I lay awake to the sound of sirens,
the morning bustle and calamity.
Busy people among relentless lives,
breathing in their first breathes of the day,
Echoes of the coffee stirring and pitter patter
Of footsteps leading their way
But I remain here, stubbornly in my bed,
With an unwillingness to start.
For the curvature of the bed,
made by my own brutish heft
feels as though a valley to climb
has begun to steapen
The reluctance to clamber my way
Out of these walls
Has devoured my will to move
And I will remain stuck here
Until I am yanked with force
By someone who cares

Death tempts me with a chance to finally fall asleep...


And I chose to decline.
O' the regret.

can't be bothered
to lift my feet
I drag along, the empty street

my head throbs
my body aches
my eyes open, I'm not awake

always tired
can't sleep
sometimes I, forget to eat

this life I live
has me exhausted
my own agenda, has me hostage

the warm glow of the tailights ahead
faint music playing in the background
the sound of your breath in the foreground

your head rests with a welcome weight on my shoulder
warm and heavy in the crook of my neck

my cheek rests softly on your crown

my eyes shut naturally, wholly content
you reach around my arm and pull me closer

my heart leaps, your touch is so comforting
in that moment, us together, warm and happy, trading hearts

i never want to let you go
i itch to tilt your chin toward me, i want to look in your eyes
i want to kiss your whole face

but instead i listen to you breathe
and wonder how i can love you this much

shaved my head again last night,
watched empire records and saw deb and shaved my head again last night.
ate spaghetti, my best friend got into college
my best friend got into college and we ate spaghetti and shaved my head again
we shaved my head again cause we watched empire records and i saw deb and i saw deb shave her head and i thought that looks awesome
so we ate spaghetti
and she got into college,
she’s already in college but she got into a different college
so i made her spaghetti and we watched empire records
and we watched empire records
and ate spaghetti
and she shaved my head cause we watched empire records
and now she’s going to college
a different college
she’s already in college
she’s going to a different college
i didn’t text that dude
i didn’t text that dude, and he didnt text me
i saw his girlfriend on instagram
his girlfriend posted on instagram and i saw it
a picture of that dude
i was maybe going to text him
i was maybe
going to text him
but then i saw his girlfriend
on instagram i saw his girlfriend
his girlfriend posted on instagram
a picture of that dude
so i didn’t text that dude
cause i saw his girlfriend
i woke up and my cats were on me and my arm was asleep
my arm was asleep
my arm was asleep cause my cats were on me
my cats, both of them,
two of them, my cats
were on it, one of them, one of my arms,
both of my cats
both of my cats were on one of my arms

There's a radio on
Blending into the drone of the car.
Outside, it is silent.
Silent trees, silent night.
Inside, there is weight.
All around, may as well be outer space.
Dark, there's stars.  I'm an astronaut
Gazing through the thick paned glass.
Inside, where there's weight, I feel completely
Filled.
And so separate from what's out there.
Not just the stars, the trees, the noise,
But the people, the laughs, the bounce.
Tomorrow, I'll be buoyant again.
Eyes wide,
Limbs nimble,
A-glow.
Tonight, though, I am heavy
Heavy in my hips and head and heart and ribs
Every breath wraps me in an embrace of air
I feel my stomach hug back.
My eyelids steal kisses
My legs melt.
Inside (of me) there's weight
Soft, sweet, lulling, drawling
Weight.

I could fall asleep on endless,
Drop from the stars above,
Drown in the darkness of the pond,
Or dance off the highest peak of the mountains.
I could drive to and through the end of the road,
Drink 'til my liver's thin,
Or dizzlily walk into oncoming traffic,
And, honestly, that would be okay