Im tired of reaching
You not taking my hand
Im tired of picking up pieces
Like playing in the sand

Im tired of you never confident
Never opening up
The hope is nearly gone
A last sip from your cup

Take it all in
Breathe in what you expose
You smile on the outside
What's inside, who knows

I know you're hurting
I know your're lost
But give it your best effort
No need to exhaust

I'm here to listen
I promise you
They say
"I'll always love you
No matter what you do"

But the thing is
I will
With all that i have
I will
With all that i am

Im here to guide you
And keep you from harm
No wings to life
But to shelter by arms

You need never say
Whenever you are down
I always know
Whether smile or frown

I know when you're hurt
I see right through you
And though you don't know
I really do love you

You are my love
You are my keeper
You are my one fan
My one believer

Mistake me not
For falsehood or deception
For the one thing i need
Is your clear heart's reflection

I want to be the one you find shelter in; I long for your embrace.
I wish to wipe the tears from your beautiful eyes; you alone make me feel this way.
I hope that I am good enough for you; doubt creeps in each time you are away.
I miss your caress and your care; take me away from this place.

It starts in other countries, in other states, in other cities. We see it on the news. It doesn't affect us. When it happens to somebody we know, we grieve for them, but we won't look them in the eye.

Only when the pain and surging, suffering tide of the escaping masses comes to break down your door, will you then say, "There is no shelter here. This is MY home, stay here no more!"

And they will all cry,
"No, it is YOU that has no shelter here! Why did you look away when they went for your neighborhood?"

Yelling back as you remind,
"Did you not turn them away the same as I, to deny them brotherhood?"

By then it's too late.
Misunderstood, we run but can't hide.
There will be no shelter here.

My Sensual King,

I used to wake up
to goosebumps and shivvers
because upon throwing my blankets to the side
the cold of the world consumed my body
and my heart filled with sadness
and I always thought I'd rather be that way
than filled with the anger and greed
this world so wholly contains
I'd always felt i was misunderstood
because nobody saw me or the way I see life
they always wrote me off
and went along dooming the world

But upon meeting you all that changed
I stopped being afraid
I grasped a meaning
that I'd been searching for for so long
You warmed my heart
and upon waking I no longer shivverd
and my goosbumps remain
but they are only from the tingle
I get upon feeling your touch
My eyes are opened
to the love this world truly has to offer
and I can see now
because I found my loving shelter inside of you

With Love,
Yor Little Angel <3

You were my umbrella and my parasol
Always sheltering me,
Always protecting me.

But now that you are gone
I cry tears like rain
And burn inside like a flame.

An umbrella and a parasol
Protecting me
From the moody
Weather
That is me.


F.Z.N

Home is where the souls reside
Heart’s mantra is only bliss
Happiness spilling beyond four walls
The roof above shelters the love
Strong foundation of only truth
Ecstatic moments of fun and frolic
Home which shelters lovely souls
It’s just not a structure anymore
Housing the home in your heart

We were sweat soaked sheets and *****.
Logic drowned.
Hungry lips among naked limbs,
a comfort sought in arms found.
We were stress released,
our playful violence unrestrained.
Each wanted. Searching within the other,
never properly attained.
We are fists of hair and clawed skin,
Finding ecstasy in pain.
The hurt from one another,
cover the other scars that still remain.

Home.
Where the heart is,
The title of the page with all the new poems you follow.
The place that provides shelter from the rain
Where you're supposed to feel safe.

What do you need right now, Nita?*

Shelter from the storm...that’s what I would like right now, that’s what I need right now, dear therapist. Shelter from the storm.

I don’t doubt my determination to survive and yet here I am crying again. Crying and wishing for some GD shelter from the storm…the therapist does not question my commitment or desire to continue to work through this and someday come out on the other side. At least I don’t think he does.

I can’t find my safe place now…it was such a fragile structure to begin with, made of straw and easily blown away in a storm. But it did exist two years ago. It did. And for the first time in my life I felt understood, safe, ‘real’. My safe place was a place I could be angry and sad, and hopeless. A place I could ask for guidance in the midst of confusion; a place of encouragement and comfort. A place where I could find shelter from the storm.

But I can’t find it now! I feel like I am on the edge of tumbling into oblivion due to my own intransigence and inability to let the therapist back in.(or anybody) And I desperately need him tonight…shelter from the rain, stability in the wind, comfort in the thunder and lightning that is threatening me now.

And what is maddening to me is if the therapist walked up to me right now, with a stadium sized umbrella and said, “Nita, come in and I will give you shelter from the storm.” I still stand in the rain, wind and thunderstorm and decline his umbrella because of my fear he would just wrench it away before the storm was over.

So, here I sit, like a frightened child, on my own little island, surrounded by the storm, crying my eyes out over loss and betrayal…on an endless search for shelter from the storm.

Here I sit arguing with myself!

"Nita, you can't do it alone.  He wants to help you - take the **** umbrella!"  
"No!  I won't take it!  I don't need his **** umbrella!"  
"Fine! You stupid baby! Suffer by yourself then ~ stubborn little *****!"  
"I said take the umbrella!"

Messed up?  That does not even begin to cover it.