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Nikkipopgun69 Jan 2022
You’ve been warned, of the silence..
Always dreaming of tomorrow,
Everyday I love you more ,
It’s so beautiful and bright ,
Perhaps my dream came true,
He captured my heart , With his smile
But the world is cold
I miss your voice everyday,
Refresh a story , to start a victory ,
But stories always come with a twist,
But reality is I might be the one who fell in love,
I know he’ll never love back.
I know I should just move on,
But I can’t get you out of my mind.
Maybe I’m just sick and suffering for my stupidity?
Maybe one day you’ll find this?
And read it and think **** this is about me without feeding your ego.
But maybe it’s just me overthinking every situation,
Because I’ve always felt not wanted.
But thanks to you I know how it felt to actually be in love with somebody. Even if that love was one sided.
Nikkipopgun69 Nov 2021
A Curse of falling in love with the right person wrong time.
Finally coming to terms you’ve lost your chance in this moment in time.
The heart aches comes running in ,
How can a heart hurt so much when they weren’t even yours?
Stuck within the feeling of wanting to wait around but you know deep down inside..
You need to just set them free, because you just want them to be happy. Even if it comes around to pretending you’re happy.
Even though you just want to scream
And shout why can’t anything go right for me?
Am I just too clingy? Or afraid of losing you?
Is it something I said? But after all this in the end I’ll never regret the time I said… love you while looking right into your eyes.
Nikkipopgun69 Nov 2021
They say you were never in love… it was just a fantasy story …with the scenarios you made up inside your head. Then it leaves you questioning everything you’ve done… asking yourself are they right?
Did I just fall in love with the idea of them… knowing they’d never be mine… always falling for the people I can never have ..

it’s such a travesty….it always ends up in heart break
Trying to put myself back together again
How could I let this happen again
I’m done with being lost and swollen my pride…
Nikkipopgun69 Sep 2021
Wishing I could free myself from this prison  and this island inside my head..
Because I can see a monster appearing
When I look into your eyes
I see a person I’ve never seen before.

It’s a blessing … It’s a curse
To feel everything so deeply
But I fell in love when I didn’t want too..
I will always be there for you
No matter how hard the situation is
Even if I have to take a step back

I like to say your name and call you my love
Just to see a smile on your face.
Even though you will never be mine I’ll always try my best to make sure you’re happy.

Maybe I’m not perfect but I’ll never give up on you.
Because I see something worth staying around for.
I could talk to you for hours and forget everything that’s ruining through my head.

Trying to avoid everything to protect myself from you and pretend that I never saw a thing.
Turns out I’m just a prisoner of my own mind.
When someone says they respect you. But didn’t tell you they have a thing with someone and kiss them in front of you… when they know joe much you love them
Nikkipopgun69 Aug 2021
Thinking it’s a waste of time
What’s the point if I’ve tried so many times
When every time is ignored
Thought I’d give feelings one last go
What a fool I was to do that
I’m only relevant when  It’s suits you.

I’ll bring pretend I didn’t send anything it’s
All in your imagination by pressing unsend.
I can put you on mute also.
Trying to keep myself together when I’m falling apart.
Putting a fake smile on my face everyday pretending that I’m fine.
Sometimes people say you write the best things in your life when you’re sad or hurt
I guess they’re right..
I wish I never let myself fall for you maybe it was just the thought of you.
Nikkipopgun69 Aug 2021
You can be in a room filled with the most kindest people, having a blast where it’s 2am. And all I want is to speak to you or even just write you a cute little message. I thought I’d never say this about anyone… sometimes I think maybe these are just true feelings… I never want anything at all back I just urm want to make you feel happy and loved.
Wonder if someone could tell me if it’s okay to be thinking all these things even if you don’t feel the same or say you can’t talk to me how I want you too… but it come back around to I never want anything. I’m just being nice because you deserve to feel loved
Nikkipopgun69 Aug 2021
Some people say our happiness and love is magical.
I fell in love with the idea of you
But In my heart it maze well be dead
Realising  true love hurts because it’s so powerful.
But it brings sadness to your life especially if it doesn’t seem to be going right
He’s so beautiful wishing he could be my forever.

In my heart everyday and every night
Catch me heading for a blackout from the heavy drinking.
But my loneliness comes creeping in
Wishing for memories to disappear.
I don’t need your pity because I know I let you down that one day and ruined everything.
I wouldn’t want to remember me either.

Even if you say my messages make you happy yet you leave me on delivered….yet maybe you say you can’t  reciprocated the feelings but something that makes you happy is reciprocating the same feelings.
You’ve been a beautiful distraction but my heart turns numb too quickly but I can’t wait for you forever.
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