Out in the dark waters,

Lost, Alone,

Where did my friends go?

I Want to get back to shore, my home.
.
hope to find my way back

but I can not see where home is.

Only seems a blurry vision now,

I'm not sure it exists anymore.

Can I get home? or is home now only a figment of my imagination.

Only a foggy image of home that I can hear like an echo calling my name.

The ocean

Swallows you

Drowns you

Encapsulates you whole..

And your wishing you never

Dipped your foot in the water.

You must swim,
Fight,
For your life to get out of the depths of the sea thats drowning you.

Every muscle,
Every bone,
Every cell,
Fighting for you.

This is no different,
Only you are only drowning on the inside dear
You must fight for your life.
But your mind must be aligned.

.

Happiness,
Happy mess
Is it Something we chase
Maybe there’s something more real
That we must face.

Why is it
When We feel sadness
We feel pain
We feel alone,
Like no one knows.

We count our thorns
While the world sees us a rose.

Unfold.

I push,
Then I pull
Directionless, getting ahead of ya
But there's a path for us all,
Devil in one hand angel in my soul
Stereotypical
I can see myself falling
But i keep going
As if I dont know betta,
Ohp im going under.

Another line,
Another smoke,
Itll numb ya up.
Oh baby, We’re just having fun.
You’re just catching up.
Too late. Now you're in.
Devil welcomes you at the door,
Now you'll be thinking about me,
And ill bring you to your knees.
How do you get more,
I’m the one you adore.

**** your relationships,
Ya need me, you see.
Life would be too plain,
And I’m the one to save you from your pain.

Addiction is not your friend
Your only a slave to
your ****** head.
So run while you can
Before your stuck
the realms of darkness
Emptiness
Expressionless

I look inside,
heart full of gold
A soul that wants to go home.
A body that wants to be loved,
By me.
But,
I tend to want the one that doesn’t want me.
Stupid psychology.
Thanks mom, thanks dad,
Is this what love is supposed to be?

Gotta retrain my brain
Into knowing what's actually good for me
It isn’t that easy
raised in a house full of
Neglect, dysfunction and misery.
You think that’s love.
But I can hear from the depths inside of me,
Love doesn’t do this,
Love sets you free.
[of entropy consuming which breathes]

Broken doors, broken glass.
I guess it aint that bad.
[Hes only just half mad
When full glass been gotten gone]


Could've been me.
[Peace enough to let the frame free]


k.c

Why is it
We write about what we need
What we’re missing

Instead of what we have
And what we have found

Always yearning
Always Craving
For something more
Than what’s given
Than what has been found.

Is there more to life out there
Or am i a hopeless dreamer
Making wishes on every shooting star
And every 11:11

Is there a point
Where we stop wanting
And start accepting
Life, for what it is
What our experience has become

I’m not sure which one
Is worse.

Maybe instead of counting how many tears
I’ve shed
I’ll start counting how many sun rises
I've seen

There is something to learn,
From nature itself
Like how the sun always falls..

But

She rises.
Over and over

Again,
And
Again

Til she burns out.
Day after day,
Until she  takes her last breath.

She will shine so bright
Her whole life
Maybe never knowing
Her true worth.

We clearly see her light.
We figure she knows how valuable she is
How much we need her,

She has no clue.
Yet She continues to rise and fall,
Breathing life unto us all.
While maybe she..
Is falling apart;
herself

Keep going
Keep burning
Even when you dont feel like it.
Someone out there needs you

-kc

As you close the curtains
I close my eyes too
But i still feel
What ive always felt for you.

And when the sun awakens,
So will you.
Maybe youll apologize,
Sometimes you do.

Whats been accomplished here
Im not sure.
Im constantly on a swing
Back and forth from
Can i love myself
And love you.

Im not sure what my goal is here
Maybe i was placed as a lesson
For you.

Im tired of being the lesson
I want to be the prize.
I want to feel desired.
Empowered.

Your eyes locked in mine

I am the fixer
I dont want perfect
I will always water you
Even if its not worth it.
If i dont get anything back
At least i am with purpose.

But your soil has dried out
I pour myself over
Nurturing you
Every last drop
I squeeze out to water you.

Your roots are too damaged
My flow still everlasting,
I seem to think.

But each drip you take
Is thrown away.
I take the water
That I desperately need
And give it to you.

Clinging to each moan
Each time we electrute

Infinite energy.
My *** is empty
Yet i know I have more,
So i keep going.
Your eyes and mine
Align.
But then the stars say, its time.
You cant turn from truth
When its looking your right in the face.
Begging you, to not run away.

You need to take a look deep inside.
I am the prize.
But we've lost track of time
Fun times turned to addictions
Actions turned vindictive
I know that white powder is so pretty
But its not a human being.

I miss being
The one you want to touch
Even if its lust.

Yearning for the day,
That i look in the mirror and can accept my face.
In my eyes,
All i see is damage.
Most days i see in grey.

I want to explore.
******* tired of being ignored.
So please step up,
Do you have what it takes?

If not, sit down
And let the next man take your place.
I have too much love to give
Jokes to have
Laughter to live
To sit here
And accept this fate.

Na
Im taking control of my day.
Ill be the one to put a smile on my face.

K.c

Depression

My old friend

Oh my, oh my

Where have you been

You creep back into me

Ever so sneakily.

How i wish, we can make amends

After all this time spent

My old friend,

You cut me open

Then stitch me closed.

My tears flow and flow

Scars open

Bleeding out into the unknown.

Then,

Just like that

You shut me off.

Disassociated,

Now I am numb

To the bone.

My old friend,

It is either all or nothing with you.

Well I am sick

Of having to come up with reasons

Of why I am not feeling well.

I’m through with you.

Out, Out,

Gone be.

You are not me.

I will not be defined by the lies you shout and whisper to me.

My old friend, you will not take me with you

I have worked too hard,

Towards light,

To stay on my own path.

My mind has blossomed and my heart has been watered

You will not **** me dry.

Leave me, Leave me

Let me be.

-k.c

The trees,

They whisper to me.

Of the things they want me to believe.

The trees, say

You are strong.

You are tall.

You will rise,

Like me.

The wind,

Whisper’s to me,

Be like me.

Be wild, be free.

Forgive. Let in.

The waves,

Speak to me.

With their resilience,

Their everlasting crash.

Forward and back, Forward and back.

The waves tell me,

Keep going.

The world will still go on without you,
The waves will still crash
The wind will still soar
The trees will still stand tall.
Seasons will change,

So keep going.
Stay strong. Be resilient. Let go, Let in.

Just,
Be.