waking up
is like
coming up for air -

but after you take
that first breath,
youre ready
to go back
under.

If your heartbeat is my favourite lullaby, how could I sleep without you?!

you'd think
in the state of mind
that I've been in lately
sleep
would be a relief

nope

guess not
'cause
I've been forcing myself
to stay
awake

two days now

it's not
that I even want
to be
awake

when I am
conscious
my loneliness
and the
weight
of my
empty
soul
are exhausting enough
that I never
want to leave
my bed

yet
I force my eyes open
drink
my eighth cup of tea
strain
my body
and mind
to keep going
without
rest

I don't want
to dream
again

I can never
seem
to recall them
as of late-
however
the feeling
of what they were
their presence
still lingers
after I
wake up

the emotions
within them
randomly
stab my brain
while I am
awake

more often
than not
the leftover
remnants
of my forgotten
dreams
make me feel
worse
than my
waking
feelings do

The endless sky &
the infinite being,
The stars of the night
& all that I am seeing,

Sleepy eyes that
take away my heart,
The sleepy face of yours
that drove me crazy from the start,

And the glitter of happiness
when in your eyes alight,
Tantalizing and moist lips,
that are parted... slight

The mesmerizing mixture
is so clear in my mind,
I pray, appear in my dreams
sweetie please be kind.

I know you're sleeping
oblivious to all this,
I messaged to say
Good night! sealed with a kiss.

Love isn't the endless colours of confusion running through your mind on a lonely Friday night thinking that without them, you'd be nothing.
Love isn't the messages they send you at 4 AM because you're sleeping & they miss your body sprawled all over theirs in a lovely mess of lust & fascination.
Love isn't purely the cute dates in blanket forts with loud music & ugly fights with disagreements followed by rude names.

Love is your best friend who brings you hot chocolate in the summer & ice cream in the winter because you love them both all year round.
Love is the beautiful baby of a stranger in an ugly stroller passing you on the side walk today who happened to be the only one to shine you a smile.
Love is the girl who ordered from you two weeks ago with the most beautiful curly hair & her politeness stuck in your mind as you endlessly wonder if she made it home okay.

It's important to love & trust me I love so many new people each & every day. You should too.
Love someone's shirt because it doesn't suit them but they wear it anyway.
Love someone's smile when it's raining but they're dancing.
Love someone's kindness when they're treated like dirt.
Love someone's eyes when they catch you from across the room.

Love people, every day, all the time. There's something to love in everybody & if you find someone with everything to love in them, hold them close.

Bodies intertwined
breaths hugging and soft
the pillow
like velvet in that moment
and sleep
a mesmerising film
a limerick,
evoking a smile