I’m so scared.

A year from now, we’ll all be getting our results

and then we’ll be off our separate ways.

Living separate lives

theirs.

Stupid, stupid promises of staying together,

staying in touch.

They have no idea

no clue

that sometimes they’re the only ones keeping me from

Falling Apart.

And I try to quit while I’m ahead.

I try to end it all before they leave.

But I’m Weak.



They won’t mean to do it.

But then after, meeting up would turn into

Skype calls

would turn into

calls

would turn into

text messages

would turn into final goodbyes

would turn into memories.

Memories, that’s all we’ll have.



and I’m scared.

I gaze upon stars
the same stars you see
they bring me closer
closer
but not close enough

My first thought? The grass tickles
it pokes into my dress
thousands of offending green prickles


I am planted in a garden of wilted flower stems
My eyes flicking around, the only truth-be-told gems
and even those, they stare dully around me

little girl I am, looking around like a woman of seventy

It's disgusting here I think of the place I'm seated
Will anyone come get me? No?
I huff, angrily, defeated


My hands inch towards the crayon, my eyes flick
towards the wall, built from fading red bricks
That's very high, not to mention thick
and the more I think about it, the more it makes me sick

I don't know who he is, but on the other side is a child
and in this whole ugly world, so horribly defiled
he shall be the only one I can count on

too bad we've never spoken
too bad your head is horribly broken

But he shall love you, and he shall care for you
he loves you, and he'll take you far far away
and for the rest of forever, you two will play

but first, you must speak


"I love him, forever and always, I love this child"

I have never seen him, I trust he exists
But I'm annoyed. It is so boring here.
Can't he take me out of this?

First, you must talk.



All right, all right. I let out a sigh
grab the crumpled paper sheets from nearby

*Dear, Lord, how're you today?

The silent war between lovers' lines,
In the midst of endless time,
I find nigh, I am high,

To the core, in my endless mind,
The kind of hearts, that pry and pry,

Curses shouted to the wind,
Verses, written to the page,

A fast, and slow calling, just barely out of reach.
Touch my fingertips and look into my eyes,
As I slip, and fly away.

~Robert van Lingen