home used to be
a fire crackling,
the furnace roaring
the stack of books
piled up by my bedside
and home was the
creaking stairs,
my favorite hiding places
and the words i could not say
written gently on my wall-

that was home before

but who would've thought
that home could also exist
in the eyes of a beautiful boy
who hid my secrets
better than the space
behind the cupboard ever could-
who understood what was written
on my walls, engraved in my mind
even better than i ever could have

home used to be
the place i would run to
whenever the skies bled
in somber gray,
and i wonder why
i always end up running to you
every time

In a cold universe of stars,
I am just one of them, ever bright
However, I am born to lose my light
and crash through the dome of somber skies
darkened by the star's perennial lie:
*they have already gone silent.

Beauty is
Flowers, rain, the night skies, city lights,
and,
benevolence and compassion.

For I see humans everywhere,
but no humanity.

Here I am
living an unreal dream.

The stars collide together
the forest breathes it in.
the waters speak softly
and here I am,
dreaming.

All around me there is life.
The air never sweeter
the grass never greener
the song of the birds never so melodious.

How I bask in this moment
how I smother myself in its embrace.

I rest easy
and let nature take its course.
Over valley, over meadow,
over stream, over glen,
over the bluest skies
and the tallest trees
over the birds that fly
and over the raging sea,
that is where you will find me.

Wrapped in my thoughts
surrounded by the things I love
with peace in my heart
and joy in my spirit.

That is where you will find me
Living in a perfect dream.

The pain is strong
I am not
It has control
I do not
It fills through me
I sit and wait
It is cancer
I am me
It has control
I cannot fight it
It has won
I have lost
So long and goodnight