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I gave you my attention and you gave it straight back to me.such a fool I fell for it..cos I always want what I can’t have.
The amount I hate myself isn’t healthy.

I took sometime away from the commenting because I was only in it to hurt myself just a little more. It was a game ..a very dangerous game.

Trying to do sober January on day seven..
It’s hard when being lock up in this house,with these days just slip away 7 days a week

I got hooked on hopeless feelings
I just wanted to feel loved even if it was for only a brief moment... I confess I’m only hanging on by a thin thread some days.

Then getting the pain just slaps you in the face.
Because you’re not good enough or got the face of those pretty people.
Here’s to the hopeless floating around , not having anywhere to go.

You’ll never see this so it’s okay to post this..
A Punch line  comes   long but sometimes it can hit you in the face like a soccer punch

I feel so alone
I I just need your approval
I can’t get you out of my
I just need some time cos I’m sick of fading
Into the background .

You pretend you know how I feel
But you can’t follow your own advice.

Trying to tell others there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

When you’re sinking 6 feet into the ground
Waiting for the breakthrough to come around

We are just the lonely souls
Floating around
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother man,
Playing a dangerous game with myself over and over again... from reading in between the lines.... I tell everyone I love them anyway... because it’s nice to feel loved now and again...
But I’d rather die alone...  I mean I’ve been mega broken since May last year so... what does that matter anyway.  I’m done and dusted over anything or everything in a matter of seconds. Don’t know what you did in my pass life everything I do or say I’m always lonely even with company but whatever.

Perhaps if I go away again everything will be better.  Too turn off notifications let’s faces it only a few care anyway...
You’re like a tapeworm that’s stuck inside my head. I try to forget about you, it just doesn’t work
I know deep down you don’t feel the same. But I can’t stop liking you.

I wish I could ease the feelings it would be a lot easier.
I play fake scenarios  through my head thinking am I overthinking the whole  situation.. because things you said can mean two things..

But all this overthinking is dragging me down
I just don’t know what to do anymore
I wish they was a such a clearer sign... but
Now I’m just stuck in a limbo instead my head.

I tell everyone I love them if they mean a lot to me. Because I didn’t get to tell one of my friends I loved them before they died. And if I think you’re good looking I’ll tell you that even if I can’t have you.
Being stuck within feelings
You can leave me on read
Cos I know you’ve got your own demons
But I have my own too, they eat away at me.
There’s only one thing you need to know  is the truth.

You’ve made me feel something I haven’t in a long time . You’re driving me crazy and my life is such a mess. But you leave me with a smile on my face even though I get nervous around you.

This is like a letter you’ll never read, yeah that ***** but ,  I needed to get my thoughts out
I can’t keep them to myself no more. I’m sick of them eaten me alive. I’ll hype you up no matter what even if I’m down.

I’ll carry on trying to break down your walls... cos you deserve the world. Even if that means I have to let down my own guide . And hurt myself in the long run.
When you love someone and they don’t love you back

— The End —